Month: December 2018 Page 1 of 2

“If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves.”
–  Thomas A. Edison.

Here we are at the end of 2018 and on the verge of a New Year.

The New Year represents a new beginning and a fresh start for us all. It’s a chance to wipe the slate clean, plan to fulfil some desires and establish some new goals.

It provides us with the opportunity to create some healthy habits which will help us to be the best we can be personally and professionally.

It’s a good time to focus on how we would like our life to be, create a new vision and set some intentions to make our vision a reality.

With this in mind, I have created a list of 19 tips to help you to Be First Class in 2019, which I hope you enjoy reading and find useful:

1. Have a clear vision for your personal and professional life

Be clear on what you want and would like to experience and achieve in 2019. As part of this process get clarity on your motivation and why you have these particular goals.

2. Develop an attitude of gratitude

Establish a gratitude journal. Make a note daily of at least 3 things to be grateful for. Remember to celebrate your successes, achievements and good fortune. Frequently count your blessings.

3. Be yourself (everyone else is taken)

Be true to yourself and your values. Remember that you are unique and special. Stand up for what you believe in. In a world where you can be anything, it’s important to be yourself.

4. Be discerning with the use of your time and energy

Budget time and energy in the same way you budget money. Do things that make you feel good and increase your energy. Let go of negative people, influences and environments from your life.

5. Remember that life is short and enjoy the simple things in life

Do what makes you happy and you’re passionate about. Follow your dreams and spend time with those you love. Remember that quite often the best things in life are free and have the most value.

6. Let go of things that you can’t control

It’s easy to spend your time thinking and worrying about things outside your control. Focus your time and energy on things that you can control and positively influence.

7. Spend more time in the present moment

Quit worrying about the past or living life too far in the future. Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today. You can’t change what has happened and the future is a mystery.

8. Listen to and trust your intuition

If your instincts say be brave and go for it, listen to that wisdom. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. Get into the habit of tuning in, listening to and trusting your intuition as it knows what’s best for you.

9. Be impeccable with your word

Walk your talk. Say only what you mean and promise only what you will fulfil. Speak with integrity and avoid negative language and gossip.

10. Quit comparing yourself to others

This will save a lot of mental energy and focus. We all have different life experiences, so instead of comparing your results to others, compare them to the targets you set for yourself.

11. Play to your strengths

Get clear on your key strengths and natural talents. Spend more time thinking about what you are good at, rather than the things you need to improve or aren’t so good at. Apply your strengths often.

12. Remember that good health is our real wealth

Take time to focus on your health and well-being. Prioritise self-care. A brisk walk is a good way to do 30 minutes daily exercise. Have a break at lunch time and quit eating at your desk.

13. Tame the e mail monster

Check them no more than twice a day. Unsubscribe from some lists. Encourage colleagues to mail only what’s essential. Advocate an internal e mail free day each week in your organisation.

14. Keep your outlook fresh

Each month get into the habit of spending 15 minutes to ask yourself – What can I stop doing? What do I need to expand doing? What do I need to start doing?

15. Have a technology free day each week

Give your brain a break and switch off your phone, computers and avoid social media for a day. Be really present with activities and conversations with family and friends. Spend more time outdoors.

16. Live now – procrastinate later

Quit over thinking issues and get into action. Regularly ask yourself “What would I do today if I were really brave?”   Follow up on your ideas and action plans. The fortune is always in the follow up!

17. Practice random acts of kindness

Create good feelings by doing unexpected and unconditional good deeds for others. It can be a simple gesture and doesn’t have to cost money. Be kind when you can to help create a better world.

18. Make room for fun and laughter

There is much research available to endorse the health benefits of frequent laughter, so see the funny side of life. Make time to watch funny movies, TV shows or read humorous books.

19. Treat people how you wish to be treated

When you do this you will notice other people will treat you better. You will feel good about yourself. Kindness, respect and consideration for others are free but have great value.

I hope that you find these tips useful. This week, why not spend a few moments thinking about which of the tips you would like to develop and focus more attention on in the New Year.

My very best wishes to you for a happy, healthy and fulfilling 2019.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything, it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.” Paulo Coelho.

So here we are at Christmas Eve, just a few hours before Christmas day and just over a week before we say goodbye to 2018. A popular pastime at Christmas is for families to watch films with a Christmas theme. One of the most popular films that falls into this category is Love Actually.

The film written and directed by Richard Curtis was released in 2003. It is set in London a frantic month before Christmas. It follows the lives of eight very different couples in dealing with their lives in various loosely interrelated tales. It’s a film all about connection and connections.

In November 2003 I was working in Denver, USA. One evening I decided to go out for a walk and explore the city. A short distance from my hotel I came across a cinema and went inside to find out what was showing. I discovered that the next showing was a film called Love Actually. It had only just come out and hadn’t been released in the UK yet.

The cinema was packed and in fact I got the last available seat at the end of a row. I really enjoyed the film and found it quite funny at various points. In a display of different humour preferences, I seemed to laugh at things that the local audience didn’t find as funny and they laughed at some things that I didn’t find particularly humorous.

One of the stars of film was the actress Martine McCutcheon who had previously been in the British soap opera EastEnders. In the film she was the love interest of the newly elected British Prime Minister called David.

So here are a few connections with what I have written above. Firstly, earlier this year I saw an interview with Martine McCutcheon on Mail online in which she said the biggest lesson she learned in life was to “Be yourself.”

This was interesting because the final chapter of the book I had just finished writing and has now been published (Just Be) was called “Be yourself.” The chapter contains a quotation that Martine mentions in the interview.

In the article, Martine explained that from an early age she enjoyed playing different characters or drifting off into a fantasy world to escape from her dysfunctional childhood at the hands of a violent and abusive father. That was her safe place and comfort zone.

The problem with this was that she never really knew who her authentic self was. This left her with a lack of self-confidence which she carried into adulthood.

When Martine was invited to the 2004 Bafta award ceremony she found herself surrounded by some of the most beautiful, talented actresses in the world. That’s when she remembered the old saying “Be Yourself. Everyone else is taken.” This is the quote that I had used in Just Be and have used as the title for this blog.

From that day in 2004, very gradually she started to look for her own version of success. She had always felt a little apologetic for her working class roots and a little embarrassed if she mixed with posh, well connected people.

Martine said it’s easy to think everyone else has it sussed because, even if they don’t, they act as if they do. However, she began to realise that it was all smoke and mirrors and all she lacked was their outward poise. Following marriage and the birth of her son, she has reordered her priorities. She says it has taken her 40 years but she has finally arrived at who she is.

Our heart holds our truth and who we really are. When we speak from the heart we are never lost for words and people intuitively know that we are expressing our truth. They may not always like our opinions but they will respect our honesty and feel we can be trusted to speak truthfully and to be authentic.

This Christmas and as we head into 2019 why not make a commitment to be authentic, true to who you really are and to be yourself.

Thank you for reading the blog. Have a wonderful Christmas.

This week why not take a moment to reflect and consider if there is any action that you need to take to just be yourself more.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“There is no certainty; there is only adventure.” Roberto Assagioli.

Have you heard the expression “May you live in interesting times?” This came into my mind last week, when I reflected on the type of week experienced by the UK’S Prime Minister, Theresa May. This was dominated by her involvement in negotiations regarding the UK’s departure from the European Union.

Early in the week, she pulled a key parliamentary vote because she felt she was going to lose. The vote had been arranged to ratify the provisional agreement she has struck with the European Union regarding the UK’s withdrawal. She then faced much hostility when answering questions in parliament.

She visited various European cities hoping to negotiate concessions/amendments to the agreement she had provisionally agreed. She wanted to get assurances about various elements of the deal before seeking UK parliamentary approval.

Mrs May faced a no confidence vote by MPs from her own party which she won. Following this she attended a two day council of European Leaders where she sought further concessions. She came away without much clarity and no agreement about the way forward. After all of this activity I concluded that we are indeed living in interesting times.

It’s now just 102 days until the UK leaves the European Union. Despite over two years of negotiations and Mrs May’s interesting week, there is no clarity or certainty about the way forward. There’s no clear understanding of what the UK’s departure means in practical and tangible terms and it’s making people anxious.

Individuals and businesses across the UK and Europe who trade with each other have lots of uncertainty and anxiety about how things are going to be from March 29. All the events of last week got me thinking about the subject of uncertainty.

Uncertainty and a fear of the unknown are a common source of stress for many people. We don’t like uncertainty and it tends to have a negative impact on our confidence levels. The truth is life is pretty unpredictable most of the time. Whilst we can’t control every last detail of situations, it doesn’t stop us trying to control outcomes!

Many things are outside of our control such as other people’s actions and moods, the weather, the state of the economy, traffic etc. It’s helpful to develop an acceptance of this and not get overly anxious about things that we can’t control.

Sometimes we are forced to face into some fears, step into the unknown and into situations outside of our comfort zone. When we do this we discover inner resources and depths that we didn’t know we had. As a result we grow, develop and increase our sense of worth.

We are creatures of habit and a fear of the unknown can lead us to stay in our comfort zones and stuck in a rut. This explains why some people put up with circumstances that don’t bring them happiness but are known, familiar and predictable. In part this explains why people choose to stay in jobs they detest, put up with unacceptable behaviour from others or in relationships that make them unhappy.

It’s true that uncertainty can be uncomfortable and lead to increased anxiety levels. As humans we like to control our lives and to have a future that is stable and fairly predictable. It’s therefore understandable when we feel insecure and face an uncertain future.

As well as fearing uncertainty, many people waste energy and time complaining about things that they can’t control. Modern living is demanding and it’s important we spend our limited energy and time focused on things that we can control. This includes our beliefs, attitude, mindset, actions and reactions to events.

We can learn from the world of sport and a practice that is used by sports psychologists. They help top athletes and sports people to develop their performance by encouraging them to control the controllables. These are areas like diet, rest periods, fluid intake, exercise regime, pre-event preparation, sleep, thoughts, reaction to external events and visualisation.

A welcome bi-product of focusing on things within our control is that over time it helps us to increase the amount of influence we have in the teams and organisations that we work with/for.

If you follow this approach you will develop a reputation for completing your priorities with a quiet assurance. Not meddling in areas outside of your sphere of responsibility will help build people’s trust and confidence in you.

This week, why not take a few moments to reflect and consider how you can better manage uncertainty. Think about what is currently occupying your mind and decide what you need to take control of and what you need to let go of.

 

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk