Month: February 2019 Page 1 of 2

“A word of encouragement from a teacher to a child can change a life. A word of encouragement from a spouse can save a marriage. A word of encouragement from a leader can inspire a person to reach their potential.” – John C. Maxwell.

In the blog over the past two weeks, I have discussed what stops us taking a leap of faith. I have also covered the important role that bravery plays in helping us face fear in the face, step outside our comfort zone and take a leap of faith.

When I was reflecting on these topics it occurred to me that in order to commit to something new we also need to be careful about the voices and opinions that we allow to influence us.

As an example, when clients seek my support to help them to define and achieve their goals, I advise them to only tell people who will be supportive and encouraging about their plans. It’s imperative to choose wisely who you confide in about your hopes, dreams and aspirations.

Some people will put you off trying something new because they will project their fear onto you. It could be that they have suffered disappointment in their own life and sub consciously they don’t want you to succeed in something where they didn’t.

It could also be that secretly someone would love to be doing what you are planning to do. However, they may know that they don’t have the courage or resources to do it themselves. In such circumstances (often sub-consciously) they may seek to undermine your confidence and sabotage your plans. Doing this means that they won’t have to confront the feelings of regret, frustration, envy and inadequacy they may feel if you took a leap and succeeded.

In the course of writing this blog, I came across this quotation from Yehuda Berg, which I believe illustrates the power that words can yield. He said:

“Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.”

It is natural when we are seeking to break new ground, step out into the unknown to have a few doubts and a bit of apprehension. You therefore don’t want to be exposed to dissenting voices or other people’s negativity about your goals and dreams.

When you start to pursue a goal, it’s helpful to develop strategies to quieten your own negative thoughts and the voice of your inner critic. I was astonished when I first discovered some research that suggests that the average person talks to him/herself about 60,000 times a day! Furthermore it’s said that most of this self-talk is negative!

There is a great story about a frog race which I featured in my first book “Be First Class.” It’s worth bearing in mind when you’re contemplating taking a leap of faith or you want to achieve a goal and make a dream a reality. I have shared this below:

The frog race.

There was once a bunch of tiny frogs, who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants. The race began.

No one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. They shouted, “Oh, way too difficult, they will NEVER make it to the top” and “Not a chance. The tower is too high.”

The tiny frogs began collapsing, one by one except for those who, in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher.

The crowd continued to yell, “It’s too difficult! No one will make it!”

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up. But one continued higher and higher. This one wouldn’t give up! And he reached the top.

Everyone wanted to know how this one frog managed such a great feat. What was his secret?

This little frog was deaf!

The wisdom of this story is to ignore the pessimism of others. It can take your dreams from you. Stay positive, follow your heart and pursue your goals with confidence and passion.

When you have decided on a goal that you want to pursue, it is useful to clearly picture a positive outcome in as much detail as possible. Positive focused thoughts sprinkled with some encouragement, conviction, determination and passion are an unstoppable force.

This powerful mix will help you to take a leap of faith and more than likely help you to accomplish what you set your mind to achieve.

This week, why not take a few moments to reflect and think about your support network. Are there negative and pessimistic opinions (including your own) that are less than helpful? Are there voices that you need to stop listening to and ignore?

Conversely, do you need to express gratitude for the support and encouragement that some people provide to you?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.”    –  Eleanor Roosevelt.

I was talking with a friend last week and the subject of bravery came up. He said that if we want to fulfil our potential and be the best we can be, we have to be brave sometimes. This could mean taking the road less travelled and not being afraid to step outside our comfort zone.

We agreed that there are times when you have to take a risk, a leap of faith and face fear in the face. On occasions we have to trust our inner voice when it prompts us to do something and take action.

In last week’s blog, I talked about what stops us taking a leap of faith. This week’s blog seems to be a natural follow on from that one. Below I have included a chapter from my latest book “Just Be” called Be Brave. It features one man’s bravery and his literal leap of faith!

Be Brave (taken from the book Just Be written by Stephen Pauley).

Life’s too short not to take a few risks! There are many stories of doom and gloom published and discussed by the media. There are stories of negativity, struggle, hardship and conflict on a daily basis.

However, if you look closely enough there are also stories of humans achieving some wonderful feats, succeeding against the odds and defying conventional wisdom. There are many examples of inspirational people. I love hearing and reading stories about ordinary people doing extraordinary things.

One such story relates to Verdun Hayes, a 101year old great grandfather from Croyde in Devon.

During his life he has fought on the beaches at Normandy and won the Legion d’Honneur for bravery. He has flown gliders and crash landed in a hot air balloon.

However, there was one thing that had eluded him for years which was skydiving. The activity where you leap out of a plane at one hundred and twenty five miles per hour for two minutes before you pull the cord on your parachute and open the canopy. This enables you to float back down to the ground at a gentler place.

Verdun had always wanted to jump out of a plane. He said in an interview with the Daily Mail “I love excitement and the rush of adrenaline. I think it’s in my bloodstream. I’ve always liked to do things other people don’t – sometimes, I think, just for the devilment.”

Unsurprisingly, his family were less keen. He said “Every time I brought it up, they talked me out of it. They told me it was too dangerous. First, it was my wife Hilda then the rest of them. They were very against it. I seem to remember the word nutcase being used.”

But Verdun didn’t let it go. On his 90th birthday he begged his wife to let him mark it in style. His efforts were in vain. She thought that he would injure himself and that he was too old. He went along with his wife’s wishes but he remained keen to fulfil his ambition.

By the time he reached his centenary, Hilda was no longer around to protect him from himself. Sadly, she had passed away in 2013 after 75 years of marriage. Verdun had had enough of playing safe. He said to himself “Right, I had better do this jump then.” He said that he realised that life’s too short to worry about things going wrong.

So in April 2016, he fulfilled his dream and jumped out of a plane, two miles up. It was everything that he had hoped for. He found it to be exciting, exhilarating and dangerous enough to get his pulse racing.

He then discovered that at 100 years and 3 days old, he was the UK’s oldest tandem skydiver from 10,000 feet. However, he also found out that a Canadian called Armand Gendreau, who was 101 years and three days old when he jumped out of a plane in 2013, was the world record holder.

Verdun wanted the world record and it gave him an excuse to do it again! So on a Sunday in May 2017, at 101 years and 38 days old, Verdun, in a canary yellow flying suit, strapped to professional skydiver Jason Farrant jumped out of a plane from 15,000 feet and secured the world record for the oldest person to do so.

He was joined in the jump by his doctor and nine members of his family including his 74 year old son, his 50 year old grandson and his great grand-daughter and great-grandson.

Verdun doesn’t see 101 as old. Whilst his family are extremely proud of his achievement, they are a little anxious about what he may do next. As far as he’s concerned his world is his oyster!

He follows a philosophy of “Live today as if it’s your last but plan your life as if you’ll live for ever.” He commented that “Life’s too short not to take a few risks.”

What an inspiration Verdun is to us all. I hope that you remember this story when you catch yourself saying that you can’t do a particular task, if you think about giving up on a dream or tell yourself that you are too old to do something.

When we are brave we grow, develop, learn and discover hidden depths and talents. If you have a dream that you’re not pursuing or if you wish things were different, feel stuck or you feel full of fear, remind yourself that if you change nothing, nothing will change.

If this is the case “Be Brave” and take some action to change things positively.

This week, take a moment to reflect and ask yourself:

What would I do today if I were really brave?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Happiness does not come from doing easy work but from the afterglow of satisfaction that comes after the achievement of a difficult task that demanded our best.” – Theodore Isaac Rubin.

Over the years I’ve come across many people who have resisted taking a leap of faith to something new despite being deeply unhappy with their current position. Some hated their jobs, others were bored with their career and some were unhappy in their relationship. Others felt that life was passing them by and were generally bored and stuck in a rut.

In such circumstances I ask people why they are putting up with a situation and something that isn’t bringing them happiness. I seek to get to the heart of what is stopping them from moving out of their comfort zone (or in some cases discomfort zone) and taking a leap of faith. Many respond by saying something along the lines of “better the devil you know” or that they are afraid of changing the status quo.

The main reasons that people stay stuck and procrastinate tend to be because of a strong sense of responsibility to others, fear of failure and the unknown. In many cases, people underestimate their capabilities. It’s quite common that people who have been in a job for a long time become institutionalized. They begin to think that they aren’t capable of doing something else.

I’ve seen many instances of people staying in a job that they detested because they didn’t have the confidence to do something else. However, some of them got made redundant and this forced them to take action. A fresh set of circumstances had been presented to them and they had to step up. It gave them the opportunity to do something new. In doing so, they found alternative employment that brought them greater satisfaction and fulfilment. They also discovered hidden strengths and talents.

As well as fear, limiting beliefs and negative thinking can get in our way and stop us being all that we can be. Our brains sometimes don’t help us positively, as they are designed to keep us safe and comfortable. On occasions they make us risk averse and encourage us to play safe.

Past setbacks and disappointments can keep us stuck in our comfort zone as we start to doubt our capabilities. It can mean that we don’t feel resourceful enough to cope with the demands of changed circumstances. We also can be fearful of repeating past mistakes.

Procrastination and the need for perfectionism can stop us fulfilling our potential. Many people worry about making the wrong decision. However, what’s more worrying is that some fail to make a decision and keep going over the same ground mentally. In doing this they expend lots of valuable time and energy.

We sometimes stick with what we know because we like to know in advance what the outcome of our decisions and choices will be. Unfortunately life doesn’t come with guarantees.

There is a famous phrase “that if you leap the net will appear” and this can inspire us to take a leap of faith when we’re contemplating change. If we listen to our hearts, have done our planning and know that the change is the right course of action for us, then a magic seems to happen.

It’s incredible that when we fully commit to action, believe in a positive outcome and set our mind to succeed, the world has a knack of conspiring to support us.

Doors begin to open and the right people and circumstances tend to show up at the right time to support us. It is also said that “when the student is ready the teacher appears.”

We can all learn something from artists who have to give up the need to know the outcome of a particular project when they start out and instead fully embrace the creative process and trust where it takes them. It’s a bit like viewing life as an adventure and enjoying the journey.

By staying in our comfort zone, we don’t discover our true self, our hidden depths and potential. We also fail to experience all that life has to offer. We can all remain in our comfort zone and spend time wishing and dreaming of a better life. Alternatively, we can take a leap into the unknown and create our own version of how we want our life to look.

It’s worth reminding ourselves when we feel stuck, that a ship in harbour is safe but that’s not what ships were built for.

If you feel like you are stuck in a rut and want to change things, start by making small adjustments to your daily routine. You can decide to visit new places and go to events that you wouldn’t normally go to. You can choose to read new books, watch different TV programmes or make a commitment to meet new people.

Break any big goals that you have into achievable baby steps so it’s easier to start and sustain effort. As I stated last week’s blog small consistent actions lead to outstanding results.

You may have a dream to visit a new country, write a book, change job, start a new business, begin a new hobby or learn a new skill. Whatever your particular dream is, remember that you are the artist of your own life, so use your thoughts wisely. Be very clear and intentional about the life that you wish to create. This will give you a clear sense of direction and purpose.

This week, why not take a few moments out to reflect and be honest with yourself. Consider if there is anything you may be resisting or if you are afraid to take a leap of faith. Ask yourself “What would I start if I knew that things would work out positively? Is there a step you can take this week to start to change something positively?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk