Month: January 2015 Page 1 of 2

Nobody is right 100% of the time

On January 27, 2015

I came across a great little story by Valerie Cox called “The Cookie Thief” recently and it got me thinking that life is all about opinions.

What is right for one person is not always right for another.

I believe that us all holding different perspectives and viewpoints is good, as it helps us all to reach better and more balanced solutions. This is on the proviso that any discussion about differences of opinion is handled in the right way and each person is given the same opportunity to express their views and feelings on a topic.

In my opinion, diversity of views and ideas is something to be encouraged and time spent developing a greater tolerance and understanding of people who have different opinions to our own is time well spent.

It is impossible for us to be experts in all areas of life. Prior to making a big decision or when goal setting it is helpful to seek the thoughts and input of others and for them to share their knowledge and experience.

We are all human and none of us are perfect. At times it is extremely beneficial to solicit other people’s perspectives and their point of view on challenges and issues, in doing so we may get a fresh insight or better still a “lightbulb” moment.

We learn more from listening than talking, so on occasions it’s helpful to talk less and listen more. After all we have two ears and one mouth for a reason.

None of us are right one hundred per cent of the time.

However, like me, you have probably met or know people who (in their world) are always right! They do not back down, never admit when they make a mistake and are petrified of showing their vulnerability or any sign of weakness. It must be exhausting to maintain that state of being permanently.

I am sure you too have encountered people that would argue that the colour black is in fact white! If you come across people like that in the future and feel yourself getting irritated and frustrated by their attitude remind yourself of “The Cookie Thief” story, smile inside and reduce your stress levels. It made me laugh when I read it and I hope that you enjoy reading it too.

The Cookie Thief

A woman was waiting at an airport one night. With several long hours before her flight, she bought a book and a bag of cookies. She then found a place where she could sit and do her reading.

She was engrossed in her book but noticed that the man beside her was grabbing some cookies “from the bag between.” She tried to ignore the situation because she wanted to avoid making a scene.

The situation continued for some time. As she read and munched her cookies, the man was continuing to eat the cookies, too. She also continued to ignore him but she told herself, “If I wasn’t so nice, I’d blacken his eye!”

Then, finally, there was only one cookie left. The man took the last cookie and broke it in half. With a smile on his face, he offered her half and ate the other. She took the other half and thought, “This guy has some nerve, and he’s also rude. He didn’t even show any gratitude.”

Right there and then, she wanted to say something but her flight was called. She gathered all her belongings and headed for the gate, refusing to look back at the “cookie thief.” She boarded the plane and continued reading her book. In the middle of the flight, she reached for her back pack and “gasped with surprise.” She found her bag of cookies inside it.

“If mine are here,” she said, “then the cookies we were eating were his and he tried to share them with me.” It was too late to apologise. She realized that she was the rude one and not the man she labelled “the cookie thief.”

This week remind yourself that life is all about opinions and perspectives. If you have a difference of opinion with someone, seek to see it from their point of view. As they say, there are always two sides to a coin and every story!

The Cookie Thief was written by Valerie Cox and featured in Chicken Soup for the Soul by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen

This week’s quotation:

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” Voltaire

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

A daily 20 minute walk helps you to live longer

By Stephen Pauley

On January 20, 2015

In Business

In this blog previously I have talked about the positive effect of small actions applied consistently lead to the achievement of big results.

One of the personal daily goals and disciplines that I introduced last year was to do a minimum of twenty minutes walking each day as part of my weekly exercise activity.

I had previously been a member of a gym but had not always found it easy to fit visits into my busy weekly schedule. This meant that my gym membership proved to be quite expensive!

In devising the daily walking goal, I felt it would be easier to accommodate into my schedule than regular trips to the gym. As a result I felt more confident that I would stick to the discipline and achieve the goal I set for myself. I am pleased to say that I have achieved the daily walk target and I feel fitter and more energised as a result.

Given the above, I was therefore interested and pleased to read a story on the mail online website last week about a Cambridge University Research study which reinforced the benefits of regular exercise/self- care.

The study of 334,000 people found that even a modest amount of activity prolonged life and the least fit had the most to gain.

Twenty minutes of walking a day or its equivalent would cut their risk of premature death by almost a third. The researchers were not able to quantify how much extra life could be gained through using exercise in this way to move from the “inactive” to the “moderately inactive” part of the population. It is suggested that the obese could expect a 16% reduced risk of dying early. Those of healthy weight could profit by 30%.

The study was led by Ulf Ekelund who said “This is a simple message just a small amount of physical activity each day could have substantial health benefits for people who are physically inactive.”

The researchers estimated that 337,000 of 9.2 million recorded deaths of European men and women were attributed to obesity. But twice this number – around 676,000 deaths could be blamed on inactivity.

Government guidelines advise Britons to do 150 minutes of moderate activity such as gardening, dancing or brisk walking or 75 minutes of vigorous exercise including playing sport, running or aerobics every week. But a recent survey found that a third of people can barely manage to walk for 30 minutes over seven days, even when trips to the shops, work or school are considered.

Professor Nick Wareham, Director of the Medical research Council epidemiology unit at Cambridge said: “Helping people to lose weight can be a real challenge and whilst we should continue to aim at reducing population levels of obesity, public health interventions that encourage people to make small but achievable changes in physical activity can have significant health benefits and may be easier to achieve and maintain.”

This week why not spend a few minutes considering if there are some small actions that you could introduce to increase your self-care.

This week’s quotation:

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live” Jim Rohn

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

What stops you asking for what you want?

By Stephen Pauley

On January 13, 2015

In Business, Positive Attitude

A few weeks ago I really enjoyed watching a great film called Marvellous, a true story of a life lived to the full, a man once labelled with ‘learning difficulties’ whose life defies limitations. I thoroughly recommend watching the film if you get the opportunity.

The film tells the beautiful, funny, true story of Neil Baldwin, who has been a circus clown; a lay preacher; kit man at Stoke City (Lou Macari has often described him as his best-ever signing). He is on first name terms with leading sportsmen and senior clergy. He was awarded an Honorary Degree by Keele University for the contributions he has made to campus life there across the last 50 years.

There were many simple pieces of wisdom throughout the programme which we can all learn from.

For instance, someone asked Neil how he stayed so positive. He said that he always wanted to be happy, so he decided to be! He said that if bad things happen, he just thought about the good things. He remarked that none of us are getting any younger but that’s life and we have to make the most of it.

In one scene he is talking to his friend about how he watched the annual university boat race on the Thames from the umpire’s boat each year. His friend asked him how he wangled that. Neil said “I asked.” The friend said “you can’t do that by asking.” Neil paused and simply said “I can.”

This scene got me thinking about what stops us all asking for help or for what we want.

I wondered what we miss out on when we don’t ask. I have found that people do not ask for help or what they want because they do not want to impose on people, look foolish, stupid, needy or weak. Another major reason is that they afraid of being rejected and hearing the word no.

Many years ago, I participated in a training event attended by several hundred people. As part of the workshop we all had to talk to fellow participants about something we were really passionate about and seek their help.

We also had to listen to other’s stories and consider their requests for help. We had to talk to as many people as possible in a designated time frame.

One of the rules of the exercise was that we had to say no to nine people and were only allowed to say yes to the tenth person we spoke to. It did not matter how persuasive or moving the story was or how passionate the person was, we could only say yes on one out of ten occasions.

It was a really interesting exercise, you learned that the more you ask, the more likely you are to get a yes. It helped you to get used to handling rejection.

Additionally, you realised that just because you did not get a yes immediately it was not because your story was not compelling or people did not believe in it, it was just not the right time and they were not in a position to help at that moment. If you approached them at a later time they may be able to help and say yes.

One of the big realisations for me was the good feeling that I had when I was able to say yes and help people. I am sure I am not alone in feeling good when I am able to help others.

Here are a few tips in asking for what you want:

• If you don’t ask the answer is already no! The more you ask the more likely you are to get a yes

• Be clear and specific about what it is that you want or need help with

• If you get a no, don’t take it personally. It is not rejection; it is just that your request did not resonate with the person at that time

• Be confident in the way that you ask for help. Talk from the heart and with passion but guard against being too pushy and making people feel uncomfortable. Observe and respond to the person’s body language.

• When you get a “no” tell yourself that you are one step closer to getting a yes

• Follow up. When you ask for help and get a yes. Say thank you and keep the person informed on how things are going.

This week, why not pause and consider what you need to ask for.

This week’s quotation:

“Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it” Maya Angelour

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk