Month: August 2022 Page 1 of 2

“Surprise is the greatest gift which life can grant us.” Boris Pasternak.

I’ve always been fascinated by stories about synchronicity and coincidences. We don’t have to know what coincidences mean, to appreciate them, or gain a great insight when we encounter them. However, they play a vital role in that they remind us to maintain a sense of wonder, to be fully present in the moment and open to life’s mystery.

There’s a lovely short story about coincidence by Cathy Free which appeared in The Washington Post about Tia Wimbush and Susan Ellis. The two women had been co-workers for years but didn’t know each other particularly well. Chatting in the bathroom one day, they learned that each of their husbands was waiting on a kidney transplant. Turns out that each woman was a match for the other’s husband.

Four surgeries, all successful, soon followed. “It’s really just a story about simple kindness,” Ellis said. “For us, the kindness came in conversation and in reaching out to a colleague. It started with two people just being good humans. Now we’d like to tell people they can do the same.” It’s also a story about the power of coincidences and synchronicity.

Synchronicity is defined in the dictionary as “the simultaneous occurrence of events which appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection.”

Some people refer to it as serendipity. There is a film with that title starring John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale which is often shown at Christmas. It’s set in New York, contains many joyful and beneficial chance events and has a happy ending.

I believe that we need to leave some room in our life for surprises and opportunities. I can recall countless situations that people have described to me concerning unexpected events and situations that were positive. In many cases they were exactly what they needed at that point in time.

When we pursue goals, projects, hobbies and interests with passion, we create positive energy and some unexpected magic can occur.  If we do what we’re passionate about and clearly state when we need some support to progress, quite often the right people/resources will show up at the right time to help us.

It’s therefore important to always leave space in our life for the universe to work its magic.

This week, why not take some time out to reflect and consider if you are dedicating enough time to things that you are passionate about or make you happy.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“If you think you’re too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a closed room with a mosquito.” African proverb.

In life, there’s often a small difference between winning and losing, success and failure, hitting or missing a target, securing a victory in a poll. I’m sure that you can think of countless examples from your own life experiences where a tiny amount of additional effort changed the course of events.

It maybe the extra half an hour that you spent revising for a test or exam rather than watching TV got you the extra marks to help you to pass or get a better grade. You may have put in extra time when learning to drive to revise your highway code. This may have helped you answer a question in your theory test and led you to pass your driving test. If you play sport, for example golf, the extra practice time on your putting may have clinched you a victory in your local club’s championship event.

An extra hour preparing for an important customer meeting may have enabled you to be prepared for a question you were asked and helped to clinch the deal. One final phone call or e mail to a prospective customer may have secured a meeting which led to a large project being sold and, in the process, securing a valuable long term customer relationship.

As I said earlier, tiny margins make all the difference and can determine the outcome of a situation.  We all sometimes mistakenly think that we have to keep taking massive action to get a result.  The fact is that small incremental steps towards a goal accumulate into massive progress when applied consistently.

One action per day applied every day of the year, towards a specific goal amount to 365 separate actions and somehow this seems bigger when you look at it like that! Fifteen minutes of focus every day amounts to over 90 hours in a year. if you have an ambition to publish a book and write one page every weekday (giving yourself a break at the weekend) after one year you would have written a 260-page book!

This week’s quotation is a reminder to always keep in mind the power of small!  A small action is better than no action because nothing is achieved without some sort of action! It could be that 1% extra time; focus or effort will bring outstanding results in your life. It could bring the breakthrough that you are looking for in your career, relationships, goals, hobby or projects.

Why not take a few moments this week to pause and reflect and ask yourself where you could apply one per cent additional focus, time or effort. What impact could this have on your life and results? What will be your first action step?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“I try to be grateful for the abundance of the blessings that I have, for the journey that I’m on and to relish each day as a gift.” James McGreevey.

Tuning into news bulletins can be quite a negative and depressing experience at the moment. It can have quite a detrimental effect on your energy and mood if you allow it to.

Some the things reported recently (many in one bulletin) included a report on the ongoing conflict in Ukraine, growing tension between China and Taiwan and strikes by rail and telecommunication workers. Also featured were the increase in inflation, the effects of the cost-of-living crisis (as it’s been labelled by the media), the spiralling cost of energy, potential water, energy and food shortages.

There was a feature about water companies poor record in fixing leaks, which result in millions of litres of water being wasted each year at a time when droughts are being discussed. There were items on the current high temperatures and the risk from wild fires. There were reports about disagreements between the two people vying to be UK Prime Minister and also record profits reported by energy companies! As I said earlier, listening to news bulletins can be a negative experience.

Many of the things that I’ve mentioned above are outside of my sphere of control and influence. All I can do is focus on the things I can control which includes the attitude and mindset that I adopt. Presently, I’m consciously thinking in an abundant way and appreciating all that I have in life and the resources available to me at present. When we think in an abundant way, life takes on another meaning and has a different look and feel to it.

In life we have a choice about where we put our attention. We can focus on our weaknesses, our limitations, lack of opportunities and what’s missing in our life. We can have a lack of appreciation for our material possessions and what we’ve earned. This can be combined with not fully appreciating the people in our life and what they bring to us.

In contrast we can choose to focus our time and mind in an abundant way and appreciate all that we have including our possessions and the contributions people make to enrich our life.

We can have gratitude for our natural strengths and talents, the opportunities and all the experiences that we have had and continue to have. In this state we will view any challenges we’ve encountered as a lesson or insight instead of a chance to see ourselves as a victim.

The mindset we choose to adopt will have an impact on our body and energy. When we think abundantly, we feel more optimistic and this helps us to feel lighter and more energised. As a result, we’re more likely to attract positive circumstances as our self-talk will be more empowering and drive positive behaviours which help to create great results.

Conversely, a scarcity mindset will have a negative impact on our mood and energy levels. Our bodies will feel heavy; our self-talk will be negative and create dis-empowering behaviours and poor results. This kind of mindset can be a self-fulfilling prophecy and create more results that reinforce a feeling of lack.

Thinking in an abundant way contributes to a feeling of security. It helps us to feel confident and have high self-worth levels. As a result, we feel secure when interacting with others. We form positive relationships, where we look to be collaborative rather than overly competitive and create “win/win” scenarios.

In contrast when we have feelings of lack, we may have difficulty sharing credit or recognising the contribution of others. The scarcity mentality is limiting and may mean that too much time and energy is wasted on conflict, negative thinking and repressing creativity. On the other hand, the abundant mentality is fearless; it’s free and immune to criticism.

In order to feel abundant, we need to get better at noticing and recognising what’s available to us in terms of opportunities, resources and choices. We aren’t wired to notice things or be particularly observant.

This was shown to be the case in a 1999 Harvard University study where they showed people a video of people passing a basketball around. Participants were asked to count the number of times the ball was passed, which sounds like a simple enough task.

After watching the video, the participants were asked if they had noticed anything unusual. More than half of them didn’t have a clue what the researchers were talking about. They had missed the fact that a person dressed as a gorilla had walked onto the court beat its chest and walked off.

This research shows that the mind sees what we tell it to see. In the experiment the brain was tasked with counting the number of passes not spotting a gorilla!

It doesn’t make us stupid if we fail to notice things, it just depends on what our brain has been primed to see.  If we focus on scarcity, we will find evidence to support this. If we want to notice abundance, we will find it.

In life, we get what we look for! What we choose to focus on grows.

This week, why not take a few moments to reflect and think about what mindset you adopt the majority of the time.  Consider if you spend sufficient time thinking in an abundant way and notice things to appreciate. 

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk