Month: February 2020 Page 1 of 2

“The quality, not the longevity, of one’s life is what is important.” Martin Luther King.

I had sinus surgery at the end of January and as a result I’ve had some time off to rest and recover. It has given me lots of time to reflect, recharge and take stock. It’s the first time in over 20 years that I have had a sustained period of leave because of illness.

I’m usually so busy that it took some time to adjust to a long period of rest and inactivity. It has been an interesting experience getting used to the alien concept of doing nothing. I did make the adjustment and found the time out very helpful.

Periods of reflection such as these help us to recalibrate our life, to press the reset button and remember what is important to us. They also remind us that the true wealth in life is good health.

The following metaphor came to mind whilst I was reflecting. It has a powerful message about time management and priorities.

Rocks, Pebbles and Sand

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items in front of him. When class began, he wordlessly picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks about two inches in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles, poured them into the jar and lightly shook it. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. The students laughed. He asked his students again if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this is your life.

• The rocks are the important things—your family, your partner, your health, your children—anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed.
• The pebbles are the other things in life that matter, but on a smaller scale. The pebbles represent things like your job, your house, your car.
• The sand is everything else—the small stuff”.

“If you put the sand or the pebbles into the jar first, there is no room for the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff, material things, you will never have room for the things that are truly most important.

Pay attention to the things that are critical in your life. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the rubbish.

In your own life, be sure to take care of the rocks first—the things that really matter. Remember, the rest is only ‘pebbles and sand’.

But then…A student then took the jar which the other students and the professor agreed was full, and proceeded to pour in a glass of wine. Of course, the wine filled the remaining spaces within the jar making the jar truly full.

The alternative moral of this tale is: – no matter how full your life is, there is always room for a good glass of wine!

This week why not pause for a few moments to reflect. Consider if there is any action you need to take to make more time for the “rocks” in your life? Are there changes you need to make to your daily schedule to give yourself more quality time?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” Lao Tzu.

A habit that I recommend that you develop is to regularly review the progress you are making towards any personal goals that you may have set. This will help you to make any adjustments to any action plans you have in place.

Part of my formula and approach to achieving goals is that I break them down into manageable chunks. This philosophy has played a major part in helping me to write and publish two books in the past 4 years.

I know from first-hand experience that over time small consistent actions lead to big results. Life is all about margins. There’s often a tiny difference between winning and losing, perceived success and failure, hitting or missing a target.

I’m sure you can think of examples from your own life experiences where the tiniest of margins determined the outcome of a situation. Thinking a goal is too large can make us feel overwhelmed, it can keep us stuck and stop us taking action to achieve it.

We all mistakenly think we need to keep taking massive action to get a result or make change happen in our life.

The fact is small incremental steps accumulate into massive progress when combined with sustained disciplined action. One small action every day towards a specific goal leads to 365 separate actions (366 in this leap year!). Achievement somehow seems bigger when you look at it like that!

One of my favourite stories about the impact and value of small consistent actions is The Daffodil Garden story which I included in my first book Be First Class. It provides powerful lessons for us all. Here is the story:

The Daffodil Garden

Every year, high in the San Bernardino mountain range of Southern California, five acres of beautiful daffodils burst into bloom. Amazingly, this special spot, known as “The Daffodil Garden,” was planted by one person, Gene Bauer, one bulb at a time, beginning in 1958. This story originally appeared in Jaroldeen Edwards’ book Celebration! The story contains details of a mother being taken to see the daffodils in bloom by her daughter Julie.

Apparently, Gene Bauer’s house (which was adjacent to the field of daffodils) had a poster on it which said:-

Answers to the questions I know that you are asking:-

• 50,000 bulbs
• One at a time
• By one woman
• 2 hands, 2 feet
• And very little brain
• Began in 1958

Gene Bauer planted one bulb at a time to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain top. Still, this unknown old woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. She had created something of magnificent beauty and inspiration by planting at least one bulb every day for many years until she got to 50,000 planted bulbs.

The life lessons her daffodil garden taught are:

• Learn to move towards our goals and desires one step at a time (often just one baby-step at a time)
• Ensure that we get pleasure from and love the doing
• Learn to use the accumulation of time

This is what the mother said to her daughter after seeing the flowers in full bloom:-.

“It makes me sad in a way,” I admitted to Julie, “What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five years ago and had worked away at it ‘one bulb at a time’ through all those years. Just think what I might have been able to achieve!”

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her direct way, “Start tomorrow, Mum,” she said, “It’s so pointless to think of the lost hours of our yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson a celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, how can I put this to use today?”

This story also reminds us that we all have it in our gift to change the part of the world and environments that we occupy with our unique contribution.

Is there a task, goal or vision that you are putting off?

This week, why not take a few moments out to reflect and consider what action step(s) you could take to make progress towards a personal task, goal or vision that you have.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“It doesn’t matter who you are: being human is being human. Everyone has days that are challenging.” Miranda Kerr.

As human beings we are all unique. We have different beliefs, physical features, personal traits and qualities. We also have different life experiences that allow us to grow, learn lessons and develop wisdom.

However, I’ve noticed that there is a personal trait that is quite common and shared by many people. Coaching thousands of people has shown me that most people are very hard on themselves. They are their own worst critic and pretty unforgiving of any mistakes they make or failures that they experience.

This hard, uncompromising attitude has a detrimental impact on their mental well-being and mindset. It causes them to feel anxious and stressed. It also negatively impacts their energy levels, mood and sense of worth.

Sometimes we all need to cut ourselves some slack and remind ourselves that we are all human. It’s ok to feel down, to admit we don’t have the answer sometimes, that we got something wrong or have made a mistake. We all have good and bad days, we experience highs and lows. At some stage in our life we all encounter success and failure, joy and pain.

Many people are brought up to not show their emotions. They are told to keep their feelings under wraps and to keep a stiff upper lip in the face of adversity or challenge. As a result, they are afraid to show their vulnerability. They have a fear that if they were to do so, people will take advantage of their weakness or unfairly judge them. Some people find it difficult to admit they are struggling, have made a mistake or ask for help. They don’t want to appear weak or needy.

Accordingly they hide behind a mask and pretend that everything is ok. Many people find this to be lonely and exhausting but still maintain the behaviour. I believe that to be open and to express how you are really feeling is liberating. It means that you don’t have to bottle up unhelpful feelings and emotions.

Adopting this approach enables us to move on more quickly from challenges and opens the door for others to offer help, support or useful advice. It helps other people to have a greater understanding of what we’re experiencing and how we’re feeling.

Here are a few thoughts and insights that I have developed over the years on the subject of being human, which I hope that you find useful:

• When you give up perfectionism and instead aim for excellence, life becomes easier and more enjoyable. If you look for perfection in life you will always be disappointed and empty handed.
• It’s best to not compare yourself with others. Invariably when we do this we compare our bad results with other people’s great results. This does nothing for our sense of worth.
• Our learning never stops. Each day presents opportunities to grow and develop if we are open to this possibility.
• Life is all about lessons. We are all given tests and challenges in order that we can develop our wisdom and inner strength. It’s good to remember that we will be given the same challenges until we learn the lesson!
• When we experience tough times and low points it gives us the chance to have a greater appreciation for the high points and be grateful for life’s blessings.
• The right answers for us and our life are locked inside of us all. We need to spend sufficient time to tap into and listen to our inner voice. We must then trust and act upon our own wisdom.
• Mistakes don’t have to define us as individuals unless we let them. Everyone makes mistakes and encounters setbacks and disappointments at some point in life. It’s part of life’s rich tapestry.
• In order to feel empowered and at ease, it’s important to take responsibility for our life and choices. The choices we make always have a direct influence on the quality of our life experiences and results.

This week why not take a few moments out to reflect and consider what action you need to take to be more human. Do you need to develop a more encouraging and kinder inner voice?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk