“One of the greatest discoveries a person makes, one of their great surprises, is to find they can do what they were afraid they couldn’t do.” Henry Ford.
It’s been a big week for the United Kingdom. After over 40 years membership, we have left the European Union. The issue of our membership has caused much division, uncertainty and anxiety since a vote was held in 2016 about whether we leave or remain in the Union.
The uncertainty that has been prevalent over the past three and half years has created much fear for many people who have felt frightened about what happens next and what leaving the Union will mean in the long term.
Some businesses have been unable to plan with any certainty and as a result cut back their spending and deferred investment decisions. Many individuals have been unsure about how their daily lives will be affected and the impact it will have on future travel plans to European Union countries.
Much of what has happened has been outside people’s control but that hasn’t stopped them feeling frightened.
Sometimes we can control events and yet still feel some fear about the future.
Watching the events unfold made me reflect on the effect that other people’s actions and fear can have on our life experiences, results and fulfilment of potential (if we let them!).
We’re are all born with unlimited potential but on occasions we simply get in our own way and make life more complicated than it really needs to be.
There’s a great quotation by Confucius, “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated!” Sometimes the biggest limitations we have in life are the ones that we impose on ourselves and have in our own minds.
Fear is one of our biggest limitations (or interferences as I like to call them). Many people refer to fear as “False Expectations Appearing Real!”
Much of what we worry about and are frightened by never actually happens. However, this doesn’t stop us worrying!
There are many fears that stop people fulfilling their potential and goals. These include a fear of change and the unknown which keeps us some stuck in our comfort zone. Also a fear of rejection stops us asking for what we want, a fear of criticism which prevents us attempting a new approach to a task. A fear of success for some individuals means they self sabotage their results so that they continue to mesh with the crowd.
The effect of fear on results and people’s lives forms part of the coaching discussions that I have with a fair proportion of clients at some stage. It affects people from all walks of life.
When people are going through or contemplating some form of change in their life, it can cause fears to crop up. Often people don’t realise the impact that fear is having on them and how it’s holding them back until they start talking about their goals or challenges. It’s normally an unconscious behaviour.
It appears that we’re all afraid of something whether it’s spiders, flying, speaking in public or walking into a roomful of strangers.
The philosopher Bertrand Russell said: “Fear is the main source of superstition and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.”
Fear is a very small word but can have a massive impact on someone’s life and performance. It can be a powerful and paralysing force. I was once told we’re born with just two fears – the fear of noise and falling down. Every other fear we have is a learned behaviour.
The good news about interferences including fear is that they are a learned behaviour and therefore we can unlearn them! It requires us to form some new habits and behaviours. Changing our daily habits and rituals is the starting point that allows us to get out of our own way.
Challenges and obstacles do present us with an opportunity to learn and grow. When we search for solutions to overcome them we discover new depths. We may find that we’re more creative than we realised when we devise new and innovative solutions. This can help develop our self-confidence and self-worth. Self-belief can increase when we face and overcome our obstacles. Faith in our ability when confronted with an obstacle is a great habit to develop.
Adopting a positive mindset to interferences and obstacles is another great quality to hone. As is, believing that obstacles are an opportunity to gain new knowledge and experience. Overcoming interferences provides a sense of accomplishment and is a useful future reference point when faced with similar challenges in the future.
If there’s a fear you would like to overcome, getting some external help or friend’s support is a good way to start the ball rolling. It provides an accountability mechanism and is a source of encouragement. It also gives an external input that we all need sometimes.
This week, why not take a few moments out to reflect and think about the role that fear plays in your life. Is there a fear that is holding you back and preventing you from being the best you can be? If so what small steps will you commit to in order to conquer the grip that this fear has on you?
To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk</str