“When you take care of yourself, you’re a better person for others. When you feel good about yourself, you treat others better.” Solange Knowles.
Modern life is busy and has many demands. We live in an information rich, time poor world. As a result, it’s very easy for people to take too much on, spread them themselves too thin and put other people’s needs before their own.
Over the years, I have seen numerous examples of talented people juggling many different priorities whilst seeking to sustain high levels of performance and lead balanced and happy lives.
A common issue that affects many people I coach is that they put the needs of others before their own. I therefore spend some of the coaching time discussing the importance of self-care to help my clients to avoid burn out.
Lots of clients seek my help to address feelings of overwhelm, to get clarity on their key priorities and develop strategies to put their needs first more often. This also helps them to sustain great results and lead a balanced life.
It’s very easy to fall into the trap of putting other people’s needs before our own. Many of us were brought up to believe that focusing on our needs was somehow selfish and self-indulgent.
A desire to please people can also mean that we prioritise other people’s demands and needs before our own. Therefore it can lead to feelings of guilt when we put ourselves first. Many people also admit to feeling weak if they show some vulnerability and admit that they need some help.
I often suggest to people that we can all learn about the importance of self-care from the Mother Theresa quote “If you want to keep a lamp burning you have to keep putting oil in it.”
Self-care is not a fluffy; it’s about taking responsibility for our physical, psychological, emotional and social needs.
When I discuss the importance of self-care with clients I refer to the metaphor that I learned from boarding a plane. Have you noticed that when they make the safety announcement the crew always give a specific instruction?
The plane’s crew tell you that in the event of an emergency (when the oxygen mask appears) to apply your mask first. They say that you must do this before you attempt to help others with their mask. The reason for this is that if you don’t have oxygen/energy you won’t be in a position to help others!
It’s imperative, if we wish to avoid burn out and keep delivering first class results that we balance the amount that we care for others with our own needs. Being well rested and looking after our health means that we will have the requisite energy to help those around us. Sometimes we simply have to put ourselves first so that we can be the best we can be and have the energy to help others.
The phrase self-care has gained in popularity over recent years and reminds us of the importance of taking care of our needs, so we can be the best version of ourselves. It prompts us to take care of our:
- Physical needs (getting enough sleep, right diet, regular exercise etc.)
- Emotional needs (asking for help when needed)
- Mental needs (stimulating job, interests, personal development etc.)
- Spiritual needs (time for prayer, meditation etc.).
If you’re regularly tired because you have irregular sleep patterns, skip meals or fail to get exercise, then start making self-care a priority. In order to maintain good health, it’s vital that you put some time aside and adopt some habits to take care of yourself.
Having good self-care also helps us to maintain good health and this should be a good incentive to look after ourselves. Good health is the real wealth in life!
Here are a few self-care tips:-
- Keep hydrated. Drink plenty of water. The recommended daily intake is 1.5-2 litres a day
- Strengthen boundaries. Decide what your limits are and communicate these to others. Get clarity on what you will and won’t tolerate
- Eat 5 pieces of fruit or vegetables every day
- It’s recommended that you undertake 30 minutes of physical exercise every day. You could go for a walk or if you prefer go to a gym.
- Ensure that you get enough sleep so your body has time to relax and recover. Keep your sleep patterns regular; where possible go to bed and get up at the same time every day.
- Minimise the amount of caffeine that you have on a daily basis and keep alcohol intake within the recommended weekly limits
- Put some time aside to watch some funny movies or comedy shows and have a good laugh. Humour helps you feel good, more relaxed and energised.
- Avoid negative people and environments that drag you down. Ensure that you spend time with people who radiate energy and help you increase your energy levels and not deplete them!
- Give up being a people pleaser. Be kind to yourself and ensure that your self-talk is encouraging and positive.
- Be comfortable saying no when you have numerous demands on your time and let go of things that you can’t control.
- Unplug from technology on at least one day a week. Give your brain a rest and be in the moment.
This week, why not pause for a few moments to reflect and consider if you need to take any action to put your needs first more often. Also think about what personal steps you need to take to create more balance and energy in your life.
To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk