When I was on holiday earlier in the year, I got a great reminder that life is full of surprises.

After a visiting a beautiful beach, which is a vast expanse of sand and framed by steep and dramatic cliffs, my wife and I visited a lovely café which has wonderful views of the coastline. You have to climb some very steep steps from the beach to get back to the path that leads to the car park and café. We have been there many times and is one of our favourite places.

After climbing the steps and pausing for a while to take in the view and catch our breath we made our way back to the car park and café. We followed and then overtook a couple who had picked up some litter and discarded fishing nets from the beach. It’s a long walk back probably close to one mile and they were a bit laden down.

When the couple reached the car park they discovered that there wasn’t a waste bin for them to dispose of the rubbish they had picked up. They went to a little gift shop that is there and the staff suggested they speak with the café owner as he had lots of industrial sized bins and they didn’t have any.

Whilst I was waiting for some food I’d ordered to arrive, I heard the man tell the café owner that he’d been told to ask for him and that he may be able to help him dispose of the rubbish. To my surprise, the normally very friendly café owner declined to help the man or let him dispose of the rubbish in his bins.

I’m not sure why he took this stance. He merely told the man that he would have to take it home with him. He was pretty unhelpful and abrupt. It may be that the café owner didn’t have room in his bins or was having a bad day. However, even if he didn’t want the rubbish in his bins, I felt he could have handled the situation more diplomatically and with a little more warmth.

To his credit, the man accepted the café owner’s attitude with good grace and although he looked shocked with the reaction he received he didn’t react with any hostility. He turned around and walked out, got in his car and left the site. I wondered if he had decided not to purchase anything from the café as a protest and therefore through his actions the café owner had lost some business.

I have to admit that it slightly changed my perception of the café and the owner. I did think that if I hadn’t already ordered lunch then I might have suggested we go elsewhere for some refreshments as a bit of a silent protest.

The incident did make me more determined to encourage people to be kind and considerate in their dealings with others. An act of kindness doesn’t have to cost anything. It can create a positive ripple by encouraging others to also be kind and generous. Unhelpful behaviour or mean spirited actions may cost someone a great deal. As the sayings go “you reap what you sow” and “what goes around comes around.”

A few things occurred to me following the incident:-

  • When we seek to do good deeds in the world and the right thing we may meet with resistance and challenge but we should persevere.
  • If we are knocked back and rejected it shouldn’t deter us from doing the right thing in the future.
  • The café owner’s decision and choice had an impact on others who weren’t connected to the conversation. It may have cost him some business and negatively affected his reputation.
  • Be careful what you say and how you say it. You never know who is listening.
  • People might not remember what you say but they will always remember how you made them feel.
  • It isn’t always what you say but the way that you say it. According to Albert Mehrabian tone is 38% of communication, with words just 7% with body language making up the other 55%.

This week why not take a few moments out for reflection. Consider if you have witnessed something similar to what I have described above. What lessons have situations like this taught you about how to handle people and behave?

This week’s quotation:

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” Aesop.

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