Month: February 2022 Page 1 of 2

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” Lao Tzu.

It’s so lovely to see that daffodils have started to flower in my garden. I always love this time of year when bulbs start to come out and provide some colour. It’s a sign that spring, summer and some warmer and hopefully sunnier weather is on its way.

It also gives me an opportunity to use a favourite story of mine about daffodils. I included it in my first book Be First Class. It’s called ‘The Daffodil Garden’ and I have included it below:

The Daffodil Garden

Every year, high in the San Bernardino mountain range of Southern California, five acres of beautiful daffodils burst into bloom. Amazingly, this special spot, known as ‘The Daffodil Garden’, was planted by one person, Gene Bauer, one bulb at a time, beginning in 1958. This story originally appeared in Jaroldeen Edwards’ book Celebration! The story contains details of a mother being taken to see the daffodils in bloom by her daughter Julie.

Apparently, Gene Bauer’s house (which was adjacent to the field of daffodils) had a poster on it which said: –

Answers to the questions I know that you are asking: –

• 50,000 bulbs
• One at a time
• By one woman
• 2 hands, 2 feet
• And very little brain
• Began in 1958

Gene Bauer planted one bulb at a time to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain top. Still, this unknown old woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. She had created something of magnificent beauty and inspiration by planting at least one bulb every day for many years until she got to 50,000 planted bulbs.

The life lessons her daffodil garden taught are:

• Learn to move towards our goals and desires one step at a time (often just one baby-step at a time)
• Ensure that we get pleasure from and love the doing
• Learn to use the accumulation of time

This is what the mother said to her daughter after seeing the flowers in full bloom: -.

“It makes me sad in a way,” I admitted to Julie, “What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five years ago and had worked away at it ‘one bulb at a time’ through all those years. Just think what I might have been able to achieve!”

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her direct way, “Start tomorrow, Mum,” she said, “It’s so pointless to think of the lost hours of our yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson a celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, how can I put this to use today?”

This story also reminds us that we all have it in our gift to change the part of the world and environments that we occupy with our unique contribution.

The story also teaches us that even in these challenging times we can to make progress on our visions and goals with disciplined and determined actions. I know from first-hand experience that over time small consistent actions lead to big results.

A habit that I recommend that you develop is to regularly review the progress you are making towards your personal goals. This will help you to make any adjustments to any action plans you have. Part of my formula for achieving goals is that I break them down into manageable chunks. This philosophy played a major part in helping me to write and publish two books in four years whilst working on other projects.

Life is all about margins. There’s often a tiny difference between winning and losing, perceived success and failure, hitting or missing a target. I’m sure you can think of examples from your own life experiences where the tiniest of margins determined the outcome of a situation. Thinking a goal is too large can make us feel overwhelmed, it can keep us stuck and stop us taking action to achieve it.

We all mistakenly think we need to keep taking massive action to get a result or make change happen in our life. The fact is small incremental steps accumulate into massive progress when combined with sustained disciplined action. One small action every day towards a specific goal, leads to 365 separate actions (366 in a leap year!). Achievement somehow seems bigger when you look at it like that!

This week, why not take a few moments out to reflect and consider what action step(s) you could take to make progress towards a personal task, goal or vision that you have.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“When you take care of yourself, you’re a better person for others. When you feel good about yourself, you treat others better.” Solange Knowles.

Modern life is busy and has many demands. We live in an information rich, time poor world. It’s very easy for people to take too much on, spread them themselves too thin and put other people’s needs before their own.

Over the years, I have seen numerous examples of talented people juggling many different priorities whilst seeking to sustain high levels of performance and lead balanced and happy lives. A common issue that affects many people I coach is that they put the needs of others before their own. I therefore spend some of the coaching time discussing the importance of self-care to help my clients to avoid burn out.

Lots of clients seek my help to address feelings of overwhelm, to get clarity on their key priorities and develop strategies to put their needs first more often. This also helps them to sustain great results and lead a balanced life.

It’s very easy to fall into the trap of putting other people’s needs before our own. Many of us were brought up to believe that focusing on our needs was somehow selfish. A desire to please people can also mean that we prioritise other people’s demands and needs before our own. Therefore, it can lead to feelings of guilt when we put ourselves first. Many people also confess to feeling weak if they show some vulnerability and admit that they need some help.

I tell people that we can all learn about the importance of self-care from the Mother Theresa quote “If you want to keep a lamp burning you have to keep putting oil in it.”

Self-care is not a fluffy; it’s about taking responsibility for our physical, psychological, emotional and social needs.

When I discuss the importance of self-care with clients, I refer to the metaphor that I learned from boarding a plane. Have you noticed that when they make the safety announcement the crew always give a specific instruction?

The plane’s crew tell you that in the event of an emergency (when the oxygen mask appears) to apply your mask first. They say that you must do this before you attempt to help others with their mask. The reason for this is that if you don’t have oxygen/energy you won’t be in a position to help others!

It’s imperative, to avoid burn out that we balance the amount of time that we care for others with the time we allocate to meet our own needs. Being well rested and looking after our health means that we will have the requisite energy to help those around us and keep delivering first class results. Sometimes we simply have to put ourselves first so that we can be the best we can be and have the energy to help others.

If you’re regularly tired because you have irregular sleep patterns, skip meals or fail to get exercise, then start making self-care a priority. Many people put others needs in front of their own, as they feel it self-indulgent to put themself first.

In order to maintain good health, it’s vital that you put some time aside and adopt some habits to take care of yourself.

The phrase self-care has gained in popularity over recent years and reminds us of the importance of taking care of our needs, so we can be the best we can be. It prompts us to take care of our physical needs (getting enough sleep, right diet, regular exercise etc.); emotional needs (asking for help when needed); mental needs (stimulating job, interests, personal development etc.); spiritual needs (time for prayer, meditation etc.).

Having good self-care also helps us to maintain good health and this should be a good incentive to look after ourselves. In life having good health is the real wealth.

Here are a few self-care tips: –

• Keep hydrated. Drink plenty of water – the recommended daily intake is 1.5-2 litres a day
• Strengthen boundaries. Decide what your limits are, communicate these to others. Get clarity on what you will and won’t tolerate
• Eat 5 pieces of fruit or vegetables every day
• It is recommended that you undertake 30 minutes of physical exercise every day. This doesn’t have to be a visit to a gym, walking is good for you.
• Ensure that you get enough sleep so your body has time to relax and recover. Keep your sleep patterns regular; go to bed and get up at the same time every day.
• Minimise the amount of caffeine that you have on a daily basis and keep alcohol intake within the recommended weekly limits
• Put some time aside to watch some funny movies or comedy shows and have a good laugh. Humour helps you feel good, more relaxed and energised.
• Avoid negative people and environments that drag you down. Ensure that you spend time with people who radiate energy and help you increase your energy levels and not deplete them!
• Give up being a people pleaser. Be kind to yourself and ensure that your self-talk is encouraging and positive.
• Be comfortable saying no when you have numerous demands on your time and let go of things that you can’t control.
• Unplug from technology on at least one day a week. Give your brain a rest and be in the moment.

This week, why not pause for a few moments to reflect and consider if you need to take any action to put your needs first more often. Also think about what personal steps you need to take to create more energy and balance in your life.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Is there anyone so wise as to learn by the experience of others?” Voltaire.

Wisdom is a quality that grows over time. It’s shaped and developed through life’s experiences both positive and negative. It’s the quality of having valuable experience, knowledge and good judgement. The trials and errors that we encounter on our life journey together with the insights we gain from having new adventures, meeting new people and our interactions and relationships with others help to build it.

Wisdom differs from knowledge as it’s the ability to discern what’s true or right for us. It rests insides us and is the quiet inner voice. If we choose to tune in, it offers us guidance on the best direction or course of action for us to take. It helps us to focus on things of real worth rather than the trivial.

We’re all fortunate to be able to tap into the wisdom of older people if we wish to. It’s sad that sometimes society doesn’t fully value and respect the knowledge and experience of older people. It’s too easy for people to be unfairly labelled “past their sell by date.”

On occasions, businesses take the decision to part company with older long serving employees and bring in young blood. In doing so, they subtly demonstrate that they prefer youth over experience. On this theme, there have been some high-profile legal cases in recent years involving television personalities who claimed that they were the victims of ageism when losing their television roles.

As with everything in life, we need a balance in society between the energy and enthusiasm of young people and the wisdom and experience of older people. When blended together effectively, working harmoniously and collaboratively, the combination of young and old in a team is very powerful.

I’ve detailed below some wisdom from old people that I found when doing some research for my book Just Be, which I wrote and published a few years ago:

• The most important person in your life is the person who agreed to share their life with you. Treat them as such.
• Stuff is just stuff. Don’t hold onto material objects; hold onto time and experiences instead.
• People always say “Make sure you get a job doing what you love!’’ But that isn’t the best advice. The right job is the job you love some days, can tolerate most days, and still pays the bills. Almost nobody has a job they love every day.
• If you’re getting overwhelmed by life, just return to the immediate present moment and savour all that is beautiful and comforting. Take a deep breath and relax.
• Don’t take life too seriously. Even if things seem dark and hopeless, try to laugh at how ridiculous life is.
• A true friend will come running if you call them at 2am. Everyone else is just an acquaintance.
• Nobody ever dies wishing they had worked more. Work hard, but don’t prioritize work over family, friends or even yourself.
• Don’t take anyone else’s advice as gospel. You can ask for advice from someone you respect, then take your situation into consideration and make your own decision. Essentially, take your own advice is my advice.
• The joints you damage today will get their revenge later. Even if you think they’ve recovered completely. Trust me!
• We have one time on this earth. Don’t wake up and realize that you are 60 years old and haven’t done the things you dreamed about.
• Appreciate the small things and be present in the moment. It seems today like younger people are all about immediate gratification. Instead, why not decide to appreciate every small moment.
• We don’t get to stay on this crazy/wonderful planet forever and the greatest pleasure can be found in the most mundane of activities. Instead of sending a text, pick up the phone and call someone. Call your mother, have a conversation about nothing in particular. Those are the moments to hold onto.

This week, why not take a few moments to pause and reflect to consider what is the best piece of wisdom that you have learned in your life. How can you use this to help others?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk