Month: March 2017 Page 1 of 2

A common issue that affects many of the leaders and business owners that I coach is that they tend to put others needs before their own. I therefore spend some of the coaching time discussing the importance of self-care in order to avoid burn out and sustain results.

Many of them have very high standards, a real drive to produce outstanding results and have lots of people that want a bit of them. This can make it challenging to balance business demands with home life and parental responsibilities.

It’s very easy to fall into the trap of putting other people’s needs before our own. Many of us were brought up to believe that focusing on our needs was somehow selfish. A desire to please people can also mean that we prioritise other people’s demands and needs before our own. Therefore it can lead to feelings of guilt when we put ourselves first.

This uses valuable energy and head space and can act as a mental obstacle which clouds our thinking. It’s a necessity for us to regularly take time to focus on our own needs, recharge our batteries and increase our energy levels without feeling bad for doing so.

When I start discussing the importance of self-care with clients I frequently mention the metaphor that I learned from boarding a plane. Have you noticed that when they make the safety announcement the crew always give a specific instruction? They tell you that in the event of an emergency (when the oxygen mask appears) to apply your mask first. They say that you must do this before you attempt to help others with their mask. The reason for this is that if you don’t have oxygen/energy you won’t be in a position to help others!

It’s imperative, if we wish to avoid burn out and keep delivering first class results that we balance the amount that we care for others and our own needs. Being well rested and looking after our health means that we will have the requisite energy to help those around us.

If you’re regularly tired because you have irregular sleep patterns, skip meals or fail to get exercise, then start making this a priority.

The phrase self-care has gained in popularity over recent years and reminds of the importance of taking care of our needs, so we can be the best we can be. It prompts us to take care of our physical needs (getting enough sleep, right diet, regular exercise etc.); emotional needs (asking for help when needed); mental needs (stimulating job, interests, personal development etc.); spiritual needs (time for prayer, meditation etc.).

Having good self-care also helps us to maintain good health and this should be a good incentive to look after ourselves. In life having good health is the real wealth.

Here are a few self-care tips:-

• Keep hydrated – Drink plenty of water – recommended daily intake is 1.5-2 litres a day
• Eat 5 pieces of fruit or vegetables every day
• Exercise – it is recommended that you undertake 30 minutes of physical exercise every day. This doesn’t have to be a visit to a gym, walking is good for you.
• Ensure that you get enough sleep, so your body has time to relax and recover. Keep your sleep patterns regular; go to bed and get up at the same time every day.
• Minimise the amount of caffeine that you have on a daily basis and keep alcohol intake within the recommended weekly limits
• Put some time aside to watch some funny movies or comedy shows and have a good laugh. Humour helps you feel good, more relaxed and energised.
• Avoid negative people and environments that drag you down. Ensure that you spend time with people who radiate energy and help you increase your energy levels and not deplete them!
• Give up being a people pleaser. Be kind to yourself and ensure that your self-talk is encouraging and positive.
• Be comfortable saying no when you have numerous demands on your time and let go of things that you can’t control.
• Unplug from technology on at least one day a week. Give your brain a rest and be in the moment.

This week, why not pause for a few moments and reflect on the following questions:-

• What action do you need to take to put your needs first more often?
• What do you need to do to create more energy and balance in your life?

This week’s quotation:

“To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.” Mother Theresa


To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

The title for this week’s blog came to me when I sat down to write this piece. It is part of the lyrics for the Ken Dodd song “Happiness” released in 1964! I’ve dedicated this week’s blog to happiness as today is the United Nation’s International Day of Happiness. The day is co-ordinated by Action for Happiness, a non-profit movement of people from 160 countries, supported by a partnership of like- minded organisations.

Since 2013, March 20 has been established as the annual International Day of Happiness and all 193 United Nations member states have adopted a resolution calling for happiness to be given greater priority. Given all the uncertainty, division and negativity around in the world at present a day dedicated to happiness seems even more appropriate this year.

Action for Happiness state that a profound shift in attitudes is underway all over the world. People are now recognising that ‘progress’ should be about increasing human happiness and wellbeing, not just growing the economy.

Happiness is a fuzzy concept and can mean many things to many people. As we are all unique, we all have our own happiness definition. On the International Day of Happiness website, they pose the question “what makes us really happy?” They go on to say advertisers tell us that happiness comes from buying their products. Celebrities and the media pretend it comes with beauty & fame and politicians claim that nothing matters more than growing the economy.

A guidebook “The Ten Keys to Happier Living Guidebook” has been produced by Action for Happiness. It’s packed full of great ideas and is free to download at www.actionforhappiness.org. It includes a Mnemonic “great dream” which provides information relating to the Ten Keys to Happier Living.

The Ten Keys are based on a review of the latest research from psychology and related fields. Everyone’s path to happiness is different but the evidence suggests these Ten Keys consistently tend to have a positive impact on people’s happiness and well-being. There’s also a book about the Ten Keys to Happier Living written by psychology expert Vanessa King, which reveals how we can unlock the science of happiness to lead happier lives and create a happier world.

The Ten Keys to Happier Living are:-

• Giving – Do things for others
• Relating – Connect with people
• Exercising – Take care of your body
• Appreciating – Notice the world around you
• Trying out – Keep learning new things
• Direction – Have goals to look forward to
• Resilience – Find ways to bounce back
• Emotion – Take a positive approach
• Acceptance – Be comfortable with who you are
• Meaning – Be part of something bigger

More detail on how you can bring these to life is provided in the downloadable pack.

During this week, why not take some time out to reflect and consider what makes you really happy. What steps can you take to spread a little happiness and increase your own happiness levels?

This week’s quotation:

“People are just about as happy as they make up their mind to be.” Abraham Lincoln

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

One of the great things about March in the UK is that you get to see some lovely daffodils and other bulbs bursting into colour in our gardens and parks. They brighten up the environment after cloudy and gloomy winter months. Daffodils have a special significance for me.

It was a story about daffodils that inspired me to approach tasks in a different way. It taught me valuable lessons about how you can accomplish large tasks and goals over time. I learned that small and incremental steps applied consistently lead to outstanding results.

I remind myself of the story when I feel myself procrastinating, feel overwhelmed or daunted by a task. The wisdom contained in the story was instrumental in the way that I wrote my book Be First Class. I set regular time aside to write a specific number of words and this approach was a significant factor in ensuring the book was completed. The tale taught me that you achieve whatever you set your heart and mind on achieving provided you stay self-disciplined.

I’ve shared the story below and hope that it inspires you to pursue your dreams and desires and helps you to fulfil your potential and be the best you can be.

The Daffodil Principle

Every year, high in the San Bernardino mountain range of Southern California, five acres of beautiful daffodils burst into bloom. Amazingly, this special spot, known as “The Daffodil Garden,” was planted by one person, Gene Bauer, one bulb at a time, beginning in 1958. This story originally appeared in Jaroldeen Edwards’ book Celebration! The story contains details of a mother being taken to see the daffodils in bloom by her daughter Julie. Apparently, Gene Bauer’s house (which was adjacent to the field of daffodils) had a little sign on it which said:-

Answers to the questions I know that you are asking:-

• 50,000 bulbs
• One at a time
• By one woman
• 2 hands, 2 feet, and very little brain, began in 1958

Gene Bauer planted one bulb at a time to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain top. In doing so, she forever changed the world in which she lived. She had created something of magnificent beauty and inspiration. The life lessons her daffodil garden teach us are:

• Learn to move towards goals and desires one step at a time (often just one baby-step at a time)
• Ensure that we get pleasure from the doing
• Use the accumulation of time
• When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we can accomplish magnificent things

After seeing the flowers in full bloom, the mother said to her daughter, “It makes me sad in a way, I’m thinking about what I might have accomplished if I’d thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five years ago. If I had worked away at it ‘one bulb at a time’ through all those years, just think what I might have been able to achieve!”

Her daughter summed up the message of the day in her direct way, “Start tomorrow, Mum,” she said, “It’s so pointless to think of the lost hours of our yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson a celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, how can I put this to use today?”

I have mentioned previously in the blog that life is all about margins and that there’s often a tiny difference between winning and losing, perceived success and failure, hitting or missing a target. I’m sure you can think of examples from your own life experiences where the tiniest of margins determined the outcome of a situation. We all sometimes mistakenly think that we have to keep taking massive action to get a result or make change happen in our life.

The fact is that small incremental steps towards a goal accumulate into massive progress when applied consistently. For instance, it’s worth reminding ourselves sometimes that one action per day towards a goal amounts to 365 separate actions annually. Thirty minutes invested each day in pursuing a goal amounts to 182 hours per year (seven and half days!).

This week why not pause for a few moments and reflect on the following questions:

Is there a task or project (professionally or personally) that you are procrastinating on?

What action step could you take to get things moving?

This week’s quotation:

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk