Month: April 2020 Page 1 of 2

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The current situation may create more kindness and compassion in the world

“Together we can change the world, just one random act of kindness at a time.” Ron Hall.

Presently we are living in very challenging times given the Coronavirus (Covid-19) pandemic that is affecting the world. Many people across the world are having to cope with a new way of being including adhering to lockdown measures and social distancing.

In last week’s blog I talked about how developing greater acceptance of situations and people brings more inner peace. I also mentioned the need for us all to focus on things that we can control and influence in these uncertain times. One thing we can control is how kind and compassionate we are towards other people.

Whilst out grocery shopping this week, I observed a lady doing 5 lots of shopping for family and elderly neighbours. I was so pleased to witness this and was touched by the lady’s extraordinary kindness. Over the past few weeks, I have heard many people say that they are shopping for others and fetching their essential medical supplies. It’s wonderful how people are showing more community spirit and offering practical support.

In a blog last year, I mentioned how I strongly believed that the world needed more compassionate and kind people! In a strange way, the current situation is enabling this to happen. It’s bringing out the very best in people and I have witnessed many acts of kindness.

Perhaps we can all learn from the Dalai Lama who, when asked about his philosophy to life said “Be Kind.”

Prior to the outbreak of Coronavirus (Covid-19) I got very dismayed at the amount of conflict and negativity in the world reported by the media. It seemed to me that we all needed to consciously make an effort to be kinder to one another. I felt that the world was crying out for a little more kindness and greater respect for each other.

Research suggests that there are many benefits to us being kind. It makes us healthier, happier and can improve our results. It gives us a greater sense of wellbeing, makes us more emotionally resilient and reduces our stress levels.

People have many different motivations for performing acts of kindness. It can stem from a desire to give something back or to help themselves to feel more purposeful. Alternatively, it can be as simple as wanting to feel good.

A piece of research from British Columbia University suggested that people who were given $50 to spend, got more pleasure from spending it on others than spending it on themselves.

Acts of kindness can take many forms and range from planned activity such as volunteering our time to a worthy cause to more spontaneous acts. It doesn’t have to involve money. There are many simple ways we can all perform small acts of kindness.

For example, we can give a compliment, smile at a stranger, perform some chores for an elderly person, chat to someone who lives alone (in these days of social distancing this can be a conversation through a window or a phone call). We can donate some money to charities that help homeless or vulnerable people or we can sort out some possessions we no longer want or need to give to charity once lockdown measures are lifted.

We could do something simple like make a loved one a cup of tea or coffee or cook them a meal. We can let someone go in front of us in a queue, give an unexpected gift or some form of recognition or appreciation.

We can make a phone or video call to someone who’s going through a challenging time and actively listen to what they are saying without judgement. This simple act of caring can help someone feel valued and better.

Each act of kindness may seem tiny but it actually brings about change and shifts the way we see ourselves and others. This in turn changes the way that others see us. Acts of kindness affect people’s lives in a positive way. They may inspire and encourage others to perform some kind acts too.

Kindness can also have the effect of helping us to feel more grateful for what we have in life and enable us to feel a little more optimistic about the future.

Here is an old story about kindness which I feel is worth sharing at the present moment to reinforce what I have mentioned above:

The Wise Woman’s Stone

One day a wise woman was travelling in the mountains, where she found a precious stone in a stream. The next day, she met another traveller who was hungry and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food with him.

The hungry traveller saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so immediately and without hesitation, even though she knew how valuable it was. The traveller left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. However, a few days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said, “I know how valuable the stone is, but I want to give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious.”

“What is that?” the wise woman asked.

“Please can you give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone?”

In conclusion, I believe that kind acts bring a bit of light and sunshine to the world. This is particularly important in these sad and dark times. Let’s all commit to bring a bit of sunshine to the world in the coming weeks and months to make things a little better.

It’s within your control to make a positive difference to others and the world by being one of the kind and compassionate people that is very much needed at present.

This week, why not take a moment out to reflect and consider what you can do to bring more kindness and compassion to the world.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

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Developing greater acceptance brings us more inner peace

“Acceptance and tolerance and forgiveness, those are life-altering lessons.” Jessica Lange.

We are living in very challenging times at present given the Coronavirus (Covid-19) pandemic that is affecting the world. Many people across the world are having to cope with a new way of being including adhering to lockdown measures.

There are many things that are out of our control currently and much uncertainty. This can lead us to create feelings of stress and anxiety. This can dash attempts to create inner calm and peacefulness to help us cope with the current situation.

I feel that reminding ourselves of the following quotation when we are feeling a little anxious will help to calm our anxiety levels:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Acceptance has great value and power and it’s a great quality to have, particularly at times like these. It helps us to remain calm in the face of adversity.

Developing greater acceptance brings us more inner peace.

When we are accepting of something it helps us to manage our anxiety and stress levels. It means that we accept things as they are rather than as we would like them to be. This contributes to a calmer mind. It allows us to think of possibility and opportunity rather than looking to rewrite history. Having a greater level of acceptance lets us live in the present moment and not be hindered by the past. We start to look for solutions to challenges rather than spending time wishing things were different.

Being more accepting of other people allows us to be in a state of non- judgement and bear no malice towards them. As a result, we have greater tolerance of other people’s views and opinions. We accept people as they are rather than how we would like them to be. We start to look at their strengths and qualities rather than their flaws and weaknesses.

We can apply this principle to ourselves too and become more accepting of who we are. We can develop pride in our qualities, our accomplishments and achievements. We can expand our appreciation of the value we bring to the world and the contribution we make.

Additionally, we can accept and use our natural gifts and talents rather than spend time and energy focusing on our weaknesses and what we lack. This also allows us to stop wasting time and energy comparing ourselves to others. As an alternative approach we can become more single minded and focused on our goals and desires.

As Reinhold Niebuhr says we can accept the way things are and what we cannot change. This allows us to let go of the things that we can’t control and change. This enables us to divert our focus onto changing and influencing the things that are within our sphere of control.

Finally, we can learn to accept gifts and compliments from others and be grateful for all that we have in life. This will help us to develop an attitude of gratitude.

This week, why not take a few moments out to reflect and consider if you need to develop greater acceptance of situations and people in your life. As part of this reflection, I suggest that you get clear on what the benefits will be to you if you develop greater acceptance in your life.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

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Some tips to maintain a positive attitude in challenging times

‘A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It’s a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results. Wade Boggs.

In last week’s blog, I talked about Thomas Edison and how one of his key attributes was his positive attitude. I also shared how he was able to stay positive in the face of adversity and personal tragedy when his huge laboratory caught fire and was destroyed.

Life isn’t easy for many people just now given the Coronavirus (Covid-19) crisis that’s affecting the world at present. Therefore, I thought as a follow on to last week’s blog I would share a few suggestions to maintain a positive attitude in these challenging times: –

  1. Live in the present, defer worrying.

We can all spend lots of time locked in our heads imagining all sorts of scenarios that never actually happen. I was told once that 70% of what we worry about never happens, 25% is trivia and 5 % is out of our control. Save worrying until you actually have something to worry about. Remember happiness is a now experience.

  1. Be self –disciplined.

Use the current situation to reset your daily habits and routines. Set some small goals and take daily action towards achieving them. It could be you can use the present time to set a plan to lose weight, increase your fitness, do some DIY or declutter etc. You may also set a goal to increase your reading or listen to podcasts. Setting and achieving goals will increase your esteem and confidence. When we have a daily routine and rituals, it helps us to make the best use of our time.

  1. Show gratitude. Appreciate all that you have in life.

Take a few minutes each day to write down 10 things that you are grateful for. It helps you focus your mind on what you have rather than what you don’t have. This develops an abundance mindset rather than one of scarcity and lack. Also take the time to show your appreciation to people who support you and make your life easier. Like attracts like, this simple act of acknowledging all that’s good in your world will attract even more things to be grateful for.

  1. Practice self-care – make good health a priority.

If you have good health you have everything. It helps you to keep good energy levels and a positive frame of mind. Good health is the real wealth in life. Spend 30 minutes each day doing some aerobic exercise. This will help increase fitness and reduce body tension.

Good sleep helps the body to heal and repair. With this in mind, aim to get 7-9 hours of quality sleep every night. Count the calories and watch what you eat.

  1. Remember to laugh.

Nothing improves your mood and increases your energy levels more than a good belly laugh. The news coverage can contain lots of negative and sad stories, particularly at the present time. Therefore, it’s particularly important to regularly watch things that make you laugh.

Occasionally, give news bulletins and newspapers a miss and use the time to watch a favourite comedy show or film. Read something funny or look at a book of humorous cartoons.

  1. Keep a journal

If you do find that your mood dips or you are having a challenging time, one of the best things that I find helps is to write how you are feeling in a journal. There is no need to edit the words that you write, just note down whatever is on your mind and let your pen flow on the page. Writing in this way allows you to release any hurt, frustration or confused feelings. It helps to externalise what you are thinking and feeling and it brings clarity, calmness and a sense of balance.

I hope that you have found these thoughts useful and that they make a positive difference to your life. This week why not pause for a few moments and consider what steps you can take to maintain and increase your positivity.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

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