Month: June 2020 Page 1 of 2

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” Aristotle.

In view of the Coronavirus (Covid-19) pandemic that has affected the world this year we have all had to get used to a new way of being. This has enabled us to come to terms with a variety of social distancing and lockdown measures designed to control the spread of the virus.

Despite the disruption caused by the virus and resultant measures, it’s important that we develop good habits that help us to achieve our goals and desires.

Some of the characteristics and qualities required to make changes and achieve goals are effective planning, belief that it’s possible to achieve, self-discipline to keep taking action and persevere in the face of difficulty.

Research suggests that 90% of what we do each day is habit.

Therefore, it’s vitally important that we create good effective and healthy habits that help us to maximise our opportunities and performance, fulfil our potential and attain success.

We truly are creatures of habit, so it’s vital that the habits we have help us rather than hinder us! Each day when we get up to the time that we retire to bed, there are hundreds of things that we do each day the same way. This will include the way we shower, dress, eat breakfast, brush our teeth, travel to work etc.

Here are some other facts about habits:

• Established habits take 21 days to break/change
• New habits take between 25 and as much as 66 days to form (depending on what research you read!)

So, change doesn’t happen overnight and given the length of time it takes to form new habits, it could be one of the reasons why New Year resolutions get broken and goals go unfulfilled.

The positive aspect of habits is that they free up our mind while our body is on automatic pilot. For example, we’re able to plan our day whilst we’re in the shower, exercising or travelling somewhere.

The negative aspect of habits is that they get locked into our sub-conscious mind and create self-defeating patterns that inhibit our growth, limit our performance and prevent us from fulfilling your potential.

It was Einstein that said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

If we want a different set of results, we have to adopt a different approach and habits. Whatever habits that we’ve established are producing our current level of results. If we would like to create increased results, improved performance, better relationships or greater happiness we will need to create a new set of habits.

There are some bad habits that will hinder our performance and prevent us from being the best that you can be. These may include: –

• Not keeping the promises that we make to ourselves or others
• Over committing our time
• Having weak boundaries and difficulty saying no to other people’s requests and demands
• Not following through on action plans
• Procrastinating and over thinking issues
• Not returning phone calls or replying to emails in a timely manner
• Watching too much TV
• Staying up late and not getting sufficient sleep
• Spending time with negative people
• Not taking enough breaks throughout the day
• Drinking insufficient water and eating the wrong food
• Lack of exercise

Each of us is unique and has our own secret formula that helps us to achieve our very best results. It will be different for each of us.

Quite often I suggest to clients that they ask themselves the question “What daily habits and rituals enable me to be the best I can be?” I then recommend they devise a list of 5 – 7 things that they must do each day to get the results they desire. The list tends to cover areas like working practices, diet, exercise, sleep, relationships, effective boundaries etc.

This week, in order that you may be the best that you can be, why not take a few moments to consider the following questions: –

• What new habits and behaviours do I need to start doing?
• What good habits and behaviours do I need to expand?
• What bad habits and behaviours do I need to stop doing?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along’.” Eleanor Roosevelt.

On June 6, it was the 76^h anniversary of D-Day. This military operation was codenamed Operation Overlord. It was the allied invasion of France in 1944 and the greatest amphibious assault in history. It was an alliance of various countries which included Great Britain, USA, Canada and Holland.

It was the start of the mission to liberate Europe from Nazi rule. 156,000 troops were landed onto the French shore. Additionally, 7900 paratroopers were dropped behind enemy lines six hours ahead of the amphibious assault to secure the flanks of the invasion area. Sadly 10,000 allied troops lost their lives that day.

Many of the veterans from the mission are now in their 90’s. When I’ve heard their stories in the past, it has occurred to me how brave and courageous these young soldiers needed to be in order to take part in the operation. Some were as young as 16 and were literally stepping into the unknown. We owe a huge debt of gratitude to them for ensuring that we can live in a democracy and enjoy freedom including free speech.

We can learn much from the events in 1944. History can provide answers to help heal some of the division, anger and conflict that’s prevalent in today’s world. Much can be achieved when people form alliances, work together to execute a clearly defined plan and collaborate to fulfil a purpose.

D-Day required the soldiers to take a massive leap of faith. They needed to have much courage to do what they did. Courage is a human quality that always impresses and inspires me. It’s the ability to disregard fear, to be brave and act on one’s beliefs.

I love to read and hear stories about how people stood up for what they believed in despite significant opposition. This could be tales of individuals or groups who persevered when they faced adversity and accomplished something outstanding against all the odds.

We all need courage to try something new and step outside our comfort zone in order to grow and evolve. We sometimes need to be courageous to be ourselves and not follow the crowd. We also have to be brave to confront inappropriate behaviour and beliefs.

Like the D-Day soldiers, there are many stories of people standing up for what they believed in notwithstanding the opposition they faced. Some made significant personal sacrifice and displayed incredible conviction to make a stand and fight injustice. Their battles helped to create more freedom and rights for millions of people to enjoy.

Some examples include the suffragettes who were members of women’s organisations in the UK in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. They advocated the right for women to vote in public elections. There was also Rosa Parks in Alabama, USA, whose courage in the 1950s led to improved human rights for black people in America.

Sometimes we need courage to overcome a fear, try a new approach to an old challenge, learn a new skill or take up a new hobby.

Some people resist change because they are scared and can’t picture a positive outcome. They choose to stay stuck in their comfort zones even though they may not be happy with the status quo.

Over the years I’ve come across many people who have resisted taking a leap of faith despite being unhappy and unfulfilled. Some hated their jobs or were bored with their career. Some were unhappy in their relationship. Others felt that life was passing them by and were stuck in a rut.

The main reasons that people stay stuck and procrastinate tend to be because of a strong sense of responsibility to others, fear of failure and stepping into the unknown. Quite often people underestimate their capabilities. It’s quite common for people who have been in a job for a long time to think that they aren’t capable of doing something else.

As well as fear, limiting beliefs, negative thinking and past set-backs can get in our way and stop us being all that we can be.   Our brains sometimes don’t help us positively, as they are designed to keep us safe and comfortable. This can make us risk averse.

There is a famous phrase “If you leap the net will appear.” This can inspire us to take a leap of faith when we’re contemplating change. If we listen to our hearts, have done our planning and know that the change is the right course of action for us, then quite often a magic seems to happen.

It’s incredible that when we fully commit to action, believe in a positive outcome and set our mind to succeed, the world has a knack of conspiring to support us. The right people and circumstances tend to show up at the right time to support us. You may have a dream to visit a new country, write a book, change job, start a new business, begin a new hobby or learn a new skill.

If you feel like you are stuck in a rut and want to step out of your comfort zone, start by making small changes to your daily routine. Always remember that small actions applied consistently over time lead to outstanding results.

This week, why not take a few moments to reflect and consider what you would start/do if you knew that things would work out positively. What first step will you take to get things moving?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Have patience with all things, but, first of all with yourself.” Saint Francis de Sales.

We’ve all lived through a challenging time and new reality due to the Coronavirus (Covid-19) pandemic that has affected the world over the past few months. As well as the dangers to our physical health, much concern has been expressed about the effect of the crisis on people’s mental health. The current coronavirus crisis has required us all to undertake significant behavioural change.

It’s useful to think about some of the benefits of this different way of being to help us to feel motivated to sustain the changes. Adopting this approach will help us to stick with the new habits when the going gets tough. It will also provide us with the energy and determination to persist with the new approaches to life.

Many people that I’ve spoken to have told me how anxious and stressed they have felt during the crisis. The uncertainty of the situation has stirred up many unwanted and unhelpful feelings and emotions.

They have also expressed frustration at not knowing when things will get better and when they can return to some of the activities that they enjoyed previously. We are all having to get used to a new way of being and adjusting to having more time on our hands and spending more time at home.

When things don’t progress as quickly as we would like, it can lead us to have anxious feelings. This can make it difficult to switch off mentally and may cause our sleep to be erratic. This can have a knock-on effect on our mood and close relationships.

When we don’t make the progress on our goals and projects that we would like, we can become very self-critical and hard on ourselves. This is when we need to have more patience with ourselves and our situation.

Patience is defined in the dictionary as “The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.”

Here are some tips on developing patience, which I hope you will find helpful: –

• Focus your time on things you can control and influence

Look to spend the bulk of your time on the things you can control as this is the area where you can have the biggest impact. Spend the rest of your time and focus on the things you can influence, knowing things may not go your way. Let go of things over which you have no control or influence. Time and energy spent there is just wasted and will lead to frustration.

• Get clarity on your professional and personal goals

Use this time to re-evaluate your personal priorities and what’s important to you. Get clear on the goals that really matter from this moment on. As you know, goals are best achieved by breaking them into small chunks. This process helps keep you motivated. Celebrate each milestone that you complete. One action every day towards a goal is 365 actions every year to move you closer to what you desire.

• Develop greater acceptance of people and life in general

Accept people and events don’t always move at your pace. Accept people for what they are not how you want them to be. Accept that things don’t always go as you would like. Learn to work with how things are today right now, rather than wasting time, energy and thought wishing that things were different. A useful reminder for this approach is the quotation by Reinhold Niebuhr: – “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

• Learn to forgive yourself

Frequently remind yourself that you’re human and will occasionally make mistakes. Remember that things won’t always work out as you imagined or planned. If you make a mistake, accept it, learn from it and move on. Instead of beating yourself up over past mistakes, accept they helped play a part in shaping who you are today. They taught you valuable lessons and created wisdom to apply in the future. As the old saying goes “There is no point crying over spilt milk.”

Finally, look to strive for excellence rather than expecting perfection. If you constantly look for perfection, you will always be disappointed and empty handed. Having a perfectionist approach in life will place unreasonable expectations on yourself and others.

This week, take some time to reflect and consider if you need to develop greater patience in life and what benefits it would bring you if you did. What action steps will you take to achieve this?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk