Month: November 2020 Page 1 of 2

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” Leonardo Da Vinci.

What a year 2020 has been! Who would have thought that when we wrote goals this time last year, that the new year would turn out the way that it has? We have all had to cope with the challenges of a global Coronavirus pandemic. This has required us to adjust to restrictions to the way we live our lives.

Some people have had significant health and/or financial challenges to cope with. There has been lots of stress and anxiety to deal with for us all.

Thankfully, there was some good news last week about possible Coronavirus vaccines which once approved and administered will enable us to return to some semblance of normal life. This feels like a bit of light at the end of what has been a long and dark tunnel. This promising news gives us all something to look forward to as we continue to navigate our way through the current challenging climate.

When I reflected on the news, it occurred to me that this is a good time to take some time to reflect, evaluate and plan. During this process, we can consider how we are doing against the various goals and desires that we set for the year.

We can determine if outstanding personal and professional goals are still relevant. If they aren’t then we can decide to let them go. Alternatively, if we feel that they’re still appropriate we can formulate a plan of action to re-energise them and achieve them by the year end.

Essentially, it’s a good time to take stock and get clear on where we are in life. Once we have done this, we can start to turn our attention to what we would like to create and experience in the New Year. This helps to start the planning process. We can also plant seeds that can blossom in the spring.

During our reflections we can think about how we can bring greater balance to our life and what action we can take to increase our happiness. We can also contemplate if anything needs to change about our job/business, diet, general health and fitness, sleep, or relationships?

To help you with this process, I suggest that you also ask yourself “What am I no longer willing to tolerate in my life?” You may conclude that some of your habits or routines need to be changed or released. Once you have done this you can then turn your attention to deciding what healthy habits you would like to create in your life.

You may feel that you have some mental clutter that needs to be sorted and reduced. You may feel overwhelmed or that you’re over thinking things. You might think that you’re spending too much time locked in your head.

There may be some physical clutter that you need to dispose of. Clutter is defined in the Oxford dictionary “as a crowded and untidy collection of things.” Clutter can also be described as to things that are no longer needed or used, disorganised and untidy or crammed into a small space. It’s also anything that is unfinished or incomplete.

In summary, like trees shedding their leaves in autumn, you can shed anything that you no longer need, that no longer serves you or weighs you down. You can let go of things both mentally and physically.

Letting go of mental clutter makes us feel lighter and provides some clarity. When we purge physical clutter, it creates space in our life to experience new things and adventures. Life gets simplified when we let stuff go.

When we commit to change and decide to let go of things it requires some effort, discipline, and determination. We also need to be consistent in our actions to embed new behaviours and habits.

Letting go of things isn’t always easy to do. Beginning the process and taking the first step is often the hardest one to take. However, once we act, we create some momentum and will be able to embrace a new way of being more easily.

This particularly applies if we’re looking to change a long-held habit or behaviour. In such circumstances, it’s good to remind ourselves what the long-term benefits of the transformation will be. Having clarity on how the sacrifice will be worthwhile in the long run motivates us to act and overcome any procrastination.

This week why not take a few moments to reflect and ask yourself what you need to let go of by the year end. You can also decide what healthy habits you would like to work on creating.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” William Arthur Ward.

This Thursday, it’s the annual Thanksgiving Day holiday in the USA. This is a day when the country takes the time to celebrate the blessings of the year. Thanksgiving is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November and originated as a harvest festival. It has been celebrated nationally on and off since 1789.

On Thanksgiving Day, many people set time aside to give thanks for their blessings along with holding feasts to celebrate a harvest. It’s a reminder to us all whether we reside in the USA or not of the importance of being appreciative and grateful for all that we have and experience in life.

It’s easy for us to take life for granted when we get busy and juggle lots of things. We can easily fall into the trap of focusing on what we lack and dwell on our weaknesses, mistakes and setbacks. This negative spiral can have a detrimental effect on our energy and motivation levels.

We can also engage in the pointless task of comparing our life to that of others. This is never a very smart move as we might compare our weaknesses to someone else’s strengths. Furthermore, when we start something new, we can compare our possible struggle with someone who has more experience, is established and appears to have it easy.

We can get up in the morning and not fully appreciate the gift of a new day. We may not value the fact we have a roof over our head and at a flick of switch electricity appears to illuminate our home. We can turn a tap and instantly have running water to fill a kettle and make ourselves a hot drink before we enjoy a lovely hot shower! I could go on but the point is we get so used to our daily routine and all that is available to us that we can take it all for granted.

When we take the time to be more consciously grateful, life takes on a new perspective. We look at things more positively and we appreciate all that we have. This includes the special people in our life and the opportunities available to us. We feel blessed for the natural gifts and talents that have been bestowed upon us. This has a positive effect on our mood, energy and happiness levels. As a result of this approach we tend to attract new opportunities and possibilities.

Research suggests that being grateful has positive health and well-being benefits. It can also increase happiness levels.

Robert A. Emmons & Michael McCullough are two of the leading scholars on the topic of gratitude and they have researched and written about its power to boost happiness. In one of their studies, they carried out research with 3 experimental groups over a 10-week period. They found that the people who were in the gratitude condition felt fully 25% happier. They were more optimistic about the future, they felt better about their lives and they even did almost 1.5 hours more exercise a week than those in the hassles or events condition.

Martin Seligman is a leading expert on positive psychology and a very successful author. He has looked extensively at the effect and benefits of practising gratitude in his work. He has found that writing down what we are grateful for has the ability to shape our mood positively in lasting ways.

A practice I strongly advocate that you adopt is to establish a gratitude journal. Each day take a few moments to note down 3 things from the day that you are grateful for. I established this as a habit a few years ago and it has a really positive effect. I have found that even on challenging days it’s possible to find 3 things to be grateful for.

Some people have found it helpful to maintain a gratitude jar. This allows them to acknowledge positive events when they happen. They make a note of such events on post it notes/pieces of paper which they put in a jar. They note things like acts of kindness they’ve received, positive feedback, receipt of income, gifts, unexpected windfalls and great customer service. Some people make a note of nice experiences such as days out, time by the sea, fantastic meals etc.

At the end of each year, they take out the notes and read them all. This is an excellent way to acknowledge and appreciate all the things that they’ve been fortunate to experience during the year. This creates a good feeling and is a great way to prepare and look forward to the New Year with positive expectation.

When we’re more deliberate about practising gratitude, we become better equipped to deal with challenges and hassles that inevitably we all face from time to time.

I know that it has been It has been a challenging year for many people given the Coronavirus (Covid-19) pandemic that has affected the world. However, there are always experiences, things and people in our life that we can be grateful for.

Given what has happened in 2020, I believe that it’s more important than ever to take the time to think about everything that we can be grateful for.

It’s never a waste of time or energy to get clear on and appreciate all of life’s blessings.

With this thought in mind, why not take a few moments this week to pause and reflect and consider what you are grateful for in your life.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

 “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Oscar Wilde.

Quite often during my personal development work, people ask me what I believe to be the most important quality in life. This week’s blog seeks to address that question from my perspective.

There’s a sign in my office that provides my answer to this question. It says “In a world where you can be anything, be yourself!”

In life, I believe it’s so important to be who you really are and true to yourself. This helps to create an inner peace and contentment.

To be yourself isn’t always easy. It requires courage, determination and lots of self-discipline because we face peer pressure all our life to be a certain way to “fit in.” This particularly affects us in our childhood and young adult years.

It’s not always easy to stay true to yourself because deep down we all want to be accepted and feel part of the crowd.

We live in a very material world and following the rise in consumerism we’re bombarded daily with numerous marketing messages influencing us to buy stuff. We are encouraged to look, dress and act in a certain way.

All of these messages can influence us to become what we think others want us to be and can lead us to overly worry about what people think of us.

On this theme, there is a great quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson; He said “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

Why not pause for a moment and consider what it means for you to “be yourself?”

Our true self is who we really are when we let go of the stories, labels and judgements that we have placed on ourselves in order to “fit in.” It’s who we are without our social masks and pretentiousness.

For me, part of being ourselves is about making full use of the natural gifts and talents that we’ve been given. These are a unique combination. When we fully use them we fulfil our true purpose and unlimited potential.

I believe a large part of being yourself is coming from the heart and speaking with honesty, clarity, pure intention and acting with integrity. If you speak from the heart, you will never be lost for words! This is worth bearing in mind if you’re ever called upon to do a presentation.

Being yourself is essential when you have an important and tough decision to make. At times like these having some quiet time to tune into the messages and feelings contained in your heart can help. This enables you to act upon the wisdom of your intuition.

Being yourself is about being real, authentic and not fake. In doing so, you decide that you are prepared to show your vulnerability and to be human. It demonstrates that you stand up for what you believe to be true even though you may be a lone voice.

When part of a debate or discussion, it’s about carefully listening and weighing up the merits and pro’s/cons of each opinion and argument, whilst maintaining an open mind and objectivity.

Once you’ve completed this process, you’re able to make a decision on who/what to support based on how you feel about what you’ve heard and considered. In this way, you align with your values and who you really are. You remain true to yourself.

It’s also about not doing things to merely get attention or to please others. We can learn much from watching small children. You will notice how free from attachments they are. They care little about what people think about them. They are just in the moment and more often than not they’re following their joy.

If you are overly concerned about what others think of you, frequently ask yourself “How would I act right now if I had no cares about what others think of me?”

On a final note, as well as being yourself, I firmly believe that it’s vital if you are to be trusted and respected in life that you back up your words with deeds. In other words it’s imperative that you walk your talk. Therefore, it was so reassuring and pleasing when out of the blue a client once said to me:

“What I love and admire about you is that you are so comfortable with being yourself.”

This week, why not pause to reflect and consider if there are any situations in your life that require you to speak your truth. If so, what will be your first step? Also have a think about what action you need to take to be yourself more.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk