Month: November 2025 Page 1 of 2

Last week, I celebrated my 60^th birthday and therefore in this week’s blog, I thought I would do something slightly different to the usual format. When I turned 50, I compiled a list of 50 insights, favourite quotations and pieces of wisdom that I had gained over the years. To mark the latest milestone, I have added to the original list, which I have included later in the blog.

When I started compiling the revised list, naturally I reflected on the past 10 years. In common with most people’s lives there have been lots of high points and some lows too. There have been periods of great joy, some sadness and challenges.

The main things I took from the reflection were:

• The ten years passed by extremely quickly. This re-affirmed to me the importance of making the most of each day.
• I have had a few health scares. I had sinus surgery twice and also a procedure to remove stomach polyps, which were benign. Thankfully all is ok now. It was a reminder that good health is the real wealth in life and shouldn’t be taken for granted.
• I’ve compiled 520 weekly blogs in the period and have published 617 in total since I started writing them in January 2014. A blog has been posted on the website every week on a Monday. I haven’t missed a week in that period. It proves you can accomplish what you set your mind to do if you have focus, purpose, discipline and enjoy what you do
• I have written and published two books. I had a lifetime ambition to write a book and I’m proud to have achieved this. It affirms that you can achieve anything if you put your mind to it and don’t give up until you reach your goal!
• Along with everyone else I discovered what it is like to live through a global pandemic. The Covid period was very challenging for everyone. Unfortunately, so many people lost their lives (some were far too young and died without being able to see their family for a final time). It had a very negative impact on the economy. We weren’t able to spend time with family and friends. It was surreal to have businesses shutdown and having to queue at the local supermarket. We had to wear masks in public, constantly apply hand sanitiser and weren’t allowed to shake hands or hug each other.
• Sadly, I lost both my parents in an eleven-month period. They had been married for 65 years. They were a great examples of love, partnership and commitment. A reminder to value your parents and truly appreciate them whilst they are alive. I miss them but I am grateful for all the unconditional love and encouragement they gave me during their lives.
• My wife Julia and I celebrated 25 years of marriage and I continually count my blessings for the constant love and support I receive and that I have someone special to share life with. We are very fortunate to have had some lovely holidays, day trips to beautiful gardens, areas of outstanding beauty and to the coast. We have attended many live concerts and performances. The highlights of which are Bryan Adams, Bruce Springsteen, The Eagles, Bon Jovi, Elton John, Lionel Richie, The Script, Texas, Pet Shop Boys and Abba Voyage.
• I’ve seen the football team I have supported since I was 9 years old (Peterborough United) win two trophies at Wembley Stadium and achieve promotion to the Championship. On the flipside, I have also seen them get relegated from the same league!

 
My revised compilation of insights, pieces of wisdom and favourite quotations is shared below. I hope that you enjoy reading them and that they help you to think about your own insights and lessons.

1. Small actions applied consistently lead to outstanding results.
2. Life is short, embrace every opportunity that is presented to you.
3. Make room for fun and laughter in your life.
4. Clarity is power, the clearer you are about what you want, the quicker your brain can figure out a way to get there.
5. “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” Leonardo Da Vinci.
6. Live now, procrastinate later.
7. In a world where it is possible to be anything, the most important thing is to be yourself.
8. There are no pockets in a shroud.
9. You are the conductor of your life. Take 100 % responsibility for your choices and results.
10. “The purpose of life is simple…to be happy.” Dalai Lama.
11. Failure only happens when your heart stops. There is no failure only feedback and lessons learned.
12. It’s nice to be important but it is more important to be nice.
13. It’s sad that many people can’t list their strengths but can identify their weaknesses and limitations very easily!
14. You miss all the shots that you don’t take. Be prepared to take risks.
15. “To keep a lamp burning you have to put oil in it.” Mother Teresa.
16. Life is a series of hills and valleys. It is important to spend time celebrating and appreciating the view from the hill.
17. Never forget that every day is a gift.
18. Learn to listen to and trust your intuition.
19. Regularly review what/who gives you energy and what/who drains your energy. Adjust your life appropriately based on what conclusions you draw.
20. “Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.
21. When faced with a challenge, remind yourself that “this too will pass.”
22. Attitudes like flu are contagious! Adopt an attitude that people are happy to catch!
23. Life is fragile and it can change significantly in a heartbeat. Cherish it and never take it for granted.
24. Many people spend their life looking in the rear-view mirror or thinking about the future, without really enjoying the present moment.
25. “If we did all the things, we are capable of doing we would literally astound ourselves.” Thomas Edison.
26. Before you help someone with their oxygen mask, ensure that yours is fitted properly. You can’t help others without oxygen and energy.
27. The value of good health should not be under estimated.
28. You can use lots of energy worrying about things that never happen.
29. Some of the best and richest experiences in life don’t cost any money.
30. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a closed room with a mosquito.” African proverb.
31. Random acts of kindness can be very valuable and have a huge positive impact on a person’s life.
32. It takes less energy to smile than frown!
33. A ship in harbour is safe but that is not what ships were built for. Have the courage to explore, try new things, visit new places and meet new people.
34. All that glitters is not gold.
35. “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Howard Thurman.
36. It is never too late to do something new.
37. Richness and abundance are so much more than your investments and bank balance.
38. Everyone has great gifts and treasure buried inside them waiting to be discovered.
39. The best lives are lived from the inside out.
40. “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Eleanor Roosevelt.
41. Always make time to tell the important people in your life that you love them.
42. When you are wrong, admit it and say sorry.
43. When you point the finger of blame at others, remember that 4 are pointing back at yourself.
44. The best influencers in life listen more than talk.
45. “Attitude is a small thing that makes a big difference.” Sir Winston Churchill.
46. Everybody wants to feel valued and important.
47. Thorough preparation is an essential ingredient of quality results and service.
48. Be true to yourself always.
49. The mind is so powerful. It has the ability to create a heaven of hell or a hell of heaven.
50. “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams, live the life you have imagined.” Henry David Thoreau.
51. A health scare gives you a different perspective on life.
52. You can’t control all the events that happen in your life but you can always choose how to respond to them. A positive response is likely to achieve a more positive outcome.
53. If you always look for perfection, you will always be empty handed. Things don’t have to be perfect to be special. Strive for excellence rather than perfection.
54. Appreciate your parents whilst they are alive. You miss them when they are gone.
55. When you quieten your mind, the wisdom of your soul can emerge.
56. Sometimes the small decisions you take will have the biggest impact in years to come.
57. You can do achieve anything, as long as you have focus, drive, discipline, commitment and support.
58. “The choices we make today, shape the people we become tomorrow.” Victoria Osteen.
59. “Life is all about choices. Some we regret, some we are proud of. Some will haunt us forever. The message: We are what we choose to be.” Graham Brown.
60. “No amount of worry will ever change tomorrow.” Johnnie Walker.

 
To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“If you have positive energy, you will always attract positive outcomes.” Steve Backley.

In last week’s blog I highlighted the impact that people and activities can have on our mood and energy levels. Whilst doing some research for that piece I came across the word “doomscrolling.” This was a concept that I wasn’t familiar with and links to the previous blog.

Apparently, this is the act of spending an excessive amount of time reading or watching large quantities of user-generated content or news, particularly negative news, on the web and social media.

In 2019, a study by the National Academy of Sciences in the USA found that doomscrolling can be linked to a decline in mental and physical health.

Whilst looking into it further I came across some useful tips on practical ways to manage Doomscrolling on mentalhealth.org.uk. I have listed these below: –

Turn off push notifications

Turning off instant alerts for social media or news apps can give you a break from anxiety-provoking information. This is easy to do; simply go to your phone settings and choose which apps you want to get alerts from and which ones you don’t.

Use a watch or an alarm clock

If you often doomscroll in bed, it may be because your phone doubles as your alarm clock. Switching to using a watch or a physical alarm clock may help. This way, you can leave your phone in a different room and break the habit of absorbing negative information that could affect your sleep.

Manage your social media feeds

Your social media feed is like having a personalised newspaper, you get to decide what content you see. You could make changes to what appears on your feed by blocking or hiding certain profiles, allowing you to limit the negative content you are exposed to.

Set a time limit

Setting a time limit on your scrolling can help, as long as you stick to it. For instance, you could try setting an alarm to restrict time spent on news apps. Or try limiting your scrolling to the time it takes to make a cup of tea. Find something that gives you a gentle signal that it’s time to put the phone down.

Consider phone-free zones

If you find yourself regularly doomscrolling in certain places, creating a “no-phone zone” may help you reduce your time spent online. For example, if you use the phone at mealtimes or in bed, you could consider making the bedroom or dining area a phone-free zone. You’re allowed to have quality time that isn’t interrupted by notifications every few minutes.

Balance the negative with a positive

For every doomscrolling session you have, you could choose to balance it out by doing something positive for your emotional health. Mindfulness, reading, spending time with others and exercising are all great self-care activities that can benefit your wellbeing.

This week, why not pause for a few moments to reflect. Consider how much time you spend doomscrolling and if you need to make any adjustments.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“To keep a lamp burning, we have to put oil in it.” Mother Theresa.

Following the change of clocks in the UK a few weeks ago, my sleep was quite disrupted for a week or so. This left me feeling a bit more tired than usual.

This was a good reminder to me that we have all have a finite amount of time and energy and it’s important we use it wisely. It’s helpful to think that energy is like money. It’s vital that we don’t fritter it away, that we invest/spend it sensibly and look for ways that increase our return on investment.

As I’ve got older, I’ve become more discerning about how I invest my energy and who I spend time with. In my book Be First Class, I featured a theory about two types of people that affect our energy levels in very different ways.

The two types of people are drains or radiators.

The drains or empire vampires (as they are also known) are perennial moaners and negative people. You’ve probably come across this type of person yourself. They believe that “every silver lining has a cloud” and refer to their problems constantly. They don’t look for solutions. Often, they have much to be grateful for but don’t recognise this.

Drains choose to think about what they lack rather than the abundance they have. When you ask them how they are, they hunch their shoulders and say something like “fair to grim.” I refer to them as drains or energy vampires because they suck the life out of you with their negativity and stories of how unfair life is!

Conversely, radiators are positive people and they give off a positive vibe. They have a “can do” attitude and are solutions orientated people. I call them radiators because they are full of warmth, radiance and brightness. They have a glow about them and make those around them feel good.

Radiators have zest, vitality and make the most of the hand that life has dealt them. When you ask them how they are, they look you in the eye; they smile and say something positive and uplifting. They have a sense of gratitude and appreciation for what they have in life.

On many occasions, I have recommended to clients that they complete an exercise to identify the drains and radiators in their life. The exercise involves taking a piece of A4 paper and drawing a line down the centre. On the left-hand side, I suggest that they draw a positive sign and on the right-hand side a negative sign.

Having done this I suggest that they ask themselves the question, “What people/activities give me energy?” Their responses are noted under the positive sign.

Then I suggest they ask, “What people/activities drain my energy?” Responses to this question are put underneath the negative sign.

Once completed, the results can be reviewed and the client can decide if they wish to make any changes to the way they spend their time and who they spend it with.

If I’m around negative people for too long it has a real impact on my energy levels. My body starts to feel heavy; I feel tired and drained. The opposite happens when I’m around positive people. I feel lighter, energised and happier.

More frequently I’m giving negative people a wide berth and avoiding negative environments. I recommend that you do the same and invest your energy wisely in the same way that you would be careful where you invested a financial windfall!

This week, why not take a few moments out to pause and reflect on the following questions:        

• What people/activities energise you?
• What activities/people drain you?
• What changes do you need to make to how you spend your time?
• What changes do you need to make to who you spend your time with?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk