Month: March 2015 Page 1 of 2

We have reached spring and as I write this the daffodils in the garden are glistening from the brilliant sunshine that is streaming down.

Seeing this got me thinking that at this time of year, lots of people embark on a spring clean and get rid of some of their physical clutter.

An important part of the goal achievement process or when we pursue a change to our routine is to let go of mental clutter and thought and behaviour patterns that are not helpful and stop us fulfilling our potential.

When I support clients through transition I get them to think about what no longer serves them and what they need to let go of.

Doing this helps them create some mental space. It brings clarity on what they want and the steps they need to take to make their vision and goals a reality.

It is vital if you want to experience something new in life that you let go of old ways of thinking. The exercise described above is a great opportunity to get honest with yourself about what is holding you back, how you get in your own way and what needs to change.

I have listed below some of the thought and behaviour patterns that clients find helpful to release:-

• Self-criticism – we all make mistakes, things do not always work out as we plan. They say to err is human! How much time and energy would you save if instead of beating yourself up you focused on the learning? When something goes wrong – ask yourself “what has this taught me?” Learn the lesson and move on.

• Procrastination – I am always telling people to “live now and procrastinate later”. How much time do we waste thinking about a task or something we have to do? It is so easy to get into the habit of putting things off and distracting ourselves away from what needs to be done. When we get round to completing tasks quite often they are not as tough or don’t take as long to complete as we imagined. Get into the habit of breaking tasks into small chunks and take action. Being in action is far better than inaction!

• Striving for perfection – lots of people waste money, time and energy searching for perfection in projects and people, only to end up frustrated, disappointed and tired when they discover it doesn’t exist. Start striving for excellence rather than perfection! This slight tweak in your expectations will make life more pleasurable and less pressured. It is possible to achieve excellence every time. If you always look for perfection, you will always be empty handed.

• Always putting others needs before your own – many people have grown up with the belief that it is selfish to put themselves and their needs first. In lots of situations that simply is not true. Life is about give and take – we need to have a healthy balance in this area. Never putting yourself and your needs first does nothing for your self-esteem and self-worth. On a plane, during the safety announcement, they tell you in the event of an emergency to put your oxygen mask on first! If you have no oxygen you can’t help others! Take care of your needs first.

• The phrase “I can’t” – The messages that we send our sub-conscious brain almost certainly come true. They become a self- fulfilling prophecy (our thoughts drive our behaviour which drives our self-talk and ultimately our results!). If you tell yourself that you can’t do something that will become the case. Instead say, “I can do this and I will figure out exactly how.”

• Ignoring instincts (intuition) – have you ever had an instinct about something or somebody and allowed your brain to talk you out of following that gut feeling, only to regret it later? Having space in our minds allows us to hear those subtle powerful messages that our intuition provides. Have the confidence to follow your intuition more frequently.

• Limiting beliefs – “I am not experienced enough”, “I am too old to do this”, and “I can’t do this” are a few examples of the way people limit themselves with their thinking. We all need to be careful what we think about and wish for, as these thoughts so easily become our reality. When these thoughts appear get into the habit, of asking yourself “is this really true?” Then consciously start creating more empowering and positive beliefs.

This week, why not take a few moments to think about if there is anything that no longer serves you and that you need to let go of?

Quote for the week:

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be” Lao Tzu

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

I was doing some leadership development coaching with a client recently.

He has just been appointed to his position. The team he has inherited is established but has experienced lots of recent change including the loss of some key members of staff through a reorganisation.

The team were very pleasant but a little reserved and my client said that didn’t offer many ideas at team meetings. They appeared to require lots of direction which did not really fit with his inclusive leadership style. He said that he wanted to create a more open and high performance culture.

I suggested that in order to have a greater understanding of the present position and size of the task that we ask the employees to complete a survey.

I based the design of this on the work of Jon Katzenbach and Douglas Smith, who wrote about the characteristics of High Performance Teams.

They define these characteristics as:

• Sense of purpose – Common and shared vision, goals and objectives.

• Open communication – People express their thoughts and feelings freely

• Trust and mutual respect – People value and support others. . They tell each other the truth and provide honest caring feedback.

• Shared leadership – Different team members assume leadership depending on the task at hand.

• Effective working procedures – The team knows how to gather, organise and evaluate information.

• Building on differences – The team optimises the skills, knowledge and personal strengths of its members.

• Flexibility and adaptability – People see changes as opportunities.

• Continuous learning – Team members learn from their experiences and mistakes

One of the key findings from the survey was that many of the employees said that they felt there was a lack of trust in the team. I always think that trust is an interesting thing to define. We know when we trust something or someone but we can’t always define what we mean by trust.

The dictionary defines trust as a firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.

The team explained what they meant by a lack of trust. They said that they did not feel trusted. It appears that my client’s predecessor had been very directive in their management style and described by some as a micro manager. The team did not feel empowered or trusted to come up with solutions and ideas, so did not bother to stick their heads above the parapet!

They also said that a lack of communication or consultation about changes and reorganisation of resources had impacted on trust levels.

I have listed below some tips that I have devised to help leaders develop greater trust in their teams. I used these as a framework to help my client create his own action plan to address the challenges and meet his aspirations for the team

Some tips to develop greater trust in teams:-

• Be approachable, honest and open in your dealings – the world is crying out for transparency. Be consistent and fair in how you deal with people

• Communicate swiftly and honestly when major change is proposed. Explain the rationale for change and seek feedback and opinions on the proposals

• Clarify your values and guiding principles of your organisation and involve your team in bringing them to life in their interactions with each other, customers and suppliers. Lead by example and ensure that you role model these values and principles and not just talk about them!

• Show you are human and make mistakes too! Encourage an environment where mistakes are communicated quickly, dealt with and learning points are gleaned.

• Avoid the temptation to micro-manage – show confidence in your team and regularly seek their views and input on what is working or needs to change in order to develop performance.

This week, why not take some time to think about the teams that you are involved with. How are trust levels? Are there any changes that can be made to increase trust amongst team members?

Quote for the week:

“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships” Stephen Covey

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

As this week sees The International Day of Happiness celebrated throughout the world (on Friday 20 March) I decided I would make happiness the topic of this week’s blog.

The International Day of Happiness recognizes the relevance of happiness and well-being as universal goals and aspirations in the lives of human beings. It was established by the United Nations General Assembly on 28 June 2012.

Happiness is a fuzzy concept and can mean many things to many people. Part of the challenge of a science of happiness is to identify different concepts of happiness, and where applicable, split them into their components.

The dictionary defines happiness as a fortunate state expressing or characterised by content, well–being or pleasure.

There are many things that can have a positive impact on happiness levels and these can vary from person to person. When I have asked clients what makes them happy, I have had many varied responses including success at work, sporting triumph, listening to music, watching children enjoy themselves, time by the sea, reading a good book, going for a run, going to the cinema etc.

Whilst doing some research for this piece, I found that in 2013 happiness levels in Britain had improved on the previous year with major national events such as the Olympics potentially having a positive effect on people’s state of mind.

The Office for National Statistics asked 165,000 adults over the age of 16 how satisfied they are with their life on a scale of zero to 10, where zero was “not at all” and 10 was “completely”.

The average score for the UK was 7.45, up from 7.41 in 2012, with women slightly happier than men.

The research also showed that young adults and pensioners feel happiest, with the middle-aged least content. Happiness starts to decline after the age of 19, reaching its lowest level in the 45-49 age bracket but rises through people’s 50s to hit a peak in the 70-74 age range.

Action for Happiness is a movement of people committed to building a happier and more caring society – by making positive changes in their personal lives, homes, workplaces and communities.

The Dalai Lama is the patron of the movement, which has tens of thousands of members around the world. They have created a Happiness Pack which you can download at www.dayofhappiness.net

The pack addresses the question – “What really makes us happy?” The Ten Keys to Happier Living (summarised by the mnemonic GREAT DREAM) are shown below.

They were developed for Action for Happiness based on the latest findings from the science of wellbeing.

They are all areas which research shows tend to make a big difference to our happiness and are within our control:

• Giving – Do things for others

• Relating – Connect with people

• Exercising – Take care of your body

• Appreciating – Notice the world around you

• Trying out – Keep learning new things

• Direction – Have goals to look forward to

• Resilience – Find ways to bounce back

• Emotion – Take a positive approach

• Acceptance – Be comfortable with who you are

• Meaning – Be part of something bigger

The pack also provides five simple but proven suggestions that we can all do to help create a happier and more connected world:

1. Doing something kind for others – what goes around comes around – and with kindness it really does. Research shows that being kind to others increases our own levels of happiness as well as theirs. What’s more it has a knock on effect – kindness is contagious, so it makes our communities nicer places to be.

2. Volunteer your time, energy and skills – Whether it’s a one off or something you do on a regular basis, volunteering is good all round. As well as making a positive contribution to the happiness of others, it’s a great way to meet people, get the most out of your local area and to increase your own happiness and wellbeing.

3. Get to know your neighbours better – Getting to know the people that live nearby helps to create a sense of belonging and shared identity in our local areas. It also helps to strengthen connections and trust in our wider communities and contributes to a happier neighbourhood for everyone

4. Understand each other’s needs – Good communication is at the heart of happy relationships of all kinds. It’s about understanding others’ needs and having our needs heard. And it’s a skill that can be learned that will help deepen our connections with the people around us.

5. Look for the good in those around you – It’s easy to take our nearest and dearest for granted. Constant criticism can be highly destructive but we often fall into this trap, especially in established relationships. But if we take time to bring to mind what we value and appreciate about others, we can all get more enjoyment from our time together.

This week take a moment to reflect and think about what you can do to increase your and other’s happiness levels. Is there something specific you can do to mark The International Day of Happiness and help make the world a happier and more caring place?

Quote for the week:

“Be happy with what you have and are, be generous with both, and you won’t have to hunt for happiness” William E. Gladstone

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk