Month: April 2025 Page 1 of 2

    “It’s nice to be important but it’s more important to be nice.” John Templeton.

I was talking with a friend recently and we agreed that there is so much conflict and nastiness creeping into the world. There appears to be much anger and resentment expressed on social media and many examples of people being generally unpleasant to each other.

I find this really sad, as I was brought up to have respect for other people and to be pleasant and kind to others. My dad had some words of wisdom about how you should behave as you progressed in your career and these words have stuck with me. He used to say, “it’s important to be nice to people on your way to the top of the ladder, as you meet the same people on the way down!”

It’s impossible for us to influence everyone in the world and some events are outside our control. However, we can make a difference in the situations that are within our sphere of control and influence. With this in mind, here are a few simple ideas on how you can ensure that you’re nice and help to make your part of the world a better place:

1. Think about others before you think about yourself.
2. Say “please” and “thank you”.
3. Smile frequently.
4. Ensure that you apologise and say sorry when you need to.
5. Turn off mobile phones when in conversation with others in order to give them your full attention. This includes family meal times.
6. Respect other people’s time by ensuring you are on time for appointments.
7. Be positive and look for ways to make people feel good about themselves.
8. Ensure that when you give your word, that you keep your promises.
9. Develop the skill of empathy and practice humility.
10. Perform some random acts of kindness without expectation of being acknowledged or thanked.

I know that these ideas are simple but simplicity contains great power. As Leonardo da Vinci said “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”

When we’re kind we show people what they mean to us and it’s also a way of expressing our appreciation. Even an act of kindness to a stranger sends out a signal that their life is important and that they matter.

We can be nice by offering a word of encouragement, a kind gesture or giving an uplifting message. This has the ability to lift someone’s mood and spirit. We can brighten another person’s day with just a few nice words.

How much better would the world be if we all took a little bit more time to be nicer to each other?

This week, why not pause for a few moments to reflect and consider what practical action you can take to help the world to be a nicer place.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk;

“Resilience is all about being able to overcome the unexpected. Sustainability is about survival. The goal of resilience is to thrive.” Jamais Cascio.

I mentioned in last week’s blog that I have supported my football team, Peterborough United since I was a child. It has been a challenging season for the team. We had to sell lots of our players at the end of last season and start building a new squad. As a result, we now have the youngest squad in the entire football league. When you have a young team, you tend to get inconsistent results. Experience shows that they will get brilliant results one week and turn in poor performances the next.

Given how challenging the season has been, it was fantastic to be present at Wembley stadium last Sunday to watch the Vertu Trophy final, when my team pulled off a brilliant victory against Birmingham City. Most people including expert pundits expected Birmingham City to win easily. We won the game 2-0. In doing so, Peterborough United made history by becoming the only side to win the trophy in successive seasons and equal the record for winning the trophy the most times.

The victory last Sunday was hard fought. The young team had to show great resilience and belief despite some poor results in the week before the final. I was impressed by their resilience in the face of much pressure in the game and the challenges they’ve faced this season. They achieved their goal of winning the trophy and became record breakers against all the odds.

Resilience requires us all to develop the ability to cope with relentless change and to be flexible in our thinking. The capacity to quickly recover from difficulties, set-backs, challenges and disappointments is a great quality to possess and builds our self-confidence and esteem.

It may be that the ability to adapt and bounce back is stronger in some people than others. However, with focus and attention you can develop your resilience just as you can build up muscles through regular exercise. I believe that having great resilience and the capability to find extra reserves of energy when required are vital to help people to flourish and thrive.

Certain conditions in people’s lives help them to be resilient. These include having a few people to talk to without feeling judged and also receiving regular encouragement from others. Maintaining good health and physical condition with regular exercise, sufficient sleep and a healthy diet play an important role. Being involved in community projects, charitable causes, staying optimistic and expecting things to work out for the best also help.

Here are some ideas to help you to develop resilience:

Goal setting

Having personal goals, even small every day ones help you to look towards the future with optimism and provide a sense of accomplishment once completed. Goals you’ve achieved in the past are a strong reference point in the future when you’re pursuing something and the going gets tough.

Acceptance and positive expectations

Accept that you are unable to change the past and focus your energy on the present moment, your growth and development. Have positive expectations of success and create a mechanism to review your progress. Maintain a positive attitude and optimistic outlook.

Make room in your life for laughter and fun

The ability to maintain a sense of humour and to see the funny side of a situation when facing a challenge is a great coping mechanism. It helps to relieve stress and keep your spirits up.

Remember how you conquered previous challenges

When you face a fresh challenge remind yourself how you conquered a previous challenge and the learnings that you took from the experience. It’s good to have clarity about strategies that helped you cope with previous hardship.

The importance of self-care

Take care of your needs and feelings both physically and emotionally. Engage in hobbies and pastimes that you really enjoy and contribute positively to your overall wellbeing. Get sufficient sleep each night and exercise daily.

Maintain a journal

This helps to externalise your feelings and provides a sense of clarity and perspective. It quite often allows you to view situations in a different way and conjures up new perspectives for you to consider. It can help you to create some new ideas, approaches and action plans that you can practically apply.

This week, why not pause for a few moments to reflect and consider what action you can take to develop your resilience.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk;

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” Helen Keller.

I have loved sport all my life and have followed my football team, Peterborough United, since I was 9 years old. I’ve always been fascinated by the part that confidence plays in performance. Over the years I’ve seen the impact that a lack of confidence has on individual and team results. It’s easy to spot the difference when teams are playing with high confidence levels.

Also in my career, I’ve met many people with high levels of intelligence and technical ability but a lack of self-confidence. This meant that they were reserved in their interactions with others and didn’t defend their point of view when challenged by more opinionated and overbearing colleagues. Quite often they were risk averse and didn’t fulfil their potential.

Confidence is the strength of our belief in our capabilities to perform at a certain level, learn new things and achieve goals. When we are confident, we feel ready to explore all the possibilities that life offers. We feel more equipped to take risks and seize opportunities. It helps us to perform at our best professionally or when we engage in sporting and other leisure activities. It also has a positive effect on our happiness levels.

When we’re in a confident state, we embrace life’s challenges and see them as a chance to grow, evolve and learn something new. We don’t run away from situations, we stand up, take responsibility for making change happen rather than wish that things were different.

When we feel confident, we’re willing to stretch ourselves, move out of our comfort zone and into new territory. We overcome any nerves or anxiety that we may be feeling and move on regardless. We do this content in the knowledge that things will turn out how they are meant to.

Having a confident feeling also enables us to cope better with set-backs and provides the momentum and drive to persevere when pursuing goals. When we take action and get results it helps to bolster and top up our confidence levels. Taking control of our destiny helps us to feel good and resourceful.

It’s still possible to feel confident but also have a sense of anxiety about important projects or issues. However, the difference between confident and less confident people isn’t about how much they feel fear. It’s about how confident people cope with those feelings and deal with their situations regardless of any fears or doubts.

Beliefs play a strong role in developing confidence. As Henry Ford once said, “If you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re probably right.” Our beliefs mould and influence our behaviour. Whatever we believe dictates how we respond to situations and the people we meet in our lives. If we believe we will always find a way to succeed no matter what, we’re more likely to do just that.

Most of our beliefs are formed by the age of seven. They’re shaped by our parents, grandparents, relatives, teachers, past experiences, media, culture, peers, friends & religion. Aside from physical differences, it’s our diverse experiences/interactions, schooling etc. that make us all different and unique.

In most cases we don’t realise what our beliefs consist of or how we have formed them. Yet they influence every moment of every day. Every belief has a structure to it which we can change if we choose to.

It’s like carrying a recording in our heads. If the recording is working for us, we can keep it, maybe updating or refining it from time to time. However, if the recording is limiting what we think about ourselves, we can take it out and re- record it, so we have one that is working for us.

We accept opinions from influential people in our lives and hold them as facts. They aren’t facts at all but perceptions formed through our own experience and other’s views. If we want to change our results it starts with changing our beliefs.

Beliefs define how we think and talk to ourselves (our self-talk). In turn, this determines how we behave.  If we’re overly fearful about our prospects, we need to start talking to ourselves in a more empowering and positive way. This will make us feel better and our results are likely to be more positive.

There are two types of belief; empowering (where we believe we can achieve). They propel us forward towards our goals, we feel confident and good about ourselves. The opposite is limiting beliefs; these hold us back, hinder us and make us feel bad/less confident.

A famous example of how people changed their beliefs and conventional wisdom is Roger Bannister breaking the four-minute mile record. People urged him not to try it, telling him it was dangerous and life threatening. He remained confident in his ability to achieve this monumental feat. He persevered and broke the record. Once he’d achieve it, four runners broke the record in a year.

All of us have the power and control over our beliefs which have an important role in shaping our self-talk, thoughts and confidence levels. This influences our behaviour and ultimately our results.

This week, why not pause for a few moments to reflect and consider what steps you can take to increase your confidence levels.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk;