Month: February 2023 Page 1 of 2

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” Lao Tzu.

It’s so lovely to see that daffodils have started to flower in my garden. I always love this time of year when bulbs start to come out and provide some colour. It’s a sign that spring, summer and some warmer and hopefully sunnier weather is on its way.

It also gives me an opportunity to use a favourite story of mine about daffodils. I included it in my first book ‘Be First Class’. It’s called The Daffodil Garden and I have included it below:

The Daffodil Garden

Every year, high in the San Bernardino mountain range of Southern California, five acres of beautiful daffodils burst into bloom. Amazingly, this special spot, known as “The Daffodil Garden,” was planted by one person, Gene Bauer, one bulb at a time, beginning in 1958. This story originally appeared in Jaroldeen Edwards’ book Celebration! The story contains details of a mother being taken to see the daffodils in bloom by her daughter Julie.

Apparently, Gene Bauer’s house (which was adjacent to the field of daffodils) had a poster on it which said: –

Answers to the questions I know that you are asking: –

• 50,000 bulbs
• One at a time
• By one woman
• 2 hands, 2 feet
• And very little brain
• Began in 1958

Gene Bauer planted one bulb at a time to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain top. Still, this unknown old woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. She had created something of magnificent beauty and inspiration by planting at least one bulb every day for many years until she got to 50,000 planted bulbs.

The life lessons her daffodil garden taught are:

• Learn to move towards our goals and desires one step at a time (often just one baby-step at a time)
• Ensure that we get pleasure from and love the doing
• Learn to use the accumulation of time

This is what the mother said to her daughter after seeing the flowers in full bloom: -.

“It makes me sad in a way,” I admitted to Julie, “What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five years ago and had worked away at it ‘one bulb at a time’ through all those years. Just think what I might have been able to achieve!”

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her direct way, “Start tomorrow, Mum,” she said, “It’s so pointless to think of the lost hours of our yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson a celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, how can I put this to use today?”

This story also reminds us that we all have it in our gift to change the part of the world and environments that we occupy with our unique contribution.

The story also teaches us that even in these challenging times we can to make progress on our visions and goals with disciplined and determined actions. I know from first-hand experience that over time small consistent actions lead to big results.

A habit that I recommend that you develop is to regularly review the progress you are making towards your personal goals. This will help you to make any adjustments to any action plans you have. Part of my formula for achieving goals is that I break them down into manageable chunks. This philosophy played a major part in helping me to write and publish two books in four years whilst working on other projects.

Life is all about margins. There’s often a tiny difference between winning and losing, perceived success and failure, hitting or missing a target. I’m sure you can think of examples from your own life experiences where the tiniest of margins determined the outcome of a situation. Thinking a goal is too large can make us feel overwhelmed, it can keep us stuck and stop us taking action to achieve it.

We all mistakenly think we need to keep taking massive action to get a result or make change happen in our life. The fact is small incremental steps accumulate into massive progress when combined with sustained disciplined action. One small action every day towards a specific goal, leads to 365 separate actions (366 in leap years!). Achievement somehow seems bigger when you look at it like that!

This week, why not take a few moments out to reflect and consider what action step(s) you could take to make progress towards a personal task, goal or vision that you have.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Is there anyone so wise as to learn by the experience of others?” Voltaire.

Wisdom is a quality that grows over time. It’s shaped and developed through life’s experiences both positive and negative. It’s the quality of having valuable experience, knowledge and good judgement. The trials and errors that we encounter on our life journey together with the insights we gain from having new adventures, meeting new people and our interactions and relationships with others help to build it.

Wisdom differs from knowledge as it’s the ability to discern what’s true or right for us. It rests insides us and is the quiet inner voice. If we choose to tune in, it offers us guidance on the best direction or course of action for us to take. It helps us to focus on things of real worth rather than the trivial.

We’re all fortunate to be able to tap into the wisdom of older people if we wish to. It’s sad that sometimes society doesn’t fully value and respect the knowledge and experience of older people. It’s too easy for people to be unfairly labelled “past their sell by date.”

On occasions, businesses take the decision to part company with older long serving employees and bring in young blood. In doing so, they subtly demonstrate that they prefer youth over experience. On this theme, there have been some high-profile legal cases in recent years involving television personalities who claimed that they were the victims of ageism when losing their television roles. Recently, BBC Radio 2 have been widely criticised for bringing in younger presenters to replace some long standing ones.

As with everything in life, we need a balance in society between the energy and enthusiasm of young people and the wisdom and experience of older people. When blended together effectively, working harmoniously and collaboratively, the combination of young and old in a team is very powerful.

I’ve detailed below some wisdom from old people that I found when doing some research for my book ‘Just Be’, which I wrote and published a few years ago:

• The most important person in your life is the person who agreed to share their life with you. Treat them as such.
• Stuff is just stuff. Don’t hold onto material objects; hold onto time and experiences instead.
• People always say “Make sure you get a job doing what you love!’’ But that isn’t the best advice. The right job is the job you love some days, can tolerate most days, and still pays the bills. Almost nobody has a job they love every day.
• If you’re getting overwhelmed by life, just return to the immediate present moment and savour all that is beautiful and comforting. Take a deep breath and relax.
• Don’t take life too seriously. Even if things seem dark and hopeless, try to laugh at how ridiculous life is.
• A true friend will come running if you call them at 2am. Everyone else is just an acquaintance.
• Nobody ever dies wishing they had worked more. Work hard, but don’t prioritize work over family, friends or even yourself.
• Don’t take anyone else’s advice as gospel. You can ask for advice from someone you respect, then take your situation into consideration and make your own decision. Essentially, take your own advice is my advice.
• The joints you damage today will get their revenge later. Even if you think they’ve recovered completely. Trust me!
• We have one time on this earth. Don’t wake up and realize that you are 60 years old and haven’t done the things you dreamed about.
• Appreciate the small things and be present in the moment. It seems today like younger people are all about immediate gratification. Instead, why not decide to appreciate every small moment.
• We don’t get to stay on this crazy/wonderful planet forever and the greatest pleasure can be found in the most mundane of activities. Instead of sending a text, pick up the phone and call someone. Call your mother, have a conversation about nothing in particular. Those are the moments to hold onto.

This week, why not take a few moments to pause and reflect to consider what is the best piece of wisdom that you have learned in your life. How can you use this to help others?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“It doesn’t matter who you are: being human is being human. Everyone has days that are challenging.” Miranda Kerr.

As human beings we are all unique. We have different beliefs, physical features, personal traits and qualities. We also have different life experiences that allow us to grow, learn lessons and develop wisdom.

However, I’ve noticed that there is a personal trait that is shared by many people. Coaching thousands of people has shown me that most people are very hard on themselves. They are their own worst critic and pretty unforgiving of any mistakes they make or failures that they experience.

This hard, uncompromising attitude has a detrimental impact on their mental well-being and mindset. It causes them to feel anxious and stressed. It also negatively impacts their energy levels, mood and sense of worth.

Sometimes we all need to cut ourselves some slack and remind ourselves that we are all human. It’s ok to feel down, to admit we don’t have the answer sometimes, that we got something wrong or have made a mistake. We all have good and bad days; we experience highs and lows. At some stage in our life, we all encounter success and failure, joy and pain.

Many people are brought up to not show their emotions. They are told to keep their feelings under wrap and to keep a stiff upper lip in the face of adversity or challenge. As a result, they are afraid to show their vulnerability. They have a fear that if they were to do so, people will take advantage of their weakness or unfairly judge them. Some people find it difficult to admit they are struggling, have made a mistake or ask for help. They don’t want to appear weak or needy.

Accordingly, they hide behind a mask and pretend that everything is ok. Many people find this to be lonely and exhausting but still maintain the behaviour. I believe that to be open and to express how you are really feeling is liberating. It means that you don’t have to bottle up unhelpful feelings and emotions.

Adopting this approach enables us to move on more quickly from challenges and opens the door for others to offer help, support or useful advice. It enables other people to have a greater understanding of what we’re experiencing and how we’re feeling.

Here are a few thoughts and insights that I’ve developed over the years on the subject of being human, which I hope that you find useful:

• Give up perfectionism and aim for excellence instead. When you do this, life becomes easier and more enjoyable. If you look for perfection in life you will always be disappointed and empty handed.
• It’s best to not compare yourself with others. Invariably when we do this, we compare our bad results with other people’s great results. This does nothing for our sense of worth.
• Our learning never stops. If we’re open to this possibility, every day becomes a school day and we will be presented with opportunities to grow and develop each day.
• Life is all about lessons. We are all given tests and challenges in order that we can develop our wisdom and inner strength. It’s good to remember that we will be given the same challenges until we learn the lesson!
• Tough times and challenges we experience help us to develop greater appreciation for the high points. We develop a deeper sense of gratitude for life’s blessings.
• The right answers for us and our life are locked inside. We need to spend sufficient time to tap into and listen to our inner voice. We must then trust our instincts and act upon our own wisdom.
• Mistakes don’t have to define us as individuals unless we let them. Everyone makes mistakes and encounters setbacks and disappointments at some point in life. It’s part of life’s rich tapestry.
• It’s important we take responsibility for our life and choices. When we do so, we will feel empowered and at ease. The choices we make always have a direct influence on the quality of our life experiences and results.

This week why not take a few moments out to reflect and consider what action you need to take to be more human. Do you need to develop a more encouraging and kinder inner voice?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk