Month: September 2020 Page 1 of 2

 “The only real valuable thing is intuition.” Albert Einstein.

Over the years I’ve developed the courage to listen to and trust my instincts. Through doing this, I’ve discovered first-hand the power and value of our intuition or gut feelings (as it’s quite often described).

It’s very easy for our minds to get overloaded with all the information we have to process, analyse and assimilate. There are so many forms of technology battling to get our attention and focus.

Using our minds to think through issues logically and to formulate plans and strategies to meet goals and challenges is a great skill to have. However, if we over use this trait and over think situations it can be counterproductive. It can lead us to tie ourselves in knots and lose focus and efficiency. As a result, we can put off making decisions and procrastinate on issues.

Having a busy mind, full of information and mental chatter can prevent us from being able to hear the quiet, subtle and powerful messages provided by our inner guidance system or intuition. Often this inner knowing can be as gentle as a feather touch. Intuition can be described as the ability to understand something instinctively without the need for conscious reasoning.

Lynn Robinson in her excellent book ‘Trust Your Gut’ mentions various business people, scientists and philosophers who have proclaimed the importance of intuition. Here are a few examples: –

Jonas Salk, the developer of the Polio vaccine, wrote “The intuitive mind tells the logical mind where to look next.”

Warren Bennis, author of books on leadership, change and management calls intuition his “Inner voice” and says that listening to and trusting it is one of the most important leadership lessons he learned.

Richard Branson, the entrepreneurial founder of the Virgin Group stated “I rely far more on gut instinct than researching huge amounts of statistics.”

Clothing designer Donna Karan said “One of our greatest gifts is our intuition. It’s a sixth sense we all have and we just need to learn to tap into and trust it.”

Buckminster Fuller, the futurist, architect and inventor with 28 patents to his name was a big believer in using the power of inner wisdom to create an extraordinary life. He said “Intuition often turns dreams into demonstrable fact.”

Lynn Robinson provides two schools of thought about the origins of intuition. Firstly, synthesis of prior knowledge, which she explains as blend of logic, experience and subconscious information that’s stored in your mind and recalled when needed. Secondly, a higher power-divine intelligence which she says is “A compass of the soul” that guides informs and directs you towards success.

There are plenty of situations when it’s important to listen to your intuition, for example, when there’s insufficient data, too much information, conflicting data or when you need to make a quick decision.

Intuition is a resource that if it’s nurtured can create a calmer, focused and more productive way of being.

Here are some ideas to help you develop the ability to hear and trust the messages from your intuition more often:

Quieten your mind – It’s vital that you reduce the amount of mental chatter and activity so that you can hear the subtle and quiet intuitive messages. Meditation and mindfulness techniques help with this.

Ask your intuition for help – When faced with a challenge ask for guidance from your intuition with a specific question. Let the question sit and then record any suggestions or action steps in a notebook. You can check the accuracy of your insights. This will help you to build confidence to trust your inner voice.

Notice physical reactions in your body –Instincts, hunches and intuition tend to give a physical feeling in your body. Tune into this by noticing when you have a good or uncomfortable feeling. Ask yourself what your body is trying to tell you about a decision you have to make or a challenge or opportunity that you have to consider.

Take regular breaks from your routine – When your mind is full it’s vital that you take a break from your normal routine and create some space. Go for a walk outdoors in nature or do some form of exercise. A walk in a forest or by the sea will calm the mind. New and creative ideas seem to flow from time spent in this way.

This week, why not pause and reflect and consider what action steps you can take to quieten your mind.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”
–  George Bernard Shaw.

Over the years, I’ve coached a few people who’ve conceded that when they get busy and stressed, they can become very single minded. They admit that they become inflexible in their approach in pursuing some goals. As a result, they stick rigidly to their ideas and plans.

For those people that are too inflexible in their dealings, this can have a detrimental impact on their relationships with others. It can also make them lose perspective and their vision can become very tunnelled. This can mean that on some occasions they stop listening to the valuable input and ideas of others. They can become defensive and this too has a negative impact on their relationships, with people distancing themselves and giving them a wide berth!

Sadly, some people find it challenging to show their vulnerability and admit that they made have made a mistake. Often this can be traced back to their upbringing and conditioning. Clients have told me of instances where they have got so caught up in a goal that they have been unwilling to let go of it. They have admitted that even when they have known deep down that their plans weren’t working, they haven’t tried something new. This came down to a need to be seen to be right.

The following story illustrates what can happen when we are too rigid in our thinking. It also demonstrates how having a willingness to change direction can be beneficial.

On a dark and foggy night in the midst of a stormy sea, the captain of a ship spotted what seemed to be the light from another ship in the distance. He quickly went to his station and flashed a message across the water, “Change your course twenty degrees north.” No sooner had he done this than a reply flashed back, “Change your course twenty degrees south.” The captain became angry and flashed back, “I am captain and a commander in the naval forces, and I say change your course twenty degrees north.” The responding message was signalled back, “I am a seaman first class with no commander, and I say change your course twenty degrees south.” This infuriated the captain who now signalled, “I am a battleship, and I say change your course twenty degrees north.” There was a brief pause as the angry captain awaited the reply. Finally, the response came, “I say change your course twenty degrees south, I am a lighthouse!”

If ever you catch yourself being too rigid in your approach bring the metaphor of the battleship and the lighthouse to mind. Remind yourself of the consequences of being inflexible.

In my experience people that are too inflexible show signs of being discontented and unhappy. It can also lead to them feeling anxious and overwhelmed.

The people with the most flexible approach to goals, relationships and life in general, tend to be happier and more contented.

They also enjoy a greater connection with others. This enables them to make the most of life and fulfil more of their potential.

This week have a think about if you need to change your plans and approach to a particular goal or project that you are pursuing. What would be the benefit of doing so and what motivates you to make a change? You may like to seek the views and input of others and think about in terms of:

• What’s working?
• What not quite working yet?
• What needs to change?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“It’s nice to be important but it’s more important to be nice”.  – Author unknown.

On a recent visit to a local shop, I saw one of the Managers speak to a member of staff in an unpleasant and aggressive way. I couldn’t help thinking that the manager’s manner and approach would cause the staff member to become defensive.

As a result, I didn’t think they would get the best out of their team member. The manager came across as arrogant and full of self-importance. To be honest, it was a bit unedifying. I thought to myself “it doesn’t cost anything to be pleasant and nice to a fellow human being.”

A few years back I was running a development workshop for a leadership team of a professional services firm. As part of the session, I asked each participant to outline the profile and characteristics of their ideal customer. Each took a turn to articulate their thoughts and I recorded their responses on a flipchart. They referred to the type of industries and sectors that these customers operate in, the level of turnover and the personality types of the leaders and key people.

The final person to offer their view was the boss. I asked the question “What does your ideal customer look like?” His response was short and sweet but nonetheless powerful. “I only want to deal with nice people who value and appreciate the service that the team and I provide; I have no desire to deal with difficult and complaining people”.

There were many nods of agreement and it gave clarity on what they would like to attract as far as new customers are concerned and also set a great tone in terms how they were to be in their dealings.

I have come across the type of difficult people that he referred to and I am sure you have too. They are hard to please, unreasonable in their dealings and with their demands, always complaining, arrogant, aggressive, rude and obnoxious. They tend to know the price of everything and the value of nothing!

The above reminded me of article by the best-selling author Robin Sharma which I read once. In the article, Robin referred to a recent ski-ing trip and how one morning he witnessed some inappropriate and nasty behaviour.

A woman, who was clearly a beginner, was having trouble getting onto the chairlift. She was with her son and just couldn’t get the hang of it. She looked embarrassed and a little beaten. There was a group of men behind her who were seasoned skiers and they started ridiculing the lady. They called her an amateur and made fun of her attire. Saying things like “hey, take your time, we have nothing else to do”.

Robin was appalled by their rudeness, insensitivity and lack of compassion for a lady that clearly needed help. He said that he could not believe the bad manners, lack of decency and mean behaviour he witnessed. He said the scene stayed with him for two days and got him thinking about the good and not so great in the world right now.

The episode fired him up to write the 10 simple rules for being nice that I share below: –

10 simple rules for being nice:

1. Think about others before you think about yourself.
2. Say “please”.
3. Say “thank you”.
4. Smile.
5. Say “sorry” when you need to say “sorry”.
6. Turn off your phone when you eat with your family.
7. Be on time. No, be early.
8. Radiate optimism and make people feel good.
9. Keep your promises.
10. Be humble.

Yes, I agree these are simple rules but simplicity contains great power. How much better would the world be if we all took a bit more time to be nicer to each other?

This week why not practice using these rules more and see what positive outcomes they create. What have you got to lose? Also have a think about whether you are putting up with inappropriate behaviour and what steps you can take to change this and create some new boundaries.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk