Month: October 2023

“A calm mind brings inner strength and self-confidence, so that’s very important for good health.” Dalai Lama.

Change can be a positive thing and produce really good results but the process of getting from A to B can be a bumpy ride. It can be challenging to remain calm when there’s lots of change happening in your life.

Negative interactions, environments and news stories can also have a detrimental effect on our equilibrium and stop us from feeling calm. We can easily feel pressured and stressed by having to respond to many different demands and juggle many priorities.

We have been conditioned to think in terms of instant gratification and results. Today’s fast paced society allows us access to a lot of information and resources quickly. This can leave us feeling overwhelmed.

The major advances in technology like smart phones, laptops and tablets can make us feel like we are always “switched on and connected to the external world.”

There is also a new phenomenon “FOMO” (fear of missing out) which means that many people spend lots of time connected to social media feeds in order to catch up on all the latest news and updates by their connections. We also have rolling 24/7 news bulletins which allow for major news stories to be brought to us in wall-to-wall coverage which goes into lots of detail.

This can mean that our minds struggle to get some quality downtime and have a rest. There’s little time to process and assess information that we come across. The demands of life can mean that we have limited patience to let things unfold naturally.

An instant gratification mindset can lead us to not fully appreciate our life experiences as we move quickly from one event and experience to the next. It can lead us to not really ground our goals and allow them to take root.

At times we can also fail to appreciate all that we have and spend time thinking about what is missing from our lives. It’s very easy to set goals and then become so focused on the destination and outcome that we fail to enjoy the journey of pursuing and achieving them.

Here are a few thoughts on things that can help us to be calm and centred: –

Reduce the amount of time spent on technology

Have a cut off time for when to stop checking your phone, emails and social media feeds. Consider a technology detox and give yourself a technology free day (or weekend) every week.

Develop greater patience

It is said that patience is a virtue. Having more patience helps to create more life balance and stops us expecting instant results. Letting life unfold naturally develops inner calm and reduces anxiety.

Develop the “acceptance” habit

Accept things as they are and stop trying to rewrite history. This means that you can focus on being more present and consider options and solutions to resolve challenges.

Externalise thoughts

Get into the habit of doing a mind dump of things that are worrying you or causing anxiety. Regularly record your reflections, lessons, desires and insights in a journal or notebook.

Create some quiet time – no distractions

Schedule some daily time where you are alone with your thoughts. It can be just 5 or 10 minutes. This will allow you to gain valuable insights and allow your inner wisdom to rise to the surface.

Less is more

Focus on fewer things. Get rid of unwanted items and clutter. Reduce the number of goals and tasks that you’re responsible for. Let goals take root rather than giving them superficial attention.

This week, why not pause for a few moments to reflect. Ask yourself what action steps you can take to bring greater calmness to your world.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

 “What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.” Plutarch.

World Mental Health Day is happening on Tuesday 10 October and it’s all about raising awareness of mental health and driving positive change for everyone’s mental health. It’s also a chance to talk about mental health, how we need to look after it, and how important it is to get help if you are struggling.

The theme for this year, as set by the World Federation for Mental Health, is ‘‘Mental health is a universal human right’’. The Mental Health Foundation in the UK are encouraging friends, families or colleagues to come together and hold a Tea & Talk! More information is available on their website (www.mentalhealth.org.uk).

Mental wellbeing describes your mental state, how you are feeling and how well you can cope with day-to-day life. Our mental wellbeing is dynamic. It can change from moment to moment, day to day, month to month or year to year. It’s influenced by life events and experiences.

If we have good mental wellbeing, we’re able to:

• Feel relatively confident in our self and have positive self-esteem
• Feel and express a range of emotions
• Build and maintain good relationships with others
• Feel engaged with the world around us
• Live and work productively
• Cope with the stresses of daily life
• Adapt and manage in times of change and uncertainty

Talking is good for your mental health and talking about it is important. However, starting a conversation isn’t always easy. Whether you’d like to talk to someone about how you’re feeling, or check-in with someone you care about, here are some tips that can help which are from the Mental Health Foundation website.

Tips for talking about mental health.

1. Choose someone you trust to talk to. 

This might be a friend, family member or a colleague. Or you might be more comfortable talking to someone you don’t know, for example, through a support helpline. It can help to do a pros and cons list about talking to someone.

2. Think about the best place to talk.

It’s important to choose a place where you feel comfortable enough to open-up. You might want to choose somewhere private where you’re less likely to be disturbed. You also might want to talk while you do an activity, like walking together.

3. Prepare yourself for their reaction.

Hopefully, you will have a good experience when you open-up to someone. But there’s a chance that they may not react in the way you hope. This may be for different reasons, like they may be worried or not fully understand at first.  If that’s the case, try to give them time to process what you’ve told them. It might help to give them information to read to help them understand. And don’t forget to be kind to yourself and practise self-care.

Talking to someone about their mental health.

1. Find a good space to talk without distractions.

If you’re worried about someone, try to find a place where you know you can have a conversation without being distracted. Make sure to give them your full attention. It might help to switch off your phone.

2. Listen and ask questions.

Listening can be one of the most valuable ways to be there for someone. Show them that you’re actively listening by facing them, making eye contact, and not interrupting. Questions can help you clarify what they mean and also show that you’re actively listening. But make sure the questions are relevant to what they’re saying, and not changing the subject.

3. Ask how you can help.

Ask how you can help or make suggestions, rather than telling them what to do next. They might want support with making a GP appointment, help around the house, or just for you to keep things normal and chat about what’s going on in your life.

If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, you are not alone, and there are places you can go to get help. We’ve all been living through uncertain and difficult times recently. Whether we are worried about the big stuff – or the small, it’s OK to feel overwhelmed, down, or anxious – and it may help to talk about how you’re feeling.

Usually, your GP is the first place you should go if you have concerns about your mental health that won’t go away – or if you have thoughts about suicide at any time.

Contact the NHS 24 Mental Health Hub by calling 111 if you need to get help when your GP isn’t open or available.

You may prefer to get free, confidential support by phone or online. You can:

• Call Samaritans on 116 123 at any time of the day or night.
• Call Breathing Space on 0800 83 85 87 or visit their website.
• Message SHOUT to 85258 for 24/7 text support on your mobile.
• If you are a child or young person, you can call Childline on 0800 1111 or talk to them online.
• Call the CALM helpline on 0800 58 58 58 or use their webchat. The helpline and webchat are both open 5pm to midnight, 365 days a year.

This week why not take a few minutes out to reflect and think about mental well- being. What action can you take to ensure you maintain good mental health? Alternatively, consider what help can you give to someone who may be finding life challenging at present.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk