Month: October 2020 Page 1 of 2

“Good health is not something we can buy. However, it can be an extremely valuable savings account.” Anne Wilson Schaef.

I’ve been doing some reflection over the past week and thinking about 2020 and some of the challenges posed by Coronavirus (Covid-19). Whilst reflecting, it occurred to me that one of the lessons we can draw from this year is that, good health is the real wealth in life. If we’re not fit and well, it isn’t easy for us to experience and appreciate all that life has to offer.

Therefore, self-care has to be a priority for us all. It’s important that we set sufficient time aside to look after ourselves, stay in top condition and avoid burn-out. As Mother Teresa said “To keep a lamp burning we have to keep putting oil in it.”

I always think that when it comes to self-care, we can learn from the safety announcement they make on planes at the start of flights. In such circumstances, the flight attendants always tell us that in the event of an emergency to put our oxygen mask on first because without oxygen or energy we won’t be in a position to help anyone else. I believe this is a great metaphor for life.

Over the years, I’ve seen lots of people juggle many different priorities and struggle to sustain high performance levels and lead balanced and happy lives. Many high performers have high standards and expectations. As a result, they push themselves very hard and towards burn-out.

In such circumstances it’s important that they establish some healthy habits and behaviours as a way to avoid burn-out. Life balance is so vital to stay healthy and in order to sustain high levels of performance. As well as establishing habits focused on healthy living, we also need to establish strong boundaries, be comfortable saying no and asking for help when we need to.

Periodically, we have to apply our own oxygen mask and put ourselves first so that we can be the best we can be and have good energy levels in order to help others. Many people put others needs in front of their own, as they feel it self-indulgent to put themselves first. They feel to do so is selfish and makes them feel guilty.

It’s important that we all put some time aside and adopt some habits to take care of ourselves. This is particularly important if you work in an office environment or spend lots of time in front of a computer.

A study published in The Lancet said office workers must exercise for one hour a day to combat the deadly risk of modern working lifestyles.

Research by scientists at Cambridge University, on more than one million adults found that sitting for at least eight hours a day can increase the risk of premature death by up to 60 per cent. Scientists said sedentary lifestyles were now posing as great a threat to public health as smoking and were causing more deaths than obesity.

They urged anyone spending hours at their desk to change their daily routine to take a five minute break every hour, as well as exercising at lunchtimes and in the evenings. They said that an hour of brisk walking or cycling spread over a day is enough to combat the dangers of eight hours sitting in the office.

Another important element of self-care is to seek to avoid negative people and environments that drag you down. As part of this strategy, ensure that you spend time with people who radiate energy and help increase your energy levels and not deplete them!

This week why not take some time and consider if you need to practice greater self-care or take some action to increase your energy levels.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.” Plutarch.

I thought that I would make mental health the topic of this week’s blog, as last Saturday was World Mental Health Day. The day came at a time when our lives have changed dramatically as a result of Covid-19 pandemic. The past months have brought challenges for many people including health and care workers who have seen the impact of the virus first hand.

The joint press release by the World Health Organization, United for Global Mental Health and the World Federation for Mental Health stated that mental health is one of the most neglected areas of public health. Close to 1 billion people are living with a mental disorder, 3 million people die every year from the harmful use of alcohol and one person dies every 40 seconds by suicide. And now, billions of people around the world have been affected by the COVID-19 pandemic, which is having a further impact on people’s mental health.

As I sat down to the write this piece, it occurred to me that many people spend time exercising to maintain good physical health. However, very few people take appropriate action to sustain good mental well-being.

There has historically been a stigma attached to discussing mental health, with many scared to open up about their challenges for fear of being judged and seen as weak. Mental health issues are growing in young people and some of this is put down to the influence of social media and the pressure people feel to fit in and to look and be perceived in a certain way by others.

My research for this blog enabled me to find some valuable information on mental well-being various websites. I found some interesting statistics.

According to the Mental Health Foundation:

• Mixed anxiety & depression is the most common mental disorder in Britain, with 7.8% of people meeting criteria for diagnosis.
• 4-10% of people in England will experience depression in their lifetime.
• Common mental health problems such as depression and anxiety are distributed according to a gradient of economic disadvantage across society. The poorer and more disadvantaged are disproportionately affected by common mental health problems and their adverse consequences.
• Mixed anxiety and depression have been estimated to cause one fifth of days lost from work in Britain.
• One adult in six has a common mental disorder.

A World Health Organisation report suggested that one in four people in the world will be affected by mental or neurological disorders at some point in their lives.

Mental health problems can affect anyone, any day of the year. You can show support for better mental health by chatting to friends, family or work colleagues about this important topic. You can also think about your own wellbeing too. You could even join one of campaigns by mental health charities such as Mind to help make sure no one experiences a mental health problem alone.

The Mind charity do great work and exist to help create better mental health. They suggest that mental wellbeing describes your mental state, how you are feeling and how well you can cope with day-to-day life. Our mental wellbeing is dynamic. It can change from moment to moment, day to day, month to month or year to year. It’s influenced by life events and experiences.

If we have good mental wellbeing, we’re able to:

• Feel relatively confident in our self and have positive self-esteem.
• Feel and express a range of emotions.
• Build and maintain good relationships with others.
• Feel engaged with the world around us.
• Live and work productively.
• Cope with the stresses of daily life.
• Adapt and manage in times of change and uncertainty.

The Mind website covers some ideas to stay mentally well and develop our ability to cope with the up and downs of life.

These include:

Think about what is affecting your wellbeing

We’re all different. What affects someone’s mental wellbeing won’t necessarily affect others in the same way. But we all have times when we have low mental wellbeing, where we feel stressed, upset or find it difficult to cope.

Build positive relationships

Connecting with others can help us to feel a greater sense of belonging and can help to challenge feelings of loneliness.

Take time for yourself

At times you may feel guilty for spending time on yourself. But it’s essential for your wellbeing and can help you to be more resilient. This may include regular meditation or mindfulness.

Look after your mental health

If you’re living with a mental health problem, taking steps to look after your mental health can help you improve your wellbeing. Tell people what helps you. Let friends and family know how they can support you.

Look after your physical health

Looking after your body can help to keep you mentally well. Making small, gradual changes can have a positive impact on your mental wellbeing, try to start with one or two things you feel able to do.

Ask for help if you need it

Think about treatment options. If you’re finding things really difficult, you might walk to talk to your doctor about any support services in your local area. You might want to try counselling to talk through the things you’re finding challenging with a trained professional.

This week why not take a few minutes out to reflect and think about mental well-being. What action can you take to ensure you maintain good mental health? Alternatively, what help can you give to someone who may be finding life challenging at present.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it.” Maya Angelou.

It’s a special blog this week, as it’s the 350^th blog that I’ve published on consecutive weeks since the first one. It’s fair to say that as a result of the Coronavirus (Covid-19) pandemic that has affected the world in 2020, this year has been a pretty challenging and gloomy one for many people.

As a result, I wanted this week’s blog to have a positive and uplifting story and a message of hope. My writing this week was inspired by a film called Marvellous that I really enjoyed watching just after I started publishing these blogs in 2014. It’s a true story of a life lived to the full, a man once labelled with ‘learning difficulties’ whose life defies limitations. I thoroughly recommend watching the film if you get the opportunity.

The film tells the beautiful, funny, true story of Neil Baldwin, who has been a circus clown; a lay preacher; kit man at Stoke City football club (former manager Lou Macari has often described him as his best-ever signing). He is on first name terms with leading sportsmen and senior clergy. He was awarded an Honorary Degree by Keele University for the contributions he has made to campus life there across the last 50 years.

There were many simple pieces of wisdom throughout the film which we can all learn from. For instance, someone asked Neil how he stayed so positive. He said that he always wanted to be happy, so he decided to be! He said that if bad things happen, he just thought about the good things. He remarked that none of us are getting any younger but that’s life and we have to make the most of it.

In one scene he is talking to his friend about how he watched the annual university boat race on the Thames from the umpire’s boat each year. His friend asked him how he wangled that. Neil said “I asked.” The friend said “you can’t do that by asking.” Neil paused and simply said “I can.”

This scene got me thinking about what stops us all asking for help or for what we want. I wondered what we miss out on when we don’t ask for what we want. I’ve found that people don’t ask for help for what they want because they don’t want to impose on people, look foolish, stupid, needy or weak. Another major reason is that they afraid of being rejected and hearing the word no.

Many years ago, I participated in a training event attended by several hundred people. As part of the workshop we all had to talk to fellow participants about something we were really passionate about and seek their help. We also had to listen to other’s stories and consider their requests for help. We had to talk to as many people as possible in a designated timeframe.

One of the rules of the exercise was that we had to say no to nine people and were only allowed to say yes to the tenth person we spoke to. It did not matter how persuasive or moving the story was or how passionate the person was, we could only say yes on one out of ten occasions.

It was a really interesting exercise, you learned that the more you ask, the more likely you are to get a yes. It helped you to get used to handling rejection. Additionally, you realised that just because you didn’t get a yes immediately it wasn’t because your story wasn’t compelling or people didn’t believe in it. It was just not the right time and they weren’t in a position to help at that moment. If you approached them at a later time, they may be able to help and say yes.

One of the big realisations for me was the good feeling that I had when I was able to say yes and help people. I’m sure that I’m not alone in feeling good when I’m able to help others.

Here are a few tips in asking for what you want:

• If you don’t ask the answer is already no! The more you ask the more likely you are to get a yes.
• Be clear and specific about what it is that you want or need help with.
• If you get a no, don’t take it personally. It isn’t rejection; it’s just that your request didn’t resonate with the person at that time.
• Be confident in the way that you ask for help. Talk from the heart and with passion but guard against being too pushy and making people feel uncomfortable.
• Observe and respond to the person’s body language.
• When you get a “no” tell yourself that you are one step closer to getting a yes.
• Follow up. When you ask for help and get a yes. Say thank you and keep the person informed on how things are going.

This week why not take some time out to pause and reflect to consider what you need to ask for.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk