Month: March 2018 Page 1 of 2

“Make the most of the best and the least of the worst.” Robert Louis Stephenson.

Sadly, I have had to attend a couple of funerals over the past couple of months. Whilst they are sad and sober occasions, they do provide the opportunity to celebrate and give thanks for someone’s life. Recently, since attending the funerals, a phrase that has been running around my head is “life is precious”. I therefore decided to write a piece on this theme.

Death is part of the natural cycle of life and inevitably at some point we all have to cope with the loss of people close to us. We also know that one day our own life will come to end. When we suffer the loss of people from our family and network, it provides us with an opportunity to pause, reflect and think about what is important in our life.

It always occurs to me at such times, that people just before they die probably don’t say to themselves I wish I had worked longer hours! I’m sure they don’t sweat the small stuff and think about their to do lists, the frustration of traffic jams or the number of unanswered e mails in their inbox.

It’s a good opportunity for us to remind ourselves of our greatest priorities and to do our best to lead a healthy lifestyle so that we can make the best of our life. I believe it’s important to respect the gift of life. By this I mean to make the most of the talents and gifts that we have been given and aim to fulfill our potential. It also helps to ensure that we do what we can to help others and make a positive contribution to society.

It also provides us with a reminder to forgive ourselves and others quickly and to not hold onto bad feeling or let petty disagreements grow and get larger. It can nudge us to let go of negative energy and unnecessary worry and anxiety.

Whilst sad, a loss of this nature may give us a bit of a wake up call. It may get us to think about what we would like to achieve and experience in our life and provide some added motivation to take steps to accomplish our desires.

A friend once asked me when he was feeling dissatisfied with the state and direction of his life what I would write on his tombstone to sum up his legacy and achievements. I said to him that whilst I would answer the question honestly, it was more important for him to get clarity on what he would like to see written about him.

I explained that once he was clear about what he wanted people to say about his contribution, qualities and his legacy, he could set about being the type of person that justified such words. If he walked his talk that would more than likely be the legacy that he left behind.

Interestingly, just prior to sitting down to write this piece I read a short story about Albert Schweitzer (1865-1965) in Life’s Greatest Lessons by Hal Urban.

Schweitzer was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for humanitarian service and is known for the phrase “reverence for life”. One of the things that he struggled with for many years was the formation of a philosophy that captured the meaning of life.

In his autobiography, he tells the story of making a slow and difficult 160 mile trip on a small steamer up an African river in 1915: “Late on the third day, at the very moment when, at sunset, we were making our way through a herd of hippopotamuses, there flashed upon my mind, unforeseen and unsought, the phrase: “reverence for life.”

The following day, whilst still on the boat and alone with his thoughts, he defined this phrase for which he’s now known. He wrote “it means that life itself is sacred and our duty is to cherish it.”

Schweitzer believed that too many people go through life without ever thinking about its meaning and value. He viewed life as a great gift that needed to be treasured and respected. Then, he said “we can raise it to its true value.” On this theme it’s vital that we celebrate who we are as people and appreciate the people closest to us and not just what we own.

One of the great mysteries of life is that none of know when our life is going to end. Therefore it’s important we make every moment of our life count. It’s incumbent on us to respect and appreciate the gift of life, to get out and enjoy it.

This week, why not take a few moments out to reflect and consider if there are any changes you would like to make to your life to ensure that you make every moment count.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk ;

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” Winston Churchill.

Recently I was delighted to learn that Gary Oldman had won the Oscar for Best actor for his portrayal of Winston Churchill in the film The Darkest Hour.

I’m sure the recognition he has received compensated for the early starts and two and half hours Gary Oldman spent every day being made up and put into a prosthetic body suit. His appearance was transformed and he gave a brilliant and convincing performance as Churchill.

I really enjoyed the film which illustrated Churchill’s leadership style (which wasn’t always to everyone’s taste). It showed some of the choices and decisions he had to make when the UK faced much adversity and challenges in the Second World War.

When I was thinking about Churchill and leadership in general it inspired me to write this week’s blog. I think we can all learn lessons, wisdom and gifts from leaders of all kinds. These could be famous historical figures such as Churchill, Mother Theresa, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela or others we have observed. It could be people we’ve worked with, played sport with or teachers, parents etc.

We don’t have to lead a business or a team to be a leader. We can be the leader, the director and architect of our own life. It’s possible to learn great insights, healthy habits and behaviours from leaders to apply into our life in order to be the very best we can be personally and professionally. We can show leadership qualities in our daily interactions with others.

Here are a few thoughts from me about what we can learn from great leaders to apply in our own lives:-

• Have a clear vision and sense of direction. If we know where we’re heading we’re more likely to know when we get there! Having a clear vision helps us to manage our time and energy appropriately. It enables us to focus on our most important and key priorities and avoid distractions and time wasting activities.

• Develop a sense of purpose. When we have great self-awareness and clarity on our key talents, gifts and strengths, it can help us to develop a definiteness of purpose. Being committed to our purpose and having an understanding of how we can positively impact and help others with our skills brings greater meaning and satisfaction to our life.

• Be a great listener. You learn more from listening than talking! When you develop a great ability to listen with the intent to truly understand, you develop greater connection with people. When you are truly present, it helps people to feel valued and important. It develops trust and more effective relationships.

• Trust your instincts. Whilst facts and figures are important in decision making and analysing situations, so is intuition. We can learn to tune into and trust our inner wisdom. Our past experiences and learnings help develop this valuable wisdom. Great leaders have a hunch about what to do, the action to take and back their feelings.

• Be consistent in your actions. Healthy habits and routines help us to achieve our goals. Commitment and self-discipline are key traits to help us see plans through to completion and achieve our vision. Small actions applied consistently lead to extraordinary results over time. Consistency helps us to be first class and the best that we can be.

• Be impeccable with your word. When we say what we mean, mean what we say and do what we say we going to, people know where they stand. Relationships become more harmonious and effective. Trust is developed as people see that we operate with high levels of integrity. People like and respect those that stick to their promises.

• Be the change you wish to see. If we’re not happy with something in our life, rather than moan and complain, we can take positive action to change things. We can lead by example and be an inspiration for others to follow our lead. We can commit to walking our talk and ensuring that our words are matched by deeds.

Why not take a few moments out to reflect and consider what action you can take personally to be more of a leader in your own life.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk ;

“If you think you can or you think you can’t, you are probably right.” Henry Ford.

I was very sorry to hear that Sir Roger Bannister, the first person to run a mile in under four minutes has died at the aged of 88.

His time of three minutes 59.4 seconds, set at Iffley Road sports ground in Oxford on 6 May 1954, stood as a record for just 46 days. However, his place in athletics history was assured.

I featured Sir Roger’s feat in my book “Be First Class” in a chapter titled “Your beliefs drive your results” and I have included extracts in this piece.

Sir Roger Bannister helped to change conventional wisdom and beliefs that people held by breaking the four minute mile record.

Prior to the race and his attempt to smash this barrier people had urged him not to try it. They had told him it was dangerous and life threatening. However, he ignored all this advice and successfully broke the record.

Once he had achieved this, four runners broke the record within a year because they knew that it was possible and could be done. Following Bannister’s achievement, athletes changed their beliefs. They told themselves they could do it and as a result their bodies performed more effectively. The current record was set in 1999 at three minutes, 43.13 seconds (16 seconds less than the original record).

Our beliefs have a pivotal role in the results that we achieve in life and help to shape and influence our behaviour.

Whatever we believe dictates how we respond to situations and determines how we relate to the people that we meet and interact with.

If you believe that you will achieve a goal no matter what life throws at you, then you are more likely to do just that than someone who believes they can never have what they really want.

Most of our beliefs about ourselves and how the world operates are formed in early childhood. They are shaped by our parents, grandparents, relatives, teachers, past experiences, media, culture, peers, friends & religion. Aside from physical differences, it is our different experiences and beliefs that make us all unique. Often we don’t realise what our beliefs consist of or how they have been formed but they influence every moment of every day.

Every belief has a structure to it which we can change if we choose to. It is like carrying a recording in our heads. If the recording is working for us, we can keep it and maybe update it occasionally. However, if the recording is limiting us, we can take it out and re- record it, so we have one that is working for us.

We accept opinions from influential people in our lives and hold them as facts, however, they aren’t facts but perceptions formed through our experience and others views. Beliefs are views about us, others and the world. These views determine the decisions we take and the way we behave. If we want to change our results in life then the process starts with changing our beliefs.

Beliefs determine how we think and how we talk to ourselves (our self talk) and this determines how we behave. If we are overly self- critical or hard on ourselves then we will not necessarily enjoy the journey towards a particular goal. We will feel stressed, anxious and frustrated from time to time.

However, if our self talk is kinder, more encouraging and positive then the journey will be a more enjoyable one. We will feel better and as a result behave more confidently and our results are more likely to be more positive.

There are two types of belief:

We can have empowering ones which help us to believe that we can achieve. They propel us forward towards our goals and help us to feel confident and good about ourselves.

Alternatively, we can have limiting beliefs. These hold us back, hinder our progress and negatively impact our confidence levels. They mean we get in our own way.

There are countless examples of beliefs missing the point. Many said photocopiers, telephones and computers would not catch on. Look how those beliefs tuned out!

It’s vital that we continue to challenge beliefs that we have and ensure they are working positively for us. All of us have the power and control over our beliefs which shape our self talk/thoughts, behaviour and ultimately our results in life. Sir Roger Bannister proved that barriers are to be broken and that there are no limits

It’s important that we’re aware of the thoughts in our head such as “I can’t do this, it’s just too hard” as what we think about becomes our reality. We can decide to make our self talk more positive and this will improve our mood and performance levels.

This week, why not take a few moments out to reflect and consider what beliefs you hold empower or limit your performance. Are you motivated to change any of your beliefs?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk ;