Month: June 2023 Page 1 of 2

“A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results.” Wade Boggs.

I saw a sign once that said “Attitudes are contagious, is yours worth catching?” It wasn’t in a doctor’s surgery!

How would you answer that question?

How easy do you find it to maintain a positive attitude?

It can be challenging to stay positive if you have to operate in negative environments and interact with negative people. It’s easy to allow others to erode our positive feelings and intentions and burst our bubble!

Listening to people complain and gossip can have a detrimental impact on our mood. It also doesn’t help productivity, morale and service levels in businesses and teams. One bad apple has the capacity to send the rest of the apples in the barrel rotten!

It’s sad that some people keep expressing their unhappiness with situations. Like a scratched broken vinyl record, they play the same tune over and over.  Whilst expending considerable amounts of energy they never once consider solutions and alternative approaches.

Scenarios like the one I’ve just outlined can make you think you have walked onto the set of the film Groundhog Day (because you hear the same thing over and over again and witness the same results).

Watching news bulletins can be a similar negative experience. Talk of economic catastrophe, stories about war and conflict, famine, tales of unnecessary loss of life and opposition to political leaders can seriously undermine our positivity and feel-good feelings.

It’s easy to forget all that we have in life, the value of our family and friendships and how much beauty there is to be found in nature. We can also not fully appreciate the gift of life and how very fortunate we are to have a healthy body and mind.

We all have challenges to contend with from time to time. Life is full of ups and downs, hills and valleys. When we find ourselves at the top of hill, it’s important that we take the time to enjoy the view and be grateful. If and when we find ourselves in a valley, we can remind ourselves that this time will pass and change. We can also remember the marvellous experiences we have had in life and can enjoy again one day.

Life is precious and isn’t to be taken for granted. It’s to be lived one day at a time. It’s essential that we set an intention to enjoy life as none of us know how much time we have on planet earth. Therefore, it’s vital that we seek out positive people, experiences and environments to maintain our sanity. It’s an important element of self-care and helps us to develop and sustain good levels of health and well-being.

Here are a few ideas on steps you can take in order to maintain and increase your positivity levels: –

1. Defer worrying. You can put off worrying until you have a reason to worry. It’s easy to spend lots of time locked in your head imagining all sorts of scenarios that never actually happen. Research suggests that 70% of what we worry about never happens, 25% is trivia and 5% is out of our control.
2. Be self-disciplined. Set clear goals and take daily action and this will help you to raise your esteem and confidence levels. Positive daily actions and rituals mean that you make the best use of your time. Achieving our goals helps us all to feel positive and good about life.
3. Appreciate all that you have in life. You can make it a daily habit to write down 3 things that you’re really grateful for. This helps you to focus your mind on what you have rather than what you lack. It will help you to develop an abundant rather than a scarcity mindset. Like attracts like and this simple act will attract even more things to be grateful for into your life.
4. Hang out with positive people. Be discerning about the company that you keep. Take care to avoid toxic people and situations. Associate with people that are good to be around, have belief in you and encourage you to develop. Socialise with people that aim high, think positively, genuinely care about you and make you laugh. Be that person for them too.
5. Remember to laugh. Nothing increases your mood and energy levels more than a good belly laugh. The news coverage can contain lots of negative and sad stories. Read something funny or look at a book of humorous cartoons. Regularly watch things that make you laugh. Take a break from news bulletins and newspapers from time to time.

This week, why not take a few moments out to reflect and consider what steps you can take to increase your positivity levels.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Authenticity is very important – be true to one’s self.” Laila Ali.

When I started work, my dad gave me a great piece of advice.

He said “People may try to influence you into their way of thinking and away from what your instincts are telling you. They may want you to follow their actions and behaviours. Always remember to do the right thing. You don’t have to follow the crowd. Be your own man, unto yourself be true.”

The wisdom my dad shared has stuck with me all my life. It has meant at times I’ve expressed views that weren’t shared by others. Sometimes I’ve had to put my head above the parapet, take a risk and express how I truly felt on some issues, even if I was a lone voice. This hasn’t always been the easy path but I’ve always done this respectfully. It has enabled me to know that I have spoken my truth.

When we live authentically, we open up the door for others to do the same. It allows people to feel relaxed in our company. Putting people at ease encourages them to be themselves without fear of being judged. They know that they can trust what they are experiencing and be genuine.

It helps to lay foundations of trust in our families, teams and relationships. Authentic communication may not always be what people want to hear. However, they do come to respect those people who are consistent, can be relied upon to speak their truth and are genuine and honest in how they communicate.

This means people get clarity and an understanding of where they stand and this helps them to feel secure. They feel safe in the knowledge that their relationship with the person is real.

In modern life, people are crying out for greater transparency and want to be given the real facts. Many question the integrity of some marketing and advertising and struggle to discern what’s real and what’s made up.

There are various pieces posted on the internet where the accuracy of reports and claims is, on occasions, dubious. Much has been written and spoken in recent times about fake news. This phrase was named as word of the year by Collins in 2017 and included in their dictionary.

As Shakespeare famously wrote: “To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”

When we express on the outside what we think or feel on the inside, our life enters a new level of alignment. We feel in the flow and words can come easily. We don’t have to over-think or analyse, we just have to be. If we learn to speak and act from the heart, we will never be lost for words.

Keeping your word and commitments and being authentic are a major part of building integrity. Much is written about this and its importance in developing trust and healthy relationships.

It’s a personal quality of fairness and doing the right thing in a reliable way.  A story that illustrates how integrity can be easily developed relates to Mahatma Gandhi. In 1931, Gandhi travelled to Britain to attend the round table conference and influence the British public over the plight of India under British rule.

Here was a man with no perceived power. He appeared frail, dressed in simple robes with no political office and no wealth. He spoke for nearly two hours without notes and he mesmerized many members of parliament and the press.

Since it was difficult for the press to reach Gandhi due to the crowds and security, the press approached his secretary, Mahadev Desai to ask some questions. One of the questions they asked was how he was able to speak so powerfully for two hours without any notes!

He said, “You don’t understand. You don’t understand Gandhi. You see, what he thinks is what he feels. What he feels is what he says and what he says is what he does. What Gandhi thinks, what he feels, what he says and what he does are all the same. He does not need notes. You and I think things that sometimes may be different to what we feel. What we say depends on who’s listening. What we do depends on who’s watching. It is not so with him. He needs no notes.”

This week, why not pause for a few moments to reflect. Consider what situation(s) or relationship(s) in your life require you to adopt a more authentic approach.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

 “Be happy with what you have and are, be generous with both and you won’t have to hunt for happiness.” William E Gladstone.

To be happy is a great aspiration for many people. I believe to be happy is a simple important goal to have in life.

I accept that it isn’t always easy or possible to be happy when we suffer adversity. This particularly applies when we have to deal with sad situations such as the bereavement of a loved one or serious health issues. However, having a happy disposition and mindset may allow us to recover and bounce back from difficult and challenging experiences faster.

Having a foundation of happiness within us, helps us to get things into perspective more quickly when difficult people and situations push our buttons. It allows us to move on if we temporarily feel angry, downhearted, frustrated or disappointed.

The good news is that being happy is within our control. It’s a choice as Abraham Lincoln said “Most people are about as happy as they make their mind up to be.”

I believe that one rule of happiness is to allow ourselves to be happy in our own skin. This means that we feel at peace and at ease with ourselves, relaxed and grounded with a mindset that we can cope with whatever life throws at us.

This will also involve remembering that when the going gets tough to have an attitude that believes that “This too will pass.”

If we choose to adopt this philosophy in life, we tend not to dwell too long in situations and proactively take action to change things.

In order to be happy, we must:

• Feel that we deserve to be and give ourselves permission to be so.
• Let go of the need to ensure everyone else is happy before we focus on our own happiness.
• Give up a belief that we must be perfect before we can experience true happiness.
• Accept that we are human and will make mistakes.
• Not put the key to our happiness in someone else’s pocket.
• Release the thought that we have to earn the right to be happy.
• Trust that it’s ok for us to be happy and that we don’t need the approval of others.

Happiness can be a fuzzy concept. It means different things to different people. We all have our own unique happiness recipe. It’s important to spend time figuring out what makes up our personal and individual definition.

I’ve had many varied responses when I’ve asked clients what makes them happy. Some say it’s seeing the family content, success at work, sporting triumph, listening to music, watching children enjoy themselves, time by the sea, reading a good book, going for a run, watching a film at the cinema etc.

I quite often do an exercise with clients to get them to devise their personal happiness definition. I do this by getting them to take a sheet of paper and write down 10 bullet points that reflect happiness for them. It can be fewer than 10 points if you prefer.

To further develop the framework, I ask clients to give themselves a score out of 10 (1 being low, 10 being high) for each of the bullet points. These scores reflect their satisfaction with each element. They can make a note of their target score for areas they want to improve. I also suggest they note down a few action steps that will help them achieve this score. These scores can be regularly reviewed to track progress.

It’s a simple but really powerful exercise. It provides clarity and is a great framework to compare how you are doing in life against your own happiness definition.  I’ve noticed that when people do this exercise, their descriptions often include things that don’t cost a great deal of money and in some instances are free.  Perhaps there is some truth in the old saying “The best things in life are free!”

We get one life, it’s short. Everyone has the right to be happy and we can all do our best to not delay or defer our happiness. Choose to be happy, starting right now!

This week, why not pause for a few moments and consider what makes you happy and if you need to take any steps to increase your personal happiness.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk