Month: September 2019 Page 1 of 2

“A healthy outside starts from the inside.” Robert Uric.

For many years, I have held the view that whilst personal success and goal achievement is important, good health is the real wealth in life. Without good physical and mental health, significant material wealth is pretty meaningless.

Aside from the insights that I have gleaned from coaching and working with thousands of people over the past 18 years, I have a personal connection that has helped me to understand the value of good health.

My dad was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis when he was 52 and has suffered from the illness for over thirty five years. Unfortunately, he has been incapacitated for a few years now. It’s been sad to witness the deterioration of a happy, healthy man.

Whilst the situation does make me sad from time to time, it has taught me valuable lessons and given me a gift. The biggest lesson that I have taken from my father’s illness is that I should never take the gift of a healthy mind and body for granted. It’s also taught me to be grateful for life’s blessings, enjoy what life has to offer and to seize opportunities.

My thoughts about good health being the real wealth were reinforced recently when a friend had to have an operation. This left them without the use of one of their arms for a few months. This prevented them from being able to do simple tasks, drive their car, leave the house etc. It meant they suffered lots of pain and had very disturbed sleep. Their situation led to them feeling quite low.

My father’s situation has motivated me to follow some daily disciplines and routines that help promote and make the most of a healthy body and mind. I know that some health conditions, like multiple sclerosis are outside our control. However, I believe this doesn’t have to prevent us from following some healthy disciplines for the things that are within our control.

Research suggests that 90% of what we do each day is habit. Given this statistic it’s vital that we adopt habits that keep us physically and mentally healthy. It’s worth bearing in mind, if you decide to start a few new approaches and routines, that it takes us 21 days to break a habit and between 25 and 28 days to establish a new one.

I have listed a suggestion of 10 healthy habits to follow to help sustain a healthy body and mind:

1. Think positively and spend a few minutes daily writing 3 things to be grateful for
2. Confront your fears and don’t be afraid of failure (or success)
3. Meditate/sit in silence for 10 minutes each day
4. Set short and long term goals
5. Be comfortable saying no when you need to
6. Have a healthy diet, eat less sugar and drink daily recommended levels of water (2 litres)
7. Get sufficient sleep
8. Quit comparing yourself to others
9. Get outdoors, enjoy nature and exercise regularly (buy a step counter and aim to walk 10,000 steps a day)
10. Accept things as they are rather than wishing they were different

This week, why not take a few moments out to reflect and consider what healthy habits you follow or would like to start. What would be on your top 10 healthy habits list?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” Leonardo Da Vinci.

Whilst doing some gardening last week, I noticed that the leaves are starting to fall off some of the trees in our garden. It’s also a time where many bushes and trees need to be pruned and dead wood cut away. This encourages and makes room for new growth in the future.

I had the thought that we can all learn much from nature. It provides us with so many beautiful scenes and images that we can admire. It also gives us valuable insights if we take the time to notice. In our own lives we can shed what we no longer need and let go of things to make room for new growth and experiences.

Autumn is just around the corner in the UK. This can be a season of transformation for us. I believe that it’s the perfect time to take some time to reflect, evaluate and plan. We can consider how we are doing against the various goals and desires that we set for the year.

We can determine if outstanding personal and professional goals are still relevant. If they aren’t then we can decide to let them go. Alternatively if we feel that they’re still appropriate we can formulate a plan of action to re-energise them and achieve them by the year end.

Essentially, it’s a good time to take stock and get clear on where we are in life. Once we have done this we can start to turn our attention to what we would like to create and experience in the New Year. This helps to start the planning process. We can also plant seeds that can blossom in the spring.

We can think about how we can bring greater balance to our life and what action we can take to increase our happiness.

We can also contemplate if anything needs to change with regard to our job/business, diet, general health and fitness, sleep or relationships?

To help you with this process, I suggest that you ask yourself “What am I no longer willing to tolerate in my life?”

You may conclude that some of your habits or routines need to be changed or let go of. Once you have done this you can then turn your attention to deciding what healthy habits you would like to create in your life.

You may feel that you have some mental clutter that needs to be sorted and reduced. You may feel overwhelmed or that you’re over thinking things. You might think that you’re spending too much time locked in your head.

There may be some physical clutter that you need to dispose of. Clutter is defined in the Oxford dictionary “as a crowded and untidy collection of things.” Clutter can also be described as to things that are no longer needed or used, disorganised and untidy or crammed into a small space. It’s also anything that is unfinished or incomplete.

In summary, like trees shedding their leaves, autumn is a great time for us to shed anything that we no longer need, no longer serves us or weighs us down.

We can let go of things both mentally and physically. Letting go of mental clutter makes us feel lighter and provides some clarity. When we purge physical clutter, it creates space in our life to experience new things and adventures. We simplify our life when we let go of stuff.

When we commit to change and decide to let go of things it requires some effort, discipline and determination. We also need to be consistent in our actions to embed new behaviours and habits.

Letting go of things isn’t always easy to do. Beginning the process and taking the first step is often the hardest one to take. However once we get into action, we can start to create some momentum and embrace a new way of being.

This particularly applies if we are looking to change a long held habit or behaviour. In such circumstances, it’s good to remind ourselves what the long term benefits of the transformation will be.  Having clarity on how the sacrifice will be worthwhile in the long run will motivate us to take action and overcome procrastination.

This week, why not take a few moments to reflect and ask yourself if there is something that you need to let go of. You can also decide what healthy habits you would like to work on creating.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“The best way to persuade people is with your ears – by listening to them.”  – Dean Rusk.

I was watching a debate programme last week and I was amazed at how the participants failed to effectively listen to each other. There were lots of people talking over each other and failing to really listen to people’s opinions.

I’m not sure how people can form a balanced view of issues and influence others if they act in this way. It also shows a complete disregard for people’s views.

Many years ago I learned about the value of listening from the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. It was actually the first personal development book that I read. Dale Carnegie felt that in order to be a great conversationalist you need to develop excellent listening skills and encourage others to talk about themselves.

The biggest lesson I took from the book was that listening is the best form of influence. By following this approach you help people to feel heard, valued and special.

The book quotes a journalist called Isaac F Marcosson, who interviewed hundreds of celebrities. It was his view that many people fail to make a favourable impression and diminish their influence because they don’t listen attentively.

He said “They have been so much concerned with what they are going to say next they don’t keep their ears open. Very important people have told me that they prefer good listeners to talkers, but the ability to listen seems rarer than almost any other good trait.”

The book was first published in 1953 and I wonder if the increased number of gadgets at our disposal has further reduced our ability and capacity to listen attentively. Many people these days seem to want to talk more than they listen.

As the famous quote by Zeno of Citium says “We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more than we say.”

We live in an information rich and time poor world and this can lead to people feeling overwhelmed and having to multi-task. This can impact on people’s ability to listen effectively. Being a great listener is an excellent way to stand out in today’s busy world. It’s as important in our personal lives as in the world of business.

Having great listening skills doesn’t come easily given the number of potential distractions we have to navigate. It requires us to calm our busy minds. We also need to have a genuine desire to want to listen to others.

We have so much outside noise to filter that it’s a real challenge to listen to other people. It necessitates us to make a commitment to limit the number of distractions. This may involve turning off televisions, phones, pc’s/tablets and managing potential interruptions. We may have to schedule quiet time in the same way we schedule meetings, chores, exercise etc.

When you actively listen you clearly demonstrate that you care and value the person you’re listening to. It also shows that you have good social skills. Being a great listener takes time, practice and commitment.

When listening to another person you need to give them your full attention and ensure that “you are in the room” rather than having your mind focused on something other than what they are discussing.

Although, it sounds obvious, it’s imperative that you stay quiet when the other person is talking as interrupting or talking over them can suggest a lack of respect. Creating an environment with some pauses and brief periods of silence puts people at ease and gives them a chance to reflect and think.

Another way to demonstrate that you’re listening effectively is through your body language and eye contact. Relaxed and open posture shows people that you’re genuinely interested in what they have to say.

Good eye contact is essential to show that you’re actively engaged in the conversation and paying attention. Nothing shows people more that you’re not really interested by breaking eye contact, looking over their shoulder and fixing your gaze elsewhere whilst they are in full flow.

Great listening also requires that you approach conversations with an open mind and an intention to really engage with what the speaker is saying. An excellent listener has natural empathy with a genuine and authentic desire to understand what the other person is communicating.

This week, why not pause to reflect and consider what one step you can take to develop your listening skills.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk