Month: January 2021 Page 1 of 2

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.” Jim Rohn.

Historically, the start of each year is a time for people to set goals and resolutions for the year ahead. Have you devised some clear goals and targets for 2021? How are you doing with your personal goals and aspirations for this year? It might be that you set out with good intentions but you have decided to give up already!

At the start of each year, many people resolve to get healthier, exercise more or lose weight etc. Other goals tend to be to save more money or spend less, learn a new skill, quit smoking, find a new job, read more, drink less alcohol, spend more time with family and friends etc.

Previously I did some research on the topic and here is a flavour of what I discovered: –

• A ComRes poll for BUPA suggested 32% of Britons make a New Year resolution.
• It’s estimated that in excess of 40 % of Americans make resolutions. Research by The University of Scranton suggests just 8% of people achieve their New Year’s goals.
• A You Gov poll claimed 35% of people in the UK planned to lose weight, 33% wanted to get fitter and 31% wanted to eat more healthily. Other top goals included seeing more of friends and family (14%) or getting a better work-life balance (12%).
• In the ComRes poll 41% admitted to breaking their last resolution, 63% of respondents admitted to having broken one in the past and the majority of these (66%) admitted to doing so within just one month.

People failing to follow through on their intentions can be put down to a variety of factors. It could be a lack of self-discipline, putting others needs before their own, procrastination, not getting clear on the motivation for the goal or spending insufficient time planning their approach.

Another reason that people don’t stick to their resolutions is that they have too many. Sometimes less is more!

A step-by-step approach to changing your lifestyle can be effective. One way to do this is to decide to master one behavioural change before you move onto another. This helps with focus and means that you don’t have to seek to make a whole lot of changes all at once.

This approach ties in with the view that it takes 21 days to break a habit and between 25 and 28 days to create a new one.

So, with the above in mind and in an effort to help you to be one of the 8 % of people who achieve their personal goals in 2021, I suggest that you adopt a different approach to New Year resolutions this year.

How about viewing 2021 as a one-year transformation? Your life can be transformed one month at a time. You can do this by having different monthly resolutions. You can decide at the start of each month what you would like to focus on that month in an effort to upgrade your life.

I suggest that you only take on a new monthly resolution if you feel you have successfully mastered and integrated new behaviours and habits from the previous month. Imagine how your life will be transformed in a years’ time if you commit and successfully follow through on this new approach to resolutions.

This week why not take some time out to reflect and consider if monthly resolutions will work for you. If so, decide what your first area of focus will be.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Is there anyone so wise as to learn by the experience of others?” Voltaire.

Given the Coronavirus pandemic that has swept the world and all the challenges it has brought, it’s great to see that the vaccination programme has started to be rolled out here in the UK. It’s a small chink of light at the end of a very long dark tunnel.

At the time of writing this, over 3 million people in the UK have received a vaccine. It’s really good that along with our health and care workers, our elderly people are amongst the first to receive it. The elderly members of our society possess so much wisdom and we can learn so much from them.

Wisdom is a quality that grows over time. It’s shaped and developed through life’s experiences both positive and negative. It’s the quality of having valuable experience, knowledge and good judgement. The trials and errors that we encounter on our life journey together with the insights we gain from having new adventures, meeting new people and our interactions and relationships with others help to build it.

Wisdom differs from knowledge as it’s the ability to discern what’s true or right for us. It rests insides us and is the quiet inner voice. If we choose to tune in, it offers us guidance on the best direction or course of action for us to take. It helps us to focus on things of real worth rather than the trivial.

We’re all fortunate to be able to tap into the wisdom of older people if we wish to. It’s sad that sometimes society doesn’t fully value and respect the knowledge and experience of older people. It’s too easy for people to be unfairly labelled “past their sell by date.”

On occasions, businesses take the decision to part company with older long serving employees and bring in young blood. In doing so, they subtly demonstrate that they prefer youth over experience. On this theme, there have been some high-profile legal cases in recent years involving television personalities who claimed that they were the victims of ageism when losing their television roles.

As with everything in life, we need a balance in society between the energy and enthusiasm of young people and the wisdom and experience of older people. When blended together effectively, working harmoniously and collaboratively, the combination of young and old in a team is very powerful.

I’ve detailed below some wisdom from old people that I found when doing some research for my book Just Be, which I wrote and published a few years ago:

• The most important person in your life is the person who agreed to share their life with you. Treat them as such.
• Stuff is just stuff. Don’t hold onto material objects; hold onto time and experiences instead.
• People always say “Make sure you get a job doing what you love!’’ But that isn’t the best advice. The right job is the job you love some days, can tolerate most days, and still pays the bills. Almost nobody has a job they love every day.
• If you’re getting overwhelmed by life, just return to the immediate present moment and savour all that is beautiful and comforting. Take a deep breath and relax.
• Don’t take life too seriously. Even if things seem dark and hopeless, try to laugh at how ridiculous life is.
• A true friend will come running if you call them at 2am. Everyone else is just an acquaintance.
• Nobody ever dies wishing they had worked more. Work hard, but don’t prioritize work over family, friends or even yourself.
• Don’t take anyone else’s advice as gospel. You can ask for advice from someone you respect, then take your situation into consideration and make your own decision. Essentially, take your own advice is my advice.
• The joints you damage today will get their revenge later. Even if you think they’ve recovered completely. Trust me!
• We have one time on this earth. Don’t wake up and realize that you are 60 years old and haven’t done the things you dreamed about.
• Appreciate the small things and be present in the moment. It seems today like younger people are all about immediate gratification. Instead, why not decide to appreciate every small moment.
• We don’t get to stay on this crazy/wonderful planet forever and the greatest pleasure can be found in the most mundane of activities. Instead of sending a text, pick up the phone and call someone. Call your mother, have a conversation about nothing in particular. Those are the moments to hold onto.

This week, why not take a few moments to pause and reflect to consider what is the best piece of wisdom that you have learned in your life. How can you use this to help others?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.” Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.

During some reflection time last week, I was reminded of a valuable life lesson I gained in 2006 which had a connection to Multiple Sclerosis. Sadly, my father suffered from this awful disease for over 36 years prior to his death at the end of last year.

Following concerns over potential terrorist attacks, restrictions were introduced in August 2006 regarding hand luggage on planes. This particularly related to Trans-Atlantic journeys.

When the measures were introduced, I was in California, USA at a training event. I remember feeling a little anxious about having to fly home in an atmosphere of heightened fear particularly after what had happened in America previously with the 9/11 attacks.

In order to return home, I had to catch a flight from John Wayne International airport, Orange County to Chicago and then catch a flight to London Heathrow.

I remember arriving at the departure lounge and it was absolutely packed. There were no spare seats in the lounge near my departure gate. It was a beautiful sunny day with a clear azure sky. The lounge had a fantastic view of the runway and the planes waiting on the tarmac at the various departure gates. I perched on a ledge and phoned home to speak to my wife.

After I’d finished my conversation, a man beckoned for me to sit next to him on a seat that had become vacant. After a brief hello, we didn’t exchange any further words. We both read our respective books. I had to drink a one litre bottle of water as I learned that I wouldn’t be allowed to take liquids onto the flight because of the enhanced security measures.

When It got close to the time to board the flight, I realised because of all the water I had consumed I would need to have a comfort break! A long walk ensued to find some facilities. When I returned, passengers were boarding my plane and there were just a few people in front of me left to board.

Once on the plane I was astonished to find that I was sitting next to the man who had beckoned for me to sit next to him earlier! I wondered what the chances of that happening were. We were in a row of three seats and the seat on my right side was empty for the duration of the four and half hour flight.

The gentleman was in his late fifties. He looked tired and his face was weathered. It appeared that he had been through a stressful period. During the flight he started a conversation by offering me a sandwich which I declined. He told me that he had been to a gynaecology conference as he was a Consultant Gynaecologist.

He said that he had moved to the USA from Iran 20 years previously. It had been difficult for him to be accepted by some people because of his nationality and he’d had a particularly difficult time since the 9/11 attacks. He was concerned that the current hysteria over plane safety would make it challenging for him again.

During the flight he told me that his life was very busy. He had been through a divorce and was no longer married. He said that a very good friend of his who suffered from Multiple Sclerosis had died recently and was only in his fifties.

I asked him what the challenges he has experienced (particularly after his friend’s recent death) had taught him. His reply was simple but very powerful. His response was:

“Every day is a gift. Make the most of every day, don’t look back in anger and have no regrets. Be kind when you can be.”

It was a very special conversation. Time seemed to stand still and my fear about the flight dissipated as I was so engaged in what we were talking about.

It’s amazing how things and people show up when you need them to. It was the right conversation, at the right moment.

The gentleman’s wisdom taught me so much and has stuck with me and helped shaped my philosophy in life. Despite the hostility he had experienced because of where he was born he was still able to be kind and show compassion and empathy towards others. That really impressed me about him.

I had very little time when we arrived in Chicago to catch my connecting flight and wasn’t sure of the layout of the airport. I also had some gifts that I’d bought in the airport. Under the special measures I wasn’t supposed to take these onto the connecting flight.

He walked his talk regarding kindness. Knowing that I had limited time and also had the problem with the gifts, he walked me to the gate for international departures. He spoke to the check in staff. He persuaded them to make arrangements for me to take the gifts onto the flight!

The attendant asked for my passport, I said thank you to the gentleman. Once the check in lady had taken my boarding card, I turned around to say goodbye to the gentleman. However, he had disappeared. He had dashed off to catch his own connecting flight and I couldn’t see him anywhere.

He was a stranger who I’ve not spoken to since and probably never will. He showed great kindness and helped me when I needed it. This chance encounter taught me so much and I’ve never forgotten the wisdom that I gained from the conversation and his kind actions.

This week, why not take a few moments to reflect and consider what insights and lessons you have learned from challenges in your life. What wisdom would you pass on to someone if they asked you what tough times had taught you?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk