Month: September 2025 Page 1 of 2

“In the midst of our own daily struggles, it’s often hard to share an understanding for what another person might be going through.” Tyler Childers.

I had random conversations with two people on the same day recently. My natural interest in people and ability to build rapport, means that people quite often open up and quickly tell me their life story!

The first conversation with a lady that I didn’t know, stemmed from me asking her how her day was going. She told me that she wasn’t having a good day. When I asked her why, she told me that she hadn’t slept very well. The previous day had been hot and I remarked that it was difficult to sleep well when the temperature is hot. She explained that it wasn’t down to the temperature and was a common occurrence. She said that she has arthritis and that when she turns over in bed, she finds it painful. The resultant pain makes it difficult for her to get back to sleep. She explained that her sleep tends to be very interrupted, short in duration and leads to a constant feeling of tiredness.

The second conversation was with a man who I know a little. On the day I bumped into him, he was wearing a face mask. I asked him if he was ok and why he was wearing a mask. I was thinking that he may be suffering with a cold. He told me that he had a suppressed immune system and was vulnerable to infections. He explained that he was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer many years ago and he had started a course of chemotherapy in the hope that it puts the disease back into remission.

The two encounters revealed more to me than I was expecting. This got me thinking and led me to reflect. It triggered memories of my poor dad and how he bravely fought the horrible disease Multiple Sclerosis for over 30 years and for many of those years didn’t tell people he had the disease. This is because he didn’t want people feeling sorry for him and treating him differently.

in his later years, it seriously impacted his mobility and stopped him and my mother enjoying their retirement the way that they would have liked to. He suffered a great deal but he never complained and coped with his lot with good nature and grace. He was also very fortunate to be lovingly cared for, helped and supported selflessly by my mum. They were married for 65 years and last week they would have celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary.

The day gave me some very valuable reminders and insights. I concluded that we never really know what is going in people’s lives or have a great understanding of the challenges that they are having to deal with. It reminded me that you can gain a greater understanding if you have a genuine interest in people and their life.

It also served as a reminder that it’s so easy for us all to take good health for granted. It validated to me that it’s vital that we are grateful for good health. The ability to be able to move freely, do what we want and have nice experiences pain free is to be cherished. Not having to worry about illnesses and conditions that impact the ability to lead a normal life and earn a living is priceless.

My personal family experience of challenge and suffering gave me a great gift. It taught me to embrace opportunities that are presented, ensure that you have nice experiences, to make the most of life and always be grateful for good health and the gifts and talents you have been given.

I believe that it’s so important that we are kind and compassionate to all the people that we meet. With a little thought and good intention, we can all take more time to be present and gain a better understanding of where people are at in life. You never know what positive difference it could make to their life when they meet someone who takes the time to listen.

This week, why not pause for a few moments to reflect. Consider if there is anything that you take for granted and if there are things you can be more grateful for.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Focus on your potential instead of your limitations.” Alan Loy McGinnis.

Last week, I talked about coaching and some of the skills used by a coach. One of the results of effective coaching is that it helps people to discover hidden strengths and fulfil more of their potential.

It guides people to find the right answers and solutions to challenges they have. It also assists them to determine the actions they can take to accomplish their dreams and goals. Often the answers are right under someone’s nose but they can’t see the wood for the trees! Coaching provides them with clarity and a clear way forward.

A story I love about how answers can be close by, is one I came across many years ago which was told by Earl Nightingale. He was a great speaker and author and known as the ‘Dean of Personal Development.’

Earl Nightingale talked about a farmer who lived in Africa and became tremendously motivated about looking for diamonds. An abundance of diamonds had already been discovered on the African continent. The farmer got so excited about the idea of finding millions of pounds worth of diamonds, that he sold his farm to head out to the diamond line. He wandered all over the continent. Years slipped by as he constantly searched for diamonds and wealth, which he never found. Eventually he went completely broke and threw himself into a river and sadly drowned.

Meanwhile, the new owner of the farm picked up an unusual looking rock about the size of a country egg and put it on his mantle as a sort of curiosity. A visitor stopped by and started exploring the rock on the farmer’s mantle. The farmer was astounded to be told by the visitor that the funny looking rock was about the biggest diamond that had ever been found.

The new owner of the farm said, “the whole farm is covered with them”‘ and sure enough it was. Prior to going off in his search for diamonds, the original farmer was literally standing on ‘Acres of Diamonds’ until he sold his farm.

Earl Nightingale said that each of us is right in the middle of our own ‘Acre of Diamonds’ if only we would realize it and develop the ground we are standing on before charging off in search of greener pastures.

This week, why not pause for a few moments to reflect. Consider what habits or routines you need to change in order to improve your results and fulfil more of your potential.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Stephen R. Covey.

Last week was September 11 and marked the 24th anniversary of the awful 9/11 attacks on the United States. The day had added meaning for myself, as at 2pm on that day in 2001 (9am New York time), I facilitated my first coaching assignment with a client!

Since that first formal coaching session, a great source of enjoyment for me has been to help people to find hidden strengths and talents. I have found it fulfilling to see clients discover and use more of their potential.  I feel privileged to have had the opportunity to do work that I love and to support people to “be the best they can be.” It has always been hugely satisfying for me to observe people grow, develop and flourish.

When people start a personal coaching programme, it’s quite common for them to be quite self-critical and hard on themselves. Many of them talk about what they aren’t very good at and setbacks and disappointments they’ve experienced. Some play the comparison game, comparing their progress and results in life to others, such as old school friends, family members, colleagues, neighbours etc.

This way of being isn’t helped by the instant gratification society that we now live in. Lots of people feel a pressure to perform and compete influenced by the media they read and watch or the marketing messages they are bombarded with on a daily basis.

Some clients talk about what they don’t want and sometimes are unable to articulate what they do want. Some find it challenging to state or acknowledge what they have accomplished and achieved in life.

Deep down people know what they desire but haven’t always given themselves permission to pause, reflect, take stock and unearth the right answers for them. It’s not unusual for me to discover that some clients have been conditioned to believe that to do this would be too self-indulgent.

Some people have never been encouraged to “be the best they can be” or had access to the right support to stretch and challenge themselves. Over the years I’ve found that when clients do take the time to focus on their needs and desires, they find the process hugely rewarding. They get significant clarity and discover hidden gifts and treasures.

Although we may share some habits, beliefs and interests with other people, we’re all unique and have the choice and chance to write our own life scripts. We all have the opportunity to reduce pressure on ourselves when we quit comparing our results in life to that of others.

Instead, we can choose to review our progress against the goals and standards that we set for ourselves. I firmly believe that the right answers for our unique life experience rest inside all of us. However, to discover the right answers, occasionally we need to create some space to reflect and answer some key questions.

We have two ears and one mouth for a reason, as we learn more from listening than we do talking! A key skill of a coach is to actively listen. This is something I have honed and developed over the past 24 years. When I do this, I create a safe space for people to talk, without fear of judgement. This helps people to feel heard, respected and understood and this helps to develop trust.

This week, why not pause for a few moments to reflect. Consider if there are some situations or relationships where you need to talk less and listen more.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk