Month: December 2022 Page 1 of 2

 “Desire is the key to motivation, but it’s the determination and commitment to unrelenting pursuit of your goal – a commitment to excellence – that will enable you to attain the success you seek.” Mario Andretti.

As we move towards the end of 2022, many people will be thinking about goals they want to set for 2023 and things they want to change. Sadly, not everyone manages to follow through on their good intentions and accomplish their goals.

I’m a big advocate of personal goal setting and the merits have been validated by lots of people I’ve worked with who have successfully set and achieved their personal goals.

Setting personal goals ensures that time and energy is focused on what really matters. It enables people to fulfil more of their potential, to grow, develop and experience new things. It provides balance to life and a sense of accomplishment.

Goals don’t have to be massive. They can relate to fitness and health, hobbies, personal development or leisure such as places to visit, concerts to attend or days out to be arranged. It’s easy to overlook these things in the busyness of modern-day life if we don’t plan.

Here are a few tips for setting goals:

Be specific about what you want to achieve

What would you specifically like to achieve and by when? For instance, “to lose weight” is a goal. However, a better goal would be “to lose one stone in weight by June 30th 2023.”

Get clarity on your why

Determine what’s driving and motivating you to want to achieve the goal and why it’s important to you. Getting clear on your motivations upfront helps you to maintain focus and remind you why you must persevere when you feel like quitting.

Get clear on your current position

It helps to have an honest and objective assessment of your starting position and consider any action you have already taken or personal experience you can call upon. This helps you to quantify how realistic the goal is and what needs to be done.

Clarify any obstacles you need to overcome

Obstacles may be personal limitations or limiting beliefs or external factors such as a lack of time, money, knowledge or skills. By clarifying what needs to be overcome helps you to start to think about ideas and solutions.

Determine what support and resources you need

Do you need some help or support? What personal strengths, people or resources will help you to accomplish your goal? Would you find it helpful to be accountable to someone? Sharing our goals with others can establish an accountability mechanism. An accountability partner can check in on progress and provide encouragement or challenge if required.

Commit to action steps

Establish clear action steps which you are 100% committed to. You may find it useful to break large goals down into smaller chunks. This helps to prevent a big goal feeling overwhelming. Being in a state of overwhelm can lead to procrastination and stop us from making a start.

How will you celebrate?      

Determine at the start how you will celebrate and reward yourself when you achieve your goal. This provides an added incentive and keeps you focused and motivated. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking about what we haven’t achieved and not take any time to celebrate and reward ourselves when we complete something.

This week, why not pause for a few moments and ask yourself the following question:  What will enable me to get better at setting and achieving personal goals?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.” Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.

During some reflection time last week, I was reminded of a valuable life lesson I gained in 2006 which had a connection to Multiple Sclerosis. Sadly, my dad suffered from this awful disease for over 36 years prior to his death in December 2020.

This Thursday (December 22) marks the anniversary of his funeral and also that of my mum’s in 2021. Sadly, my mum died just 11 months after my dad and her funeral was on exactly the same date as his service. It’s ironic that their funerals were so close to Christmas as my parents adored Christmas and time spent with family.

The valuable lesson I learned occurred in August 2006. Following concerns over potential terrorist attacks, restrictions were introduced in at that time regarding hand luggage on planes. This particularly related to Trans-Atlantic journeys.

When the measures were introduced, I was in California, USA at a training event. I remember feeling a little anxious about having to fly home in an atmosphere of heightened fear particularly after what had happened in America previously with the 9/11 attacks.

In order to return home, I had to catch a flight from John Wayne International airport, Orange County to Chicago and then catch a flight to London Heathrow.

I remember arriving at the departure lounge and it was absolutely packed. There were no spare seats in the lounge near my departure gate. It was a beautiful sunny day with a clear azure sky. The lounge had a fantastic view of the runway and the planes waiting on the tarmac at the various departure gates. I perched on a ledge and phoned home to speak to my wife.

After I’d finished my conversation, a man beckoned for me to sit next to him on a seat that had become vacant. After a brief hello, we didn’t exchange any further words. We both read our respective books. I had to drink a one litre bottle of water as I learned that I wouldn’t be allowed to take liquids onto the flight because of the enhanced security measures.

When it got close to the time to board the flight, I realised because of all the water I had consumed I would need to have a comfort break! A long walk ensued to find some facilities. When I returned, passengers were boarding my plane and there were just a few people in front of me left to board.

Once on the plane I was astonished to find that I was sitting next to the man who had beckoned for me to sit next to him earlier! I wondered what the chances of that happening were. We were in a row of three seats and the seat on my right side was empty for the duration of the four- and half-hour flight.

The gentleman was in his late fifties but he looked older. He looked tired and his face was weathered. It appeared that he had been through a stressful period. During the flight he started a conversation by offering me a sandwich which I declined. He told me that he had been to a gynaecology conference as he was a Consultant Gynaecologist.

He said that he had moved to the USA from Iran 20 years previously. It had been difficult for him to be accepted by some people because of his nationality and he’d had a particularly difficult time since the 9/11 attacks. He was concerned that the current hysteria over plane safety would make it challenging for him again.

During the flight he told me that his life was very busy. He had been through a divorce and was no longer married. He said that a very good friend of his who suffered from Multiple Sclerosis had died recently and was only in his fifties.

I asked him what the challenges he had experienced (particularly after his friend’s recent death) had taught him. His reply was simple but very powerful. His response was:

“Every day is a gift. Make the most of every day, don’t look back in anger and have no regrets. Be kind when you can be.”

It was a very special conversation. Time seemed to stand still and my fear about the flight dissipated as I was so engaged in what we were talking about. It’s amazing how things and people show up when you need them to. It was the right conversation, at the right moment.

The gentleman’s wisdom taught me so much and has stuck with me and helped shaped my philosophy in life.  Despite the hostility he had experienced because of where he was born, he was still able to be kind and show compassion and empathy towards others. That really impressed me about him.

I had very little time when we arrived in Chicago to catch my connecting flight and wasn’t sure of the layout of the airport. I also had some gifts that I’d bought in the airport. Under the special measures I wasn’t supposed to take these onto the connecting flight.

He walked his talk regarding kindness. Knowing that I had limited time and also had the problem with the gifts, he walked me to the gate for international departures. He spoke to the check in staff. He persuaded them to make arrangements for me to take the gifts onto the flight!

The attendant asked for my passport, I said thank you to the gentleman. Once the check in lady had taken my boarding card, I turned around to say goodbye to the gentleman. However, he had disappeared. He had dashed off to catch his own connecting flight and I couldn’t see him anywhere.

He was a stranger who I’ve not spoken to since and probably never will. He showed great kindness and helped me when I needed it. This chance encounter taught me so much and I’ve never forgotten the wisdom that I gained from the conversation and his kind actions.

This week, why not take a few moments to reflect and consider what insights and lessons you have learned from challenges in your life. What wisdom would you pass on to someone if they asked you what tough times had taught you?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

 “There are three methods to gaining wisdom. The first is reflection, which is the highest. The second is limitation, which is the easiest. The third is experience, which is the bitterest.” Confucius.

As we’re rapidly approaching the end of the year, it’s a good time to take stock and think about the year and all that we’ve experienced. As we get immersed in the arrangements for the festive period it can be easy to neglect taking some time to reflect on the past year and to review our progress and growth.

The end of the year provides a great opportunity to celebrate our successes and achievements and think about the things we can be grateful for.

Investing our precious time in this way helps to provide some positive energy to carry into the New Year. This reflection time is a great way to wrap up the current year before turning some attention to creating some plans and goals for the year ahead.

Review of 2022

Over the next few weeks, prior to the start of 2023, I recommend that you get yourself a notebook and dedicate some time to reflect.  I suggest you think about the following questions and record your thoughts:

• What has been great about 2022?
• What lessons have you learned this year?
• What have been your greatest challenges this year? What have they taught you?
• What are you grateful for in life?
• What has brought you the most happiness?
• What do you need to let go of?

Planning for a First Class 2023

Once you have completed the reflection, you can turn your attention to thinking about what you would like to accomplish and experience in the New Year. Completing the reflection will provide some clarity and great insights to use in this process. Here are some possible questions for you to use to do this:

• How would you like 2023 to be different?
• What would you like to celebrate at the end of next year?
• What are your main personal and professional goals for 2023?
• What are your financial goals for 2023?
• What steps do you need to take to improve/maintain your health and fitness?
• What can you do to improve your relationships?
• What steps can you take to increase your happiness?
• What plans do you have to grow, develop and learn?

I hope that you find the process and questions useful. Hopefully they will help you celebrate 2022 the best way you can (in the current circumstances) and prepare for a happy and healthy 2023.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk