Month: July 2025 Page 1 of 2

“You can do anything as long as you have the passion, the drive, the focus, and the support.” Sabrina Bryan.

This week’s blog is a very special one for me as it’s the 600^th one that I have written since the first one was written over 11 years ago on 21st January 2014. I have posted a blog to the Be First class website every Monday since then. I haven’t missed a week!

My first blog was titled “Small and incremental steps do make a difference.”

By writing this blog every week, I’ve actually followed my own advice about small incremental steps being consistently applied. I am glad that I did as it has yielded some very positive results. As well as developing my writing ability and confidence, putting the blog together every week has enabled me produce enough material to write and publish two books.

The first book “Be First Class” was published in May 2016 and a follow up “Just Be” was published a few years later. Doing this helped me to fulfil a long-held ambition to publish a book. I have to be honest and say that for many years I believed this was an unobtainable goal. I was very happy to prove myself wrong!

I was asked recently about my process for writing blogs and the secret to me publishing them consistently every week for over 11 years.

Here are a few thoughts and insights on what I’ve learned along the way: –

Have a clear purpose and intention.

When I started writing the blog, I had a very clear purpose. Firstly, I wanted to share knowledge to help others. It was my small contribution to seek to make the world a better place. I had no idea if anybody would read the blog and I wasn’t too attached to an outcome. However, I had an image in my mind that one day, someone would do a web search and as a result would come across my blog. I visualised that the blog would help them in some way. I imagined they may gain an insight that would generate a new idea, inspire change or solve a challenge that they had. It gave me the motivation to write each week.

Secondly, I wanted to develop my writing ability and confidence and generate enough material for a book.

Be committed.

In my view, you have to be 100% committed to something in order to make it happen. Since day one, I’ve left no room for excuses; I determined that I would produce a blog each week come rain or shine and that’s what I have done. At the outset, I decided that if at any time in the future, I felt that I wasn’t totally committed, I would stop writing them and use my energy elsewhere.

Be self-disciplined.

The importance of self-discipline can’t be overstated. I have a specific time in my diary where I write the blog. It has become a habit, part of my routine and just something I do every week. I plan what I am going to write about beforehand but I don’t know what the content will be until I sit down to write. The subject is inspired by current world events or something that has happened in my life. I plan for holidays and absences by writing two or three blogs in a week. This means that the blog can continue to be published while I’m away.

Shut out distractions.

In order to ensure I have sufficient time for writing, I have eradicated things that eroded and drained my energy. Some practical examples of this are turning off email and social media notifications and indeed spending limited time on social media. I reduced the amount of time that I watched television or browsed the web. I unsubscribed from some mailing lists and cut down the time I spent dealing with e mails.

Be prepared for unexpected outcomes.

In December 2021 I was contacted by a teacher who taught English in Ukraine. She wanted to use some of the material in one of my blogs in her lessons and sought my permission to do so.

It was titled “What would you do if you were fearless?” I was glad that I said yes to her request and never envisaged when I did that Ukraine would be at war just two months later. I remember reflecting at the time about how the teacher’s life and that of her students had changed forever in a short space of time.

We do best what we enjoy doing.

Life is very precious and we have limited time and energy. Therefore, it is imperative that we focus some of our time on things that we enjoy and are passionate about. I enjoy writing and helping people develop and grow. This has helped to sustain my commitment to writing the blogs each week.

The importance of support.

I could not have achieved this milestone without the help of my good friend Paul Albertson. As well as being an extremely talented actor (you may have seen him on shows like Coronation Street, Casualty, Holby City, Doctors and The Gold), Paul also maintains my website. He posts the blog to the site every week. Thanks Paul, I couldn’t have achieved it without you!

This week why not take a few moments to reflect and think if there is a goal that you would really like to achieve. You may have one that you haven’t taken action on recently. What one step could you take to ignite and energise this goal?

Remember that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step!

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”  George Bernard Shaw.

My wife and I have just returned from a lovely two-week holiday in Cornwall. During our stay we visited Land’s End and learned that there are over 140 recorded shipwrecks off this stretch of coast. The Longships Lighthouse was opened in 1875, about 1.25 miles off the coast of Land’s End to warn shipping of the peril of the rocks around this area. I dread to think how many shipwrecks there would be without the existence of the lighthouse.

Learning about the shipwrecks brought the following story to mind:

On a dark and foggy night in the midst of a stormy sea, the captain of a ship spotted what seemed to be the light from another ship in the distance. He quickly went to his station and flashed a message across the water, “Change your course twenty degrees north.” No sooner had he done this than a reply flashed back, “Change your course twenty degrees south.”

The captain became angry and flashed back, “I am captain and a commander in the naval forces, and I say change your course twenty degrees north.” The responding message was signalled back, “I am a seaman first class with no commander, and I say change your course twenty degrees south.”

This infuriated the captain who now signalled, “I am a battleship, and I say change your course twenty degrees north.” There was a brief pause as the angry captain awaited the reply.

Finally, the response came, “I say change your course twenty degrees south, I am a lighthouse!”

This story illustrates what can happen when you’re too rigid in your thinking. It also demonstrates how having a willingness to change direction can be beneficial. If you catch yourself being too rigid in your approach, I suggest that you bring the metaphor of the battleship and the lighthouse to mind. Remind yourself of the consequences of being inflexible!

Over the years, I’ve coached some people who’ve conceded that when they get busy and stressed, they can become very single minded. They admit that they become inflexible in their approach in pursuing some goals. As a result, they stick rigidly to their ideas and plans.

Being too stubborn in their dealings, had a detrimental impact on their relationships with others. It also made them lose perspective and their vision became very tunnelled. On some occasions, it meant that they stopped listening to the valuable input and ideas of others. They became defensive and this had a negative impact on their relationships, as people kept their distance and gave them a wide berth!

Sadly, some people find it challenging to show their vulnerability and admit that they made have made a mistake. Often this can be traced back to their upbringing and conditioning. Clients have told me of instances where they have got so caught up in a goal that they have been unwilling to let go of it. They have admitted that even when they have known deep down that their plans weren’t working, they haven’t tried something new. This came down to a need to be seen to be right.

In my experience people that are too inflexible show signs of being discontented and unhappy. It can also lead to them feeling anxious and overwhelmed.

Conversely, I’ve found that the people with the most flexible approach to goals, relationships and life in general, tend to be happier and more contented.

They also enjoy a greater connection with others. This enables them to make the most of life and fulfil more of their potential.

This week why not pause for a few moments to reflect and have a think about if you need to become more flexible in your thinking. Also consider if you need to change some of your habits and routines.

I suggest that you ask yourself these questions: –

• What do I need to stop doing?
• What do I need to do differently?
• What do I need to start doing?

 
You can also use these questions to review your approach to a goal that you are currently pursuing.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“To keep a lamp burning, we have to put oil in it.” Mother Theresa.

Whilst listening to the radio, I heard the DJ Jackie Brambles refer to Graham McPherson, aka Suggs, the lead singer of Madness as one of life’s radiators. In my book ‘Be First Class’, I featured a theory about two types of people that affect our energy levels in very different ways. One was radiators, the other was drains.

The drains or empire vampires (as they are also known) are perennial moaners and negative people. You’ve probably come across this type of person yourself. They believe that “every silver lining has a cloud” and refer to their problems constantly. They don’t look for solutions. Often, they have much to be grateful for but don’t recognise this.

Drains choose to think about what they lack rather than the abundance they have. When you ask them how they are, they hunch their shoulders and say something like “fair to grim.” I refer to them as drains or energy vampires because they suck the life out of you with their negativity and stories of how unfair life is!

Conversely, radiators are positive people and they give off a positive vibe and when I’m around them I feel lighter, energised and happier. They have a ‘can do’ attitude and are solutions orientated people. I call them radiators because they are full of warmth, radiance and brightness. They have a glow about them and make those around them feel good.

Radiators have zest, vitality and make the most of the hand that life has dealt them. When you ask them how they are, they look you in the eye; they smile and say something positive and uplifting. They have a sense of gratitude and appreciation for what they have in life.

On many occasions, I have recommended to clients that they complete an exercise to identify the drains and radiators in their life. The exercise involves taking a piece of A4 paper and drawing a line down the centre. On the left-hand side, I suggest that they draw a positive sign and on the right-hand side a negative sign.

Having done this I suggest that they ask themselves the question, “What people/activities give me energy?” Their responses are noted under the positive side.

Then I suggest they ask, “What people/activities drain my energy?” Responses to this question are put underneath the negative sign. Once completed, the results can be reviewed and the client can decide if they wish to make any changes to the way they spend their time and who they spend it with.

We all have limited energy and time. It’s important that we use it wisely on activities that we enjoy and on people that are deserving of our attention and help us to feel good. As I’ve got older, I’ve become more discerning about how I invest my energy and who I spend time with.

If I’m around negative people for too long it has a real impact on my energy levels. My body starts to feel heavy; I feel tired and drained. The opposite happens when I’m in positive environments. More frequently I’m giving negative people a wide berth and avoiding negative environments.

I recommend that you do the same and invest your energy wisely in the same way that you would be careful where you invested a financial windfall!

This week, why not take a few moments out to pause and reflect on the following questions:        

• What people/activities energise you?
• What activities/people drain you?
• What changes do you need to make to how spend your time?
• What changes do you need to make to who you spend your time with?

 
To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk