Month: October 2023 Page 1 of 2

“If you think you can or you think you can’t, you are probably right.” Henry Ford.

As we enter the final part of 2023, many of us will start thinking about the goals and results we would like to achieve next year.

Our beliefs play a pivotal role in the results that we achieve in life and help to shape and influence our behaviour.  Whatever we believe dictates how we respond to situations and determines how we relate to the people that we meet and interact with. It’s therefore important that we regularly review our beliefs and ensure they are working for us in a positive way.

If you believe that you will achieve a goal no matter what life throws at you, then you are more likely to do just that, rather than someone who believes they can never have what they really want.

When a hypnotist hypnotizes someone, they insert a belief into their mind and this influences how that person thinks and behaves. During hypnosis a person can adopt a belief that an orange is an apple or that a pencil is far too heavy to lift. These inserted beliefs change the person’s reality and what they believe they can and can’t do.

In much the same way we can all be hypnotized throughout our lives by the ideas we take on from others and believe to be true.

Most of our beliefs about ourselves and how the world operates are formed in early childhood.  They are shaped by our parents, grandparents, relatives, teachers, past experiences, media, culture, peers, friends & religion.  Aside from physical differences, it’s our different experiences and beliefs that make us all unique.

We may have false beliefs that stunt our growth. An example of a false belief that was universally accepted was that the earth was flat and that if you sailed far enough you would fall off the edge of the earth. Often, we don’t realise what our beliefs consist of or how they have been formed but they influence every moment of every day.

Every belief has a structure to it which we can change if we choose to.  It’s like carrying a recording in our heads.  If the recording is working for us, we can keep it and maybe update it occasionally. However, if the recording is limiting us, we can take it out and re-record it, so we have one that is working for us.

We accept opinions from influential people in our lives and hold them as facts. However, they aren’t facts but perceptions formed through our experience and other people’s views.  Beliefs are views about us, others and the world.  These views determine the decisions we take and the way we behave. If we want to change our results in life then the process starts with changing our beliefs.

Beliefs determine how we think and how we talk to ourselves (our self-talk) and this determines how we behave.  If we’re overly self-critical or hard on ourselves then we won’t necessarily enjoy the journey towards a particular goal. We’ll feel stressed, anxious and frustrated from time to time.

However, if our self-talk is kinder, more encouraging and positive then the journey will be a more enjoyable one. We’ll feel better and therefore behave more confidently. Our results are more likely to be more positive.

There are two types of belief: We can have empowering ones which help us to believe that we can achieve. They propel us forward towards our goals and help us to feel confident and good about ourselves.

Alternatively, we can have limiting beliefs. These hold us back, hinder our progress and negatively impact our confidence levels. They mean we get in our own way.

In 1954, Roger Bannister helped to change conventional wisdom and beliefs that people held by breaking the four-minute mile record. Prior to the race and his attempt to smash this barrier, people had urged him not to try it. They’d told him it was dangerous and life threatening. However, he ignored all this advice and successfully broke the record.

Once he’d achieved this, four runners broke the record within a year because they knew it was possible. Following Bannister’s achievement, athletes changed their beliefs. They told themselves they could do it and as a result their bodies performed more effectively.

There are countless examples of beliefs missing the point. Many said photocopiers, telephones and computers would not catch on.  Look how those beliefs turned out!

It’s important that we continue to challenge the beliefs we have and ensure they are working positively for us. All of us have the power and control over our beliefs which shape our self-talk/thoughts, behaviour and ultimately our results in life.

This week, why not take some time out to reflect. Consider what beliefs that you hold empower you and which limit your performance. Having done this decide if there is anything that you’re motivated to change.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” Leonardo Da Vinci.

The clocks go back one hour in the UK on Sunday and this marks the official end of British Summer Time. With summer ending, it’s a good time to take some time to reflect, evaluate and plan. During this process, you can consider how you are doing against any goals and desires that you set for the year.

You can determine if outstanding personal and professional goals are still relevant. If they aren’t then you can decide to let them go. Alternatively, if you feel that they’re still appropriate you can formulate a plan of action to re-energise them and achieve them by the year end.

Essentially, it’s a good time to take stock and get clear on where you are in life. Once you’ve done this, you can start to turn your attention to what you would like to create and experience in the New Year. This helps to start the planning process. You can plant seeds that can blossom next year.

During your reflections you can think about how you can bring greater balance to your life and what action you can take to increase your happiness. You can also consider if anything needs to change about your job/business, diet, general health and fitness, sleep or relationships?

To help you with this process, I suggest that you ask yourself: “What am I no longer willing to tolerate in my life?”

You may conclude that some of your habits or routines need to be changed or released.  Once you’ve done this you can then turn your attention to deciding what healthy habits you would like to create in your life.

You may feel that you have some mental clutter that needs to be sorted and reduced. You may feel overwhelmed or that you’re over thinking things. You might think that you’re spending too much time locked in your head.

There may be some physical clutter that you need to dispose of. Clutter is defined in the Oxford dictionary “as a crowded and untidy collection of things.” Clutter can also be described as to things that are no longer needed or used, disorganised and untidy or crammed into a small space. It’s also anything that is unfinished or incomplete.

In summary, like trees shedding their leaves in autumn, you can shed anything that you no longer need, that no longer serves you or weighs you down. You can let go of things both mentally and physically.

Letting go of mental clutter will make you feel lighter and provide some clarity. When you purge physical clutter, it will create space in your life to experience new things and adventures. Life gets simplified when you let stuff go.

When you commit to change and decide to let go of things it requires some effort, discipline, and determination. You also need to be consistent in your actions to embed new behaviours and habits.

Letting go of things isn’t always easy to do.  Beginning the process and taking the first step is often the hardest one to take. However, once you act, you will create some momentum and will be able to embrace a new way of being more easily.

This particularly applies if you’re looking to change a long-held habit or behaviour. In such circumstances, it’s good to remind yourself what the long-term benefits of the transformation will be. Having clarity on how the sacrifice will be worthwhile in the long run will motivate you to act and overcome any procrastination.

This week why not take a few moments to reflect and ask yourself what you need to let go of by the year end. You can also decide what healthy habits you would like to create.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” Willie Nelson.

I was astonished when I first discovered some research that suggested that the average person talks to him/herself about 60,000 times a day. Furthermore, it’s said that most of this self-talk is negative.

That’s an awful lot of chatter that goes on sub consciously. Apparently, this kind of internal chatter is connected to lots of self-judgement and criticism.

Examples may include:

I’m too old to learn something new.

I shouldn’t have made that comment.

I’m sure he/she doesn’t like me.

I’m not equipped to jog every day.

I will never lose weight.

I don’t like the way my hair looks.

I’m useless with computers.

I can’t do this task etc.

It’s important that we pay more attention to our inner chatter. What we say to ourselves is just as important as what we say to others. Our self-talk has a major influence and drives our behaviour. Therefore, if we tell ourselves that we can’t do something or that we’re unable to master a new skill, our behaviour will reflect this fact and belief.  It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and shapes the results that we experience.

Imagine you are given a task to sell 60 units of something in a week.  If you tell yourself from the outset that you can’t do it, you will spend time and energy behaving in a way that proves this thought and belief to be correct.  As human beings we like to be proved right, even if our belief is misguided. If you expect failure, you will get a 100% success rate.

If on the other hand, you believe and confidently expect to sell 60 units in a week you’re more likely to achieve the result you expect. Your self-talk will be positive, encouraging and affirming.  This will lead your behaviour to be more energised, positive and optimistic. As a result, you’re more likely to achieve the results that you expect and desire.

The self-talk occurs through the conscious area of our mind and it becomes instructions to our sub-conscious mind, whose duty is to carry out the orders given to it by the conscious part of our brain.

I was given the following metaphor to help me understand how the two minds work and the relationship between them:-

Imagine that a navy ship is crossing the Atlantic Ocean. The captain of the ship is located on the bridge on the upper deck and gives orders to the crew who are located in the lower deck, below the water line and are unable to see where the ship is going.

In this example, the captain is the conscious mind and the crew the sub-conscious mind. When the captain provides an order about the direction the ship should travel in and the speed, the crew carry out the orders.  They don’t have a clue if the ship will avoid colliding with another vessel, run aground or safely reach its destination. It’s not their role to determine. Their role is just to carry out the instructions without questioning them or passing judgement. Given this metaphor, if we want to make an improvement in any part of our life, it’s essential that we ensure our self-talk is positive.

Negative thoughts and self- talk have a physical impact on our body.  They make us feel heavy, weighed down and can deplete our energy. Negative self-talk can make us feel frightened, anxious, cause us to break out into a sweat or become tongue tied.

If we talked to ourselves in a more encouraging way, what would this do to our physical well-being and results?

Here are some tips on using more positive language:

• Replace the word “can’t” with “can” i.e. “I can do this.”
• Substitute the word “never” with “sometimes.” “I never get these sums right” could be softened by saying “I sometimes get these sums right.”
• “Should” is a negative word used in self-judgment – when you find yourself saying “I should” to yourself, change it to the word “could.” “I should be good at golf,” can be changed to “I could be good at golf.” The latter has a more encouraging feel to it.
• Eradicate the word “try” from your vocabulary. You will either do something or not do it.  You don’t try and do it.  For instance, do you try and move a chair or do you just move it, or not bother?

This week, why not pause for a few moments and consider how encouraging your self-talk is. Do you need to change any of your inner dialogue?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk