Month: June 2015 Page 1 of 2

When I was training to be a coach in 2001, I learned something about fear which has stuck with me and has been a useful reminder that fears can be overcome.

I discovered that we are only born with only two fears. These are the fear of noise and fear of falling down. All the other fears that we have are learned behaviours. In most cases they are other people’s fears that have been transferred to us. As they are learned behaviours, with the right support and perseverance we can unlearn and conquer them!

In my coaching work, I have found that one of the biggest interferences or obstacles that prevent people fulfilling their goals and potential is fear. It forms part of the discussion with a fair proportion of clients at some stage.

This can be when I am working with a leader of a blue chip company, a sales director or someone looking to start their own business. Somewhere in our sessions, the subject of fear will crop up. When it does we develop strategies to overcome it and get into action. Quite often until the clients get talking they do not realise the impact that fear is having and how it is holding them back. It is normally an unconscious behaviour.

It appears that everyone is afraid of something. The best thing you can do and the first step to introducing change is to face into your fears.

The philosopher Bertrand Russell said “Fear is the main source of superstition and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.”

Fear is a very small word but can have a massive impact on someone’s life and performance. It can be a powerful and paralysing force.

The fears that feature most frequently are:-

The fear of failure

Many people will not attempt something unless they can be confident that it will work out or will be a success. Unfortunately life does not come with guarantees. However, failure, setbacks and mistakes are a normal part of life and provide rich learnings. Some people procrastinate on decisions to avoid taking action and risk failing.

The fear of rejection

Sometimes people do not ask a question or ask for help as they do not want to be rejected. It can prevent people asking for a pay rise, a promotion or a date. Sales people do not always ask to close a sale for fear of being knocked back. It is common for many people when they start their own business that they have to quickly learn to overcome this fear in order to sell their services.

The fear of the unknown

We are creatures of habit and we like to operate in our comfort zones. This can prevent us from experiencing all that life has to offer. It stops us from trying something new and different and meaning that some people stay stuck in a rut or a situation that is not serving their best interests.

The fear of change

The world is changing at a rapid rate fuelled by the advancement of technology. Despite this evolution, many people still fear change and a move away from their regular routines and habits. This can mean that some people resist change and become quite rigid in their approach and as a result may miss opportunities.

The fear of being judged

On occasions people can shy away from voicing an opinion, attending social situations or delivering presentations as they worry that they will be judged negatively by others. This can mean that they miss out on chances to advance their career and/or develop connections and relationships.

Facing our fears is always a challenge but when we do so and achieve positive results, it boasts our self- esteem and how we feel about ourselves. Taking small action steps and addressing our fears in bite sized chunks helps to develop our confidence. When we get success from these bite sized chunks it provides us with the courage to persevere.

It is a good exercise to list various areas of your life – work, relationships, health and fitness, money, leisure, fun, hobbies, learning etc. and think if there are changes you can make for the better.

After doing this be honest with yourself and state if there are fears or anxieties that stop you implementing some changes.

If you have a dream of pursuing a new career, starting a business, writing a book or simply want to overcome something that holds you back, get clear on where you are at. Stepping out of our comfort zone ultimately does lead to fulfillment.

Getting some external help is a good way to start the ball rolling and to hold you to account for planned action steps. It provides the encouragement and support we all need sometimes from someone who is objective and non-judgmental.

This week, why not take a few moments to reflect and think about whether there are fears that stop you fulfilling your potential. What small steps can you take to conquer the grip that they have on you?

Quote for the week:

“Thinking will not overcome fear but action will.” W. Clement Stone.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

The New York Times did a study in 1984 and asked people what they most feared.

The top two fears were walking into a room full of strangers and presenting in public.

Since 2001 I have worked with thousands of people via training workshops or one to one coaching. A fair proportion of those people have expressed the view that they do not enjoy presenting in public and have anxiety around doing so.

Many one to one clients have used some of their sessions to work on overcoming their anxiety with public speaking or to develop their presentation skills.

This week, I thought it would be useful to share my top tips on delivering engaging presentations and having a greater impact.

Tip 1 – Get clear on the main objective of the talk.

In order to help determine what the main messages will be, I suggest you answer the question, why am I giving this presentation? Get clear on whether the presentation is to:

• Provide information

• Sell an idea/service

• Represent your company

• Entertain

Tip 2- Personalise your message.

If you are able talk with the organisers and try to find out who is likely to be in the audience. What are things that interest them? Relate your message to your audience and link it to the challenges/opportunities/issues in their world. In designing and delivering your talk, keep WIIFM (what’s in it for me) in mind. That is what the audience will be considering as you outline the objectives of your talk. This is a great chance to engage them and link to their personal motivations. Outline how your presentation will help them and what it will do for them.

Tip 3-Use visuals, props or facts.

These help ensure that your presentation has greater impact; they reinforce your message and are memorable. Stories, analogies and mnemonics also help to support your message. They help to bridge your message and the audience’s experience and bring your presentation to life.

Tip 4-Ensure that your presentation follows a structure.

This can be as simple as ensuring your presentation has a beginning, middle and end. In order to achieve this I suggest you tell the audience what you are going to tell them, tell them and then summarise at the end what you have told them! Remember that less is more sometimes. Aim to have no more than 4 or 5 main messages in your talk.

Tip 5-Be yourself and get grounded.

It was Judy Garland who said “It is better to be a first rate version of yourself, rather than a second rate version of someone else.” Look to connect with your audience by being natural and authentic. If you talk from the heart, you will never be lost for words! To ensure that you manage any nerves and anxiety, do some deep breathing before you go on to present. Breathe right in to your stomach, count to seven and then breathe out and count to seven. Repeat this three times. It will help relax you and keep you grounded.

This week, why not take a few moments to think about the presentations that you make. How can you personalise your message? What do you need to do to ensure that they have greater impact?

Quote for the week:

“You never know when a moment and a few sincere words can have an impact on a life” Zig Ziglar

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

If a job is worth doing, it’s worth doing well!

The blog this week focuses on quality and attention to detail.

I was painting our garden fence recently and doing this brought to mind a story that I had read about the Apple computers founder Steve Jobs, which is featured in his biography by Walter Isaacson.

Apple is known for the quality of their products and it is an ethos that is deeply entrenched in the company’s culture.

For instance, their current CEO, Tim Cook, when outlining the company’s business philosophy said “We don’t settle for anything less than excellence in every group in the company.”

Steve Jobs was said to be obsessed with the way things were crafted and the quality of the things unseen. He was not just content to just meet specifications; he frequently went above and beyond to ensure that the products he had a hand in were made in the best way possible.

Walter Isaacson suggests in the biography that the likely source of this focus on craftsmanship was Jobs adoptive father, Paul Jobs. He was a mechanic, good with his hands and his work focused mainly on cars.

“I thought my dad’s sense of design was pretty good,” Jobs told Isaacson, “because he knew how to build anything. If we needed a cabinet, he would build it. When he built our fence, he gave me a hammer so I could work with him.”

His uncompromising attitude towards quality originates from a very specific moment in his childhood about painting a garden fence.

Fifty years after the fence was constructed, Jobs showed it to Isaacson, still standing and recalled the lesson his father taught him he would never forget.

Touching the boards of the inside of the fence, he said that “He loved doing things right. He even cared about the look of the parts you couldn’t see.”

As a curious child Steve wondered why his father would paint the parts of the fence that you could not see as you would use less paint if you skipped those parts and also get the job done quicker.

His father told him that a great craftsman cares about doing a great job and if you compromise with the quality in any part of a quality product, even in a hidden place, then you don’t have a quality product.

Paul Jobs said that it was important for him to know he had done the best that he could. Whilst others would not be able to see the hidden parts of the fence, he would know that the fence had not been painted inside and therefore could not consider it to be a quality job.

He said that his father refused to use poor wood for the back of cabinets, or to build a fence that wasn’t constructed as well on the back side as it was the front.

Jobs likened it to using a piece of plywood on the back of a beautiful chest of drawers. “For you to sleep well at night, the aesthetic, the quality, has to be carried all the way through.”

This is a good rule of thumb to remember.

If you want to know whether you are looking at the work of a merely good craftsman, or that of a great craftsman, simply look at the hidden parts and see if those are done properly as well.

Jobs would recall the lessons taught by his father about the attention worth paying, even to the things unseen, throughout his career and life and users of Apple products often reaped the rewards.

This week, why not take a few moments to think about the projects and work that you are involved with.

Are there little tweaks or changes that you can make to improve the quality of your output? If you lead or manage a team, is there anything that you can do to inspire them to improve the quality of your products and service?

Quote for the week:

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” Steve Jobs.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk