Month: January 2017 Page 1 of 2

Although it isn’t yet the end of January, a few people have mentioned to me recently they are frustrated that they haven’t followed through on resolutions and personal goals they set for this year. This is despite them having good intentions and enthusiasm when the year commenced. I wonder how many other people have given up on their resolutions and goals.

If this is your story don’t lose heart and give up completely. Rather than waste time, effort and energy on beating yourself up and being self-critical, give yourself a second chance. Whilst much of the world celebrates the New Year on January 1, the Chinese New Year started this past weekend (January 28^th). So if you haven’t followed through on your intentions for the year, use this as an opportunity to wipe the slate clean and start again.

Firstly, see this as an opportunity to say to yourself, “Ok, I was enthusiastic to do this this, so why haven’t I followed through?” Ask yourself “What can I learn from this?”

Get really honest with yourself. Ask yourself “Do I really want to do this?” Confirm to yourself that you really do own the goal/ resolution. It’s important that you’re pursuing goals because you really want to. If you set a resolution because someone else told you that you should, you won’t have the same level of commitment. It’s worth remembering that we do best what we enjoy and are passionate about. One hundred per cent ownership of a goal goes a long way to helping you to achieve what you set out to do.

Here are a few more tips and ideas to ensure you successfully accomplish your goal or fulfil your resolution:

• Get clarity on your why.

Get really clear on what is driving and motivating you to pursue this goal or resolution and why it’s important to you. Obtaining this clarity upfront helps you to maintain focus and commitment when the going gets tough. It reminds you why you must persevere when you feel like quitting.

• Be specific about what you want and when you would like to achieve it by.

A common reason for people not fulfilling their goals and potential is that their goals are too loose. For instance “to lose weight” is a goal but lacks detail. However a better more specific goal with a deadline would be “to lose one stone in weight by June 30th this year.” Having a timeframe helps provide a clear target. This also helps to easily review progress and set specific action steps.

• Get clear on your current position.

It helps to have an honest and objective assessment of your starting position and consider any action you’ve already taken. This helps you to quantify how realistic the goal is and what needs to be done. It’s also good at this point to remind yourself what personal experience and knowledge you have to call upon.

• Clarify any obstacles you need to overcome.

Obstacles may be personal limitations or limiting beliefs or external factors such as a lack of time, money, knowledge or skills. By clarifying what needs to be overcome helps you to start to think about ideas and solutions and leads you nicely into the next point.

• Determine what support and resources you will need.

Ask yourself “What help and support will help me to accomplish my goal?” Also clarify what personal strengths, people or resources are available to support you. Some people find it very helpful to be accountable to someone else. An accountability mechanism is a good way to check progress and stay on track. An accountability partner can provide encouragement and challenge you when necessary.

• Commit to action steps.

Establish clear action steps which you’re 100% committed to. You may find it useful to break large goals down into smaller chunks. This helps to prevent a big goal feeling overwhelming. Being in a state of overwhelm can lead to procrastination and stop us from making a start. Small actions applied consistently lead to extraordinary results over time.

• How will you celebrate?

Determine at the start how you will celebrate and reward yourself when you achieve your goal. This provides an added incentive and keeps you focused and motivated. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking about what we haven’t achieved and not take any time to celebrate and reward ourselves when we do complete something successfully.

This week, why not pause for a few moments and consider which of these tips will help you to pursue and achieve goals more effectively. What small tweak can you make to your approach to increase your effectiveness and chances of success?

This week’s quotation:

“People with goals succeed because they know where they’re going.” Earl Nightingale.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

According to a recent study by researchers at Oxford University, helping others and performing good deeds helps to make us happier.

They examined the results of 21 studies involving more than 2500 people that looked at the link between kindness and happiness. They revealed that helping others has a modest effect on happiness, around one point on a scale of one to ten.

Kindness is defined as the quality of being friendly, generous and considerate. A quick review of last week’s news stories made me think that the world could do with a little more kindness at the present time. The world seems to be at an important point in its history, there seems to be much division and conflict on show presently.

For example, the election of President Trump seems to have divided opinion in the USA and sparked mass demonstrations on his inauguration day. There are still many opposed here in the UK to the country leaving the European Union. The defeated president of Gambia refused to leave office. The assembly in Northern Ireland had to be disbanded due to the two main political parties falling out and threatening the relative peace in the country.

Whilst contemplating the need for more kindness in the world, I heard a nice record by Annie Lennox and Al Green called “Put a little love in your heart.” Some of the lyrics seem appropriate at the moment “I hope when you decide, kindness will be your guide, put a little love in your heart and the world will be a better place.”

We can become advocates for a kinder, more considerate and compassionate world.

Here are a few thoughts I had about what we can all do to help make the world a better place. We can:

• Be kinder to ourselves. Kindness starts with us and we can ensure our self talk is encouraging and positive. This can involve being less self-critical and judgemental.
• Choose to be kinder towards others and consciously look to avoid bad mouthing and gossiping about other people.
• Perform random acts of kindness. It doesn’t have to cost money and can be a simple gesture that demonstrates thoughtfulness and generosity of spirit.
• Commit to having kind thoughts about others and look for the best in people and their good qualities. Believe that everyone is doing their best on what they have and know.
• Make more effort to express authentic appreciation and gratitude for the efforts and contributions of others.
• Pay more compliments about people’s talents and qualities. We can notice the acts of kindness of other people rather than their shortcomings.
• Be advocates for greater unity, collaboration and co-operation amongst teams and not engage in conflict.
• Encourage people to express their innate talents, fulfil their potential and be the best they can be.
• Remember in business it’s possible for us to be kind, work collaboratively with others and be successful and profitable.

This week, why not take a few moments out to reflect and consider what you can do to be kinder and promote greater kindness in the world. Are there other people that you can encourage to do this too?

This week’s quotation:

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” Aesop.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

I saw a sign once that said “attitudes are contagious, is yours worth catching?” It wasn’t in a doctor’s surgery!

It isn’t always easy for people to maintain a positive attitude and demeanour if they have to operate in negative environments and interact with negative people. It’s easy for this to erode any positive feelings and intent. Having to listen to people complaining and gossiping has a detrimental impact on our mood. It also doesn’t help productivity, morale and service in businesses and teams. One bad apple has the ability to send the rest of the apples in the barrel rotten!

Some people keep expressing their unhappiness with situations and like a broken record play the same tune over and over. Whilst expending this considerable negative energy, they never once consider solutions and alternative approaches. It can make you think you have walked onto the set of Groundhog Day, as you hear the same thing over and over again!

Watching the news can be a similar negative experience. Talk of economic catastrophe, war and conflict and unhappiness with political leaders can seriously undermine your positivity and feel good feelings. It’s easy to fall into the trap of forgetting all that we have in life, the value of our family and friendships, how much beauty there is to be found in nature and how very fortunate we are to have the gift of life.

We all have challenges to contend with from time to time. After all, life is all about ups and downs, hills and valleys. It’s important that we take the time to enjoy the view at the top of the hill. If we do go through a valley, we can remind ourselves that “this too will pass” and remember the marvelous experiences we have had and can enjoy again one day. Life isn’t to be taken for granted. It is to be lived one day at a time. We must set an intention to enjoy life as none of us know how many days that we have left.

It’s important that we seek out positive people, experiences and environments to keep our sanity. It’s one form of self-care and helps to maintain good levels of health and well-being.

Here are few tips and suggestions to maintain and increase your positivity levels, which are contained in my book Be First Class.

1. Defer worrying. Put off worrying until you have a reason to worry. We can all spend lots of time locked in our heads imagining all sorts of scenarios that never actually happen. I was told that 70% of what we worry about never happens, 25% is trivia and 5% is out of our control.
2. Be self – disciplined. Setting clear goals and taking daily action helps raise our esteem and confidence levels. Having daily rituals mean that we make the best use of our time. Many people resist structure for fear that it sucks the fun out of their life, when in fact it gives us the freedom to make the most of leisure time.
3. Appreciate all that you have in life. Take a few minutes each day to write down 3 things that you’re grateful for. This helps you focus your mind on what you have rather than what you lack. It helps to develop an abundance mindset rather than one of scarcity. Like attracts like, this simple act will attract even more things to be grateful for into your life
4. Hang out with positive people. Be discerning about the company that you keep. Avoid toxic people and situations. Associate with people that are good to be around, have belief and faith in you and encourage you to develop and grow. Socialise with people that aim high, think positivity, genuinely care about you and make you laugh. Be that person for them too.
5. Remember to laugh. Nothing increases your mood and energy levels more than a good belly laugh. The news coverage can contain lots of negative and sad stories. Regularly watch things that make you laugh. Take a break from news bulletins and newspapers from time to time. Read something funny or look at a book of humorous cartoons.
6. Keep a journal. If you do find that your mood dips or you’re having a challenging time, write down your feelings and frustrations as this will help release any hurt, confusion or negative thoughts. It externalises what you’re thinking and brings clarity, calmness and a sense of balance. It restores you to positivity.
7. Maintain your boundaries. Say no when you need to without feeling guilty. We all have limited time and energy and it’s important we address our own needs. Saying yes, when you actually want to say no does nothing for your self-esteem and can have a negative impact on your mood.
8. Practice self-care. Make good health an absolute priority. If you have good health you have everything and it helps you to keep good energy levels and a positive frame of mind. Your health truly is your wealth. Aerobic exercise releases endorphins and helps to reduce body tension. Get sufficient sleep and count your calories.

One final tip, as an experiment take a sabbatical from watching the news for a week or month (or if that is too radical, reduce the amount of time you spend catching up on the news). As an alternative, watch some comedy, read a book or do some exercise and see if it makes a difference to your mood and reduces your anxiety levels.

This week, why not take a few moments out to pause and reflect on the following question:-

What steps can you take to increase your positivity levels?

This week’s quotation:

“A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results.” Wade Boggs

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk