Month: June 2020

“Resilience is all about being able to overcome the unexpected. Sustainability is about survival. The goal of resilience is to thrive.” Jamais Cascio.

We are living in very challenging times at present given the Coronavirus (Covid-19) pandemic that’s affecting the world. Here in the UK, lockdown measures are starting to be relaxed gradually and cautiously. Coping with the crisis and the way we live and work has and will require people to be resilient.

Resilience is defined in the dictionary as the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties and having toughness. The ability to deal with relentless change and to be flexible in their thinking are key to helping people cope with the demands created by the virus.

Resilience is an innate human quality. It involves having to continually anticipate and adjust to shifting situations. It also includes having the capacity to quickly bounce back from set-backs, challenges and disappointments. This is a useful and wonderful quality to possess.

It may be that the ability to adapt and bounce back is stronger in some people than others. However, with focus and attention you can develop your resilience just as you can build up muscles through regular exercise. I believe that having great resilience and the capability to find extra reserves of energy when required are vital to help people not just survive but thrive.

Certain conditions in people’s lives help them to be resilient. These include receiving regular encouragement from others and having people they can talk to without feeling judged. Maintaining good health with regular exercise, sufficient sleep and a healthy diet play an important role. As does, staying optimistic and expecting things to work out for the best. Involvement in community projects and charitable causes also help.

As I mentioned above, it’s possible to develop your resilience. Here are some ideas and tips on how to do this: –

Goal setting.

Having personal, even small every day goals help you to look towards the future with optimism. They provide a sense of accomplishment once completed. Small action steps applied consistently every day lead to outstanding results. Goal achievement helps to provide a strong reference point in the future if you encounter challenges or if the going gets tough.

Acceptance and positive expectations.

Accept that you are unable to change the past. Instead focus your energy on the present moment and your growth and development. Have positive expectations of success and create a mechanism to review your progress. Place your attention on how you are progressing in life and remind yourself regularly how you have evolved. Maintain a positive attitude and optimistic outlook.

Make room in your life for laughter and fun.

Maintain a sense of humour and see the funny side of a situation when facing a challenge. This is a great coping mechanism and an excellent habit to develop. It helps to relieve stress and keep your spirits up. To ensure you laugh often set regular time aside to watch funny movies, tv shows or read humorous books.

Remember how you conquered previous challenges.

When you face a fresh challenge reflect on how you conquered a previous challenge. Remind yourself of the learnings that you took from the experience. It’s good to have clarity about how you coped with previous hardships and the skills and strategies that helped you. It’s useful when a difficulty presents itself to tell yourself “Everything changes and like a storm that this too will pass.”

The importance of self-care.

Take care of your needs and feelings both physically and emotionally. Engage in hobbies and pastimes that you really enjoy and contribute positively to your overall wellbeing. Get sufficient sleep each night and maintain regular sleep patterns. Exercise for 30 minutes each day. A brisk daily walk or run is a good way to achieve this and gives you some fresh air.

Maintain a journal.

Writing things down helps to externalise your feelings and provides a sense of clarity and perspective. It quite often allows you to view situations in a different way and conjures up new perspectives for you to consider. Often it can help you to create some new ideas, approaches and action plans to put into practice to solve problems.

Practice stress management and relaxation techniques.

Yoga, meditation or visualization techniques help to reduce anxiety and keep stress levels under control. They provide a sense of inner calm and balance. Mindfulness techniques are gaining in popularity. There are some good resources available such as apps and books to help learn and develop these.

All of these approaches contribute positively to helping people to cope effectively with difficult and challenging circumstances and to develop their mental toughness and resilience.

This week, why not take a few moments to reflect and consider how resilient you are. Is there any action you need to take to develop your resilience?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” Marcel Proust.

We’ve all lived through a challenging time and new reality due to the Coronavirus (Covid-19) pandemic that has affected the world over the past few months. As well as the dangers to our physical health, much concern has been expressed about the effect of the crisis on people’s mental health.

The social distancing and lockdown measures introduced have meant we’ve been unable to go to cinemas, bars and restaurants, have had less events to attend and fewer shops to visit. This has given us an opportunity to reflect and think about what we really value and our key priorities.

When we have many distractions and demands on our time, we can forget and take for granted things to be grateful for. It has been said many times “You only miss something when it’s gone.” The past few months have given us a chance to get really clear on what we really appreciate and are grateful for in life.

It’s easy for us to fall into the trap of focusing our mind on what we lack, what’s not working and what’s wrong with life. Falling into this habit doesn’t help our energy levels and mood. Neither does it help us to maintain a positive outlook.

All too easily we can take for granted that at the turn of a tap we have fresh running water to drink and wash in. Similarly, at the flick of a switch we have electricity to power the kettle to make a hot drink when we wake up. We can even not fully appreciate that we have the gift of life.

I’ve found that being more deliberate about practising gratitude and acknowledging all that there is to be grateful for in life helps my energy levels. It keeps me happy, positive and better equipped to deal with challenges and hassles when they appear.

When I first started deliberately practising this approach, I wrote a list of 50 things to be grateful for which I added to over the course of a month. I still refer to this list from time to time when things don’t go as planned, if I’m facing an obstacle or if my energy level drops. It always lifts my spirits and mood and helps to put things into balance and perspective.

After reading the list, I remind myself that whatever issue I am facing “This too will pass.” It’s a bit like pressing a reset button on a computer.

Another practice that I have found helpful is to take the time to acknowledge positive events when they happen. I make a note of such events on post it notes which I put in a jar. I note down acts of kindness, positive feedback, receipt of income, gifts, unexpected windfalls, great customer service etc. It also includes great experiences such as days out, time by the sea, nice meals, going to a concert, sporting events etc.

At the end of each year, I take out the notes and read them all. I find this to be an excellent way to acknowledge and appreciate all the things that I’ve been fortunate to experience during that year. Also, before I go to sleep each night, I take the time to mentally acknowledge at least 3 things from the day that I can be grateful for.

Robert A. Emmons & Michael McCullough are two of the leading scholars on the topic of gratitude and they have researched and written about its power to boost happiness. In one of their studies, they carried out research with 3 experimental groups over a ten-week period.

1. The first group was asked to write down five things they were grateful for that had happened in the last week for each of the 10 weeks of the study. This was called the gratitude condition.
2. The second group was asked to write down five daily hassles from the previous week. This was the hassles condition.

1. The third group simply listed five events that had occurred in the last week, but not told to focus on positive or negative aspects. This was the events or control condition.

Before the experiment began participants had kept daily journals to chronicle their moods, physical health and general attitudes. These were then used to provide a comparison for after the experimental intervention.

People who were in the gratitude condition felt fully 25% happier – they were more optimistic about the future, they felt better about their lives and they even did almost 1.5 hours more exercise a week than those in the hassles or events condition.

Martin Seligman is a leading expert on positive psychology and a very successful author. He has looked extensively at the effect and benefits of practising gratitude in his work. He has found that writing down what you are grateful for has the ability to shape your mood positively in lasting ways.

This week why not take some time to reflect and then start writing a list of things that you are grateful for. You could aim to create a list of at least 50 things within a month.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk