Month: August 2022

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” Albert Einstein.

In last week’s blog I talked about my late mother and the lasting impact her kindness had on a lady she worked with. At the end of the blog, I suggested that people reflect and consider how they could use their gifts and talents to positively impact the world in their daily interactions and in doing so help to build their legacy in a step-by-step way.

Writing the blog reminded me of a story I read about Alfred Nobel and how a mistake changed the destiny of his life. The tale shows clearly how mistakes can have very positive outcomes, if we are prepared to look for the teachings they provide.

Alfred Nobel was born in Sweden in 1833 and was a chemist, engineer, innovator and armaments manufacturer. He was one of the most successful entrepreneurs of the nineteenth century. In 1867 he patented his new explosive “dynamite.” By 1880 he was head of one of the largest dynamite producing cartels in the world.

And then one day a simple mistake changed his life forever. In 1888, the death of his brother Ludvig caused several newspapers to publish obituaries of Alfred in error. A French obituary stated “Le marchand de la mort est mort” (“The merchant of death is dead”).  Due to this error, Alfred got the opportunity to do what lots of people would like to do. He was able to read his own obituary and saw what people had made of his life. But he read phrases like “merchant of death” and “that his fortune was amassed finding new ways to mutilate and kill.”

As Nobel held the newspaper in his hands, he vowed that this wasn’t how he should be remembered, and he decided that, from that very day, his life wouldn’t just be successful but significant. He began using his vast wealth to encourage the arts, science and above all peace. This was the origin of the Nobel peace prize.

Few who have watched people collect the Nobel Peace prize, as Nelson Mandella did in 1995, will realise that the event was due to the error of journalists. Their simple mistakes changed another man’s life forever and in doing so changed many other people’s lives too.

It’s possible for people to be very self-critical for a long period of time about their mistakes and fail to forgive themselves. Mistakes are part of life and inevitable. As the poet Alexander Pope so accurately said “To err is human; to forgive divine.”

Many people that I’ve coached over the years have been very hard on themselves and needed some help to let go of mistakes they were holding onto. It’s easy to fall into this trap of repeating these incidents in our minds, to focus on what has gone wrong and didn’t work out the way we planned. As opposed to focusing on what’s right and is going well.  This can mean that we limit what we achieve in life.

As shown in Nobel’s story not all mistakes are bad and learning how to use them to your advantage is a positive personal habit to develop. When we make mistakes it’s an opportunity to learn and deepen our knowledge. Such situations can help us discover hidden depths in ourselves.

Mistakes give us the chance to figure out what we really like and value in life. They also help us clarify what’s important to us. Although they can be painful and lead to a difficult period to navigate, they can help us to grow. A great habit to get into following a mistake is to ask yourself “What is this teaching me?”

It’s also important to remember that our mistakes don’t define us as a person as they are just a snapshot of our life. We’re much more than our challenges or past mistakes. Sadly, some people don’t achieve all that they could in life because they procrastinate and become paralysed by a fear of making a mistake or experiencing failure.

Thomas Edison didn’t see his 10,000 attempts to invent the light bulb as failures. He saw them as discoveries of ways that didn’t work and moved him closer to a solution.

I often say to clients when they are contemplating change and a new approach that there is no failure only feedback, to not fear mistakes and to go for it.

This week, why not pause for a few moments to reflect and consider what mistakes made by you or others, you need to let go and forgive. Also, think about what these mistakes have taught you.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“The way you see people is the way you treat them and the way you treat them is what they become.” Johann Wolfgang Van Goethe.

Recently, whilst out shopping I unexpectedly met a lady who used to work with my late mother. She told me she was sad to learn of my mother’s passing and was glad she had been able to attend her funeral as she hadn’t been able to visit her for a few years due to the Covid pandemic.

The lady explained that when she started work my mother took her under her wing and showed her the ropes. She made it clear that my mother’s guidance had helped her to grow and develop. She said that she was very fond of my mother, who she said was like a second mother to her.  She described my mother as kind and very wise. It was so nice to hear how my mother had made such a difference to the lady’s life and had left a positive lasting impression.

My mother was kind, she loved people and helping others brought her joy. However, she would have been a bit embarrassed by such praise as she was very modest and unassuming. She never sought the limelight or to be the centre attention. That said, inwardly she would have been pleased and proud to hear that she had left a positive lasting impression.

My unexpected interaction got me thinking about how we never really know how our words and deeds influence the people we meet and interact with. I concluded that each moment of our life presents an opportunity for us to make a positive difference to the world and to build our legacy. It also brought to mind the following story:

The Wise Woman’s Stone

One day a wise woman was travelling in the mountains, where she found a precious stone in a stream. The next day, she met another traveller who was hungry and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food with him.

The hungry traveller saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so immediately and without hesitation, even though she knew how valuable it was. The traveller left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. However, a few days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman.

“I’ve been thinking,” He said, “I know how valuable the stone is, but I want to give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious.”

“What is that?” the wise woman asked.

“Please can you give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone?”

This week why not take a few moments to reflect and think about how someone’s else’s wisdom has positively impacted your life. Consider how you can use your gifts and talents to positively impact the world in your daily interactions and in doing so help to build your legacy in a step-by-step way.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk