Month: November 2017 Page 1 of 2

Today’s blog is a special one for me. I began writing and publishing this weekly blog in January 2014 and I’ve published a blog every week since then and this one is the 200^th.

As it’s a bit a milestone, I thought I would share a special personal story that gave me a very valuable life lesson and insight.

The story dates back to August 2006. At that time restrictions were introduced regarding hand luggage on planes in response to concerns over potential terrorist attacks on flights particularly trans-Atlantic journeys.

At the time the measures were introduced, I was in California, USA at a training event. I remember feeling a little anxious about having to fly home in an atmosphere of heightened fear particularly after what had happened in America previously with the 9/11 attacks.

In order to return home, I had to catch a flight from John Wayne International airport, Orange County to Chicago and then catch a flight to London Heathrow.

I remember arriving at the departure lounge and it was absolutely packed. There were no spare seats in the lounge near my departure gate. It was a beautiful sunny day with a clear azure sky. The lounge had a fantastic view of the runway and the planes waiting on the tarmac at the various departure gates. I perched on a ledge and phoned home to speak to my wife.

After I’d finished my conversation, a man beckoned for me to sit next to him on a seat that had become vacant. After a brief hello, we didn’t exchange any further words. We both read our respective books. I had to drink a one litre bottle of water as I learned that I wouldn’t be allowed to take liquids onto the flight because of the enhanced security measures.

When It got close to the time to boarding the flight, I realised because of all the water I had consumed I would need to have a comfort break! A long walk ensued to find some facilities. When I returned passengers were boarding and there were just a few people in front of me left to get on the plane.

Once on the plane I was astonished to find that I was sitting next to the man who had beckoned for me to sit next to him earlier! I wondered what the chances of that happening were. We were in a row of three seats and the seat on my right side was empty for the duration of the four and half hour flight.

The gentleman was in his late fifties. He looked tired and his face was weathered. It appeared that he had been through a stressful period. During the flight he started a conversation by offering me a sandwich which I declined. He told me that he had been to a gynaecology conference as he was a Consultant Gynaecologist.

He said that he had moved to the USA from Iran 20 years ago. It had been difficult for him to be accepted by some people because of his nationality and he had a particularly difficult time since the 9/11 attacks. The current hysteria over plane safety had made it challenging for him again.

During the flight he told me that his life was very busy, he had been through a divorce and was no longer married. He said that a very good friend of his who suffered from MS had died recently and was only in his fifties.

I connected with what he was telling me as my dad was diagnosed with this awful debilitating disease when he was just 50 and has deteriorated over the past 35 years.

I asked him what the challenges he has experienced particularly his friend’s recent death had taught him.

His reply was simple but very powerful. His response was:

“Every day is a gift. Make the most of every day, don’t look back in anger and have no regrets. Be kind when you can be.”

It was a very special conversation. Time seemed to stand still and my fear about the flight dissipated as I was so engaged in what we were talking about. It’s amazing how things and people show up when you need them to. It was the right conversation, at the right moment.

The gentleman’s wisdom taught me so much and has stuck with me and helped shape my philosophy in life. Despite the hostility he had experienced because of where he was born he was still able to be kind and show compassion and empathy towards others. That really impressed me about him.

I had very little time when we arrived in Chicago to catch my connecting flight and wasn’t sure of the layout of the airport. I also had some gifts that I bought in the airport, which under the special measures I wasn’t supposed to take onto the connecting flight.

He walked his talk regarding kindness. Knowing that I had limited time and also had the problem with the gifts, he walked me to the gate for international departures and spoke to the check in staff. He persuaded them to make arrangements for me to take the gifts on the flight!

The attendant asked for my passport, I said thank you to the gentleman. Once the check in lady had taken my boarding card, I turned around to say goodbye to the gentleman. However, he had disappeared and dashed off to catch his own connecting flight.

He was a stranger who I have never spoken to since and probably never will who showed great kindness and helped me when I needed it. This chance encounter taught me so much and I’ve never forgotten the wisdom that I gained from the conversation and his kind actions.

This week, why not take a few moments to reflect and consider what insights and lessons you have learned from challenges in your life. What wisdom would you pass on to someone if they asked you what tough times had taught you?

This week’s quotations:

“Let me encourage you to get up every day and focus on what you do have in life. Be thankful for the blessings of the little things, even when you don’t get what you expect.” Victoria Osteen.

“Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.” Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

This Thursday is the annual Thanksgiving Day holiday in the USA when the country takes the time to celebrate the blessings of the year. It’s a reminder to us all whether we reside in the USA or not of the importance to be appreciative and grateful for all that we have and experience in life.

It’s easy for us to take life for granted in today’s fast paced modern world when we get busy and juggle lots of things. We can easily fall into the trap of focusing on what we lack and dwell on our weaknesses, mistakes and setbacks. This negative spiral can have a detrimental effect on our energy and motivation levels.

All too easily we can engage in the pointless task of comparing our life to others. This is never a very smart move as we might compare our weaknesses to someone else’s strengths. Furthermore, when we start something new, we can compare our possible struggle with someone who has more experience, is established and appears to have it easy.

We can get up in the morning and not fully appreciate the gift of a new day. We may not value the fact we have a roof over our head and at a flick of switch electricity appears to illuminate our home. We can turn a tap and instantly have running water to fill a kettle and make ourselves a hot drink before we enjoy a lovely hot shower! I could go on, but the point is we get so used to our daily routine and all that is available to us that we can take it all for granted.

When we take the time to be more consciously grateful, life takes on a new perspective.

We look at things more positively and we appreciate all that we have. This includes the special people in our life and the opportunities available to us. We feel blessed for the natural gifts and talents that have been bestowed upon us. This has a positive effect on our mood, energy and happiness levels. As a result we tend to attract new opportunities and possibilities.

Research suggests that being grateful has positive health and well-being benefits. It can also increase happiness levels.

Robert A. Emmons & Michael McCullough are two of the leading scholars on the topic of gratitude and they have researched and written about its power to boost happiness. In one of their studies, they carried out research with 3 experimental groups over a 10 week period. They found that the people who were in the gratitude condition felt fully 25% happier. They were more optimistic about the future, they felt better about their lives and they even did almost 1.5 hours more exercise a week than those in the hassles or events condition.

Martin Seligman is a leading expert on positive psychology and a very successful author. He has looked extensively at the effect and benefits of practicing gratitude in his work. He has found that writing down what we are grateful for has the ability to shape our mood positively in lasting ways.

A practice I strongly advocate that you adopt is to establish a gratitude journal.

Each day take a few moments to note down 3 things from the day that you are grateful for. I established this as a habit a few years ago and it has a really positive effect on your mood and feelings. Even on challenging days you can always find 3 things to be grateful for.

When we’re more deliberate about practicing gratitude we become better equipped to deal with challenges and hassles that inevitably we all face from time to time.

Some people have found it helpful to maintain a gratitude jar. This allows them to acknowledge positive events when they happen. They make a note of such events on post it notes/pieces of paper which they put in a jar.

They note things like acts of kindness they’ve received, positive feedback, and receipt of income, gifts, unexpected windfalls and great customer service. Some people make a note of nice experiences such as days out, time by the sea, fantastic meals, attending concerts and sporting events etc.

At the end of each year, they take out the notes and read them all. This is an excellent way to acknowledge and appreciate all the things that they’ve been fortunate to experience during the year. This creates a good feeling and is a great way to prepare and look forward to the New Year with positive expectation.

During the coming week why not take some time out to pause and reflect and consider what you can be grateful for. You may like to devise a list of 50 things for which you can be grateful. You can add to it over the coming weeks if you wish to.

This week’s quotation:

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” William Arthur Ward.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

I have been reading and researching about inspiration and what inspires people.

This was prompted by thoughts about walks by the sea which are always a source of inspiration for me.

It’s my birthday soon and I plan to have a walk by the sea as it’s the way I like to celebrate my birthday now. Even though my birthday is in November and the weather isn’t particularly warm here in the UK at that time of year it still makes me feel good. Time by the sea always puts me in a state of peace and calm.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, one of the world’s great composers, once remarked: “When I am, as it were, completely myself, entirely alone and of good cheer, say, travelling in a carriage, walking after a good meal or during the night when I can’t sleep, it is such occasions that my ideas flow best and most abundantly. Whence and how they come, I know not, nor can I force them.”

We don’t have to be a genius like Mozart to know what he’s talking about.

When we are in a calm state and our mind is still or when we have some quiet alone time we receive creative ideas and insights. Many people have told me over the years that they got creative solutions to challenges, fresh ideas or suggestions, when they weren’t looking for them or thinking about the issue. Some have told me that it happens to them when they are in the shower or when out for a run or walk.

The Oxford Dictionary defines inspiration as “The process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.” When we are in a state of inspiration, life just seems to flow effortlessly. It enables us to feel good and confident and as a result we may step out of our comfort zone and try new things.

Have you ever considered what your sources of inspiration are?

Another major source of inspiration for me is seeing ordinary people achieve extraordinary things. People performing random acts of kindness and showing selflessness move and inspire me. People driven by a cause and making a real positive difference in the world through their actions and use of their natural talents provides me with inspiration.

There have been some ordinary people who have had achieved extraordinary things. They committed to making the world a better and fairer place and in doing so left a lasting legacy. Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandella, Martin Luther King Jr, Gandhi to name a few. All of them had the drive to be true to their convictions.

They all were all authentic and unafraid to be themselves. This simple act inspired many others to do the same. They didn’t have it easy and the way they overcame challenges and adversity is in itself inspirational.

We don’t have to be famous or get headlines to be inspirational. The people who regularly do work in their local communities to make it a better place and improve the life experiences of those who live there, for little personal gain apart from personal satisfaction are inspiring.

We can all be an inspiration to others and give back to our communities no matter what our standing is in the world. When you give with good intention, you don’t have an understanding of the potential positive impact your actions can have.

There are a variety of things and activities can provide a feeling of inspiration. These can include music, amazing sporting performances, watching films, beautiful sunsets, pictures and paintings of dramatic scenery particularly the sea, cliffs and mountains. Some people are inspired by flowers in bloom and other scenes from nature such as the colour of the leaves on the trees in autumn, biographies, inspirational quotes and pieces of writing or people taking a risk and producing something original

This week, why not take a few moments out to reflect and consider what inspires you. What would be on your list of inspirational things?

Ask yourself “Am I dedicating sufficient time (in the busyness of life) to do the things that I love to do and bring me a feeling of inspiration, contentment and relaxation?

This week’s quotation:       

“Inspiration is the greatest gift because it opens your life to many new possibilities. Each day becomes more meaningful, and your life is enhanced when your actions are guided by what inspires you.” Bernie Siegel.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk