“Focus on your potential instead of your limitations.” Alan Loy McGinnis.

This coming Friday is September 11th and marks the 25th anniversary of the awful 9/11 attacks on the United States. The day has added significance for me as at 2pm on that day in 2001 (9am New York time), I facilitated my first coaching assignment with a client.

Since that first formal coaching session, it has been a great source of enjoyment for me helping people to find hidden strengths and talents. I find it fulfilling when clients discover and use more of their potential. It’s a privilege to do work that I love and to support people to “be the best they can be.” I always derive a great deal of satisfaction from observing people grow, develop and flourish.

Here are some insights that I have gleaned from my coaching sessions:

  • Some people resist coaching to begin with, as they feel to talk about themselves is too self-indulgent. They’re normally focused on helping others rather than focusing on their own needs.
  • We have two ears and one mouth for a reason! We learn so much more from listening rather than talking. Never underestimate the power of the pause in a conversation. If you leave a gap, invariably people will fill it!
  • When people say “I don’t know” in response to a question, ask them “if you did know, what would the answer be?” In my experience, they will tell you the answer and it’s normally a gem!
  • Life is short and fragile, good health is the real wealth in life. Remember that there are no pockets in a shroud! it’s important to not put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket! In a world where you can be anything, just be yourself!
  • Listen to and honour your instincts. When you have an intuitive insight act on it! It’s ok to challenge a client’s response provided that you have a genuine intention to help when challenging them. In doing so, you may open up a new way of thinking and provide a major breakthrough to your client.
  • Some people spend lots of their time looking at where they are going in life via the rear-view mirror, rather than looking forward. It’s like they are walking backwards into the future.
  • At the start of coaching assignments, it’s common for clients to be quite self-critical and hard on themselves. They talk about what they aren’t very good at and their setbacks and disappointments in life. Sadly, some find it difficult to articulate their strengths, talents and achievements until they are encouraged to do so.
  • The instant gratification society that we now live in doesn’t help people to feel calm and relaxed. Lots of people feel a pressure to perform and compete with others. This is influenced by social media, the traditional media they read and/or watch. The marketing messages that they are bombarded with on a daily basis also have a big influence.
  • Many clients talk about what they don’t want and don’t always find it easy to articulate what they do want. Deep down people know what they desire but haven’t always given themselves permission to pause, reflect, take stock and unearth the right answers for them.When clients do take the time to focus on their needs and desires, they find the coaching process hugely rewarding. They get significant clarity and discover hidden gifts and treasures. it’s sad that some people have never been encouraged to “be the best they can be” or had access to the right support to stretch and challenge themselves.

 
Although we may share some habits, beliefs and interests with other people, we’re all unique and have the choice and chance to write our own life scripts. We really are the director of our own life movie.

We can reduce the pressure on ourselves when we quit comparing our results in life to that of others. So many people play the comparison game. They compare their progress and results in life to others, such as old school friends, family members, colleagues, neighbours etc. Quite often they compare their worst results to others best results.

Unsurprisingly, I have yet to come across anyone who has compared themselves to someone else and found that they are exactly the same! Instead of comparing ourselves to other people, we can choose to review our progress against the goals and standards that we set for ourselves.

I firmly believe that the right answers for our unique life experience rest inside all of us. However, to discover the right answers, occasionally we need to create some space to reflect and answer some key questions.

When we are honest with ourselves, we get clarity on the way forward and quite often some magic happens. Options to overcome challenges and solutions to problems that had previously not been considered magically manifest. The energy and motivation to take action also appears.

This week, why not pause for a few moments and consider what brings you the greatest happiness and satisfaction in life. Then ask yourself if you’re spending enough time on these areas. Also think about the personal accomplishments that you’re most proud of and take the time to celebrate.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk