Month: February 2025 Page 1 of 2

“As I get older, the more I stay focused on the acceptance of myself and others, and choose compassion over judgment and curiosity over fear.” Tracee Ellis Ross.

There is so much chaos, conflict and uncertainty in the world at present, that it’s not always easy to have a feeling of inner peace. However, it is possible to do so with conscious focus and effort.

A key element of inner peace and calm is to be more accepting of situations and people. Rather than expending lots of energy wishing things and people were different or trying to rewrite history, we have to start working with “what is.”

Acceptance is defined in the dictionary as “The action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered.”  It is also defined as “The process or fact of being received as adequate, valid or suitable and agreement with or belief in an idea or explanation.”

In having greater acceptance in our life, we can start to focus our minds, time and energy on how we want things to be. With this clarity we will move things forward from where we are now. We can decide what we can do to build upon our current position and develop it into what we desire and aspire to.

There is a great quote by Socrates which we can use as a reminder of the power of acceptance and how it helps us deal effectively with change. He said: “The secret of change is to focus your energy not on fighting the old but building the new.”

How many times have you fallen into the trap, after something hasn’t gone as planned or as you envisaged, of replaying the situation in your mind and wishing it had a different outcome? This is easy to do but a pointless exercise because no matter how many times you replay it, what happened isn’t going to change. It is what it is.

Being more accepting of others allows us to be in a state of non-judgement and to have no malice towards them. As a result, we have greater tolerance of other people’s views and opinions. We accept people as they are rather than how we would like them to be. We start to look at their strengths and qualities rather than their flaws and weaknesses.

We can apply this principle to ourselves too and become more accepting of who we are. We can develop pride in our qualities, our accomplishments and achievements. We can expand our appreciation of the value we bring to the world and the contribution we make.

We can accept and use our natural gifts and talents rather than spend time and energy focusing on our weaknesses and what we lack. This also allows us to stop wasting time and energy comparing ourselves to others. Instead, we become more single minded and focused on our goals and desires.

When we encounter difficulty or challenges, we can choose to accept what is, take the lesson from it and move on with greater wisdom. After all, tomorrow is another day and yesterday ended last night!

We can learn much from Reinhold Niebuhr’s quotation:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

This week, why not pause for a few moments and consider if there are situations or people in your life where you need to develop greater acceptance. If so, what action will you take to do so?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” Lao Tzu.

Whilst out and about last week, I noticed lots of daffodils coming into flower. This was a very welcome sight. I always love this time of year when bulbs come out and provide some colour. It’s a sign that spring, summer and some warmer and hopefully sunnier weather is on its way.

It also gives me an opportunity to use a favourite story of mine about daffodils. I featured it in my first book ‘Be First Class’. It’s called The Daffodil Garden and I have included it below:

The Daffodil Garden

Every year, high in the San Bernardino mountain range of Southern California, five acres of beautiful daffodils burst into bloom. Amazingly, this special spot, known as “The Daffodil Garden,” was planted by one person, Gene Bauer, one bulb at a time, beginning in 1958. This story originally appeared in Jaroldeen Edwards’ book Celebration! The story contains details of a mother being taken to see the daffodils in bloom by her daughter Julie.

Apparently, Gene Bauer’s house (which was adjacent to the field of daffodils) had a poster on it which said: –

Answers to the questions I know that you are asking: –

• 50,000 bulbs
• One at a time
• By one woman
• 2 hands, 2 feet
• And very little brain
• Began in 1958

 
Gene Bauer planted one bulb at a time to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain top. Still, this unknown old woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. She had created something of magnificent beauty and inspiration by planting at least one bulb every day for many years until she got to 50,000 planted bulbs.

The life lessons her daffodil garden taught are:

• Learn to move towards our goals and desires one step at a time (often just one baby-step at a time)
• Ensure that we get pleasure from and love the doing
• Learn to use the accumulation of time

 
This is what the mother said to her daughter after seeing the flowers in full bloom: “It makes me sad in a way,” I admitted to Julie, “What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five years ago and had worked away at it ‘one bulb at a time’ through all those years. Just think what I might have been able to achieve!”

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her direct way, “Start tomorrow, Mum,” she said, “It’s so pointless to think of the lost hours of our yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson a celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, how can I put this to use today?”

This story also reminds us that we all have it in our gift to change the part of the world and environments that we occupy with our unique contribution.

The story also teaches us that even in these challenging times we can to make progress on our visions and goals with disciplined and determined actions.

I know from first-hand experience that over time small consistent actions lead to big results.

A habit that I recommend that you develop is to regularly review the progress you are making towards your personal goals. This will help you to make any adjustments to any action plans you have. Part of my formula for achieving goals is that I break them down into manageable chunks. This philosophy played a major part in helping me to write and publish two books in four years whilst working on other projects.

Life is all about margins. There’s often a tiny difference between winning and losing, perceived success and failure, hitting or missing a target. I’m sure you can think of examples from your own life experiences where the tiniest of margins determined the outcome of a situation. Thinking a goal is too large can make us feel overwhelmed, it can keep us stuck and stop us taking action to achieve it.

We all mistakenly think we need to keep taking massive action to get a result or make change happen in our life. The fact is small incremental steps accumulate into massive progress when combined with sustained disciplined action. One small action every day towards a specific goal, leads to 365 separate actions (366 in this leap year!). Achievement somehow seems bigger when you look at it like that!

This week, why not take a few moments out to reflect and consider what action step(s) you could take to make progress towards a personal task, goal or vision that you have.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

 “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” Leonardo da Vinci.

Last weekend, my wife and I went to a local National Trust property to have a look at the thousands of snowdrop bulbs that are currently in flower. It was a beautiful sunny day and it was a really pleasant outing. It served as a reminder that spring is just around the corner.

The start of spring always signals to me that it’s time for me to reflect. It’s a chance to consider if there is anything that I need to let go of in order to declutter and simplify my life. I feel that clearing clutter helps to create some space for growth, new projects and adventures.

Completing a decluttering exercise always provides me with a sense of completion and accomplishment and it energises me. It sharpens my focus, provides clarity on my key priorities moving forward and somehow makes me feel lighter.

Clutter is defined in the dictionary as a “crowded and untidy collection of things”. That is true but it is only part of the story and describes clutter on a physical level.

A more complete definition would be:

• Items that you no longer need, want or love.
• Things that are untidy and disorganized.
• Too many things in a small space.
• An overloaded busy mind, with too many priorities to focus on.
• Anything unfinished. This can be projects or emotions.

 
Clutter can affect us on a physical level and have a negative impact on our energy levels. It can lead us to feel tired and lethargic and make us feel stressed and overwhelmed. Valuable time can also be wasted as we search for things such as looking for a document in a pile of papers.

It can weigh us down, make us put things off, procrastinate and keep us stuck in the past. As a result, we may not be able to “see the wood for the trees” and there may be no room for anything new to come into our lives.

Disposing of clutter is an important part of the change process and aligns with the Socrates quote “The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old but on building the new.”

Why not pause for a moment and consider how much of your life, home and workspace is taken up with clutter.

Clutter prevents us from focusing on what’s really important and valuable to us, our key priorities and the people closest to us. Everything we have has a call on our attention and therefore the more clutter we possess means that more of our energy is tied up in mundane matters.

When we clear out the clutter, it allows us to focus and put the important things in our life into perspective rather than being bogged down in the details of day-to-day maintenance.

The process of clearing clutter is all about learning to let go. It isn’t just about letting go of the belongings but the feelings and fear that keep us holding onto an excess of stuff. Life is constantly changing, so when something comes into your life, enjoy it, use it well and when it is time, be prepared to let it go so that you can experience new things.

As well as physical clutter, our minds can become overloaded and we can suffer from mental clutter. This is a bi-product of the modern world and our access to many forms of technology and distraction. It’s said that our conscious brain can hold just 7 bits of information. Is it any wonder then that we can sometimes feel overloaded mentally given that we’re exposed to millions of bits of information every day?

This week, why not take some time to reflect and consider if you need to let go of anything physically or emotionally.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk