“Keep your THOUGHTS positive because your thoughts become your WORDS

Keep your WORDS positive because your words become your BEHAVIOUR

Keep your BEHAVIOUR positive because your behaviour becomes your HABITS

Keep your HABITS positive because your habits become your VALUES

Keep your VALUES positive because they become your DESTINY.” Mathatma Gandhi.

Much is written about integrity and its importance in developing trust and healthy relationships. It’s a personal quality of fairness and doing the right thing in a reliable way. It’s important to me and something that I expect from others. My trust in people can be quickly eroded if they don’t act in the right way.

For me, being true to your word and honouring commitments made is a major part of acting with integrity. Last week, I was dismayed when an organisation I’ve dealt with for many years didn’t act in an honourable way regarding a refund I’m due.

Coincidentally, In the same week, I read an article in a newspaper about Mathatma Gandhi which reminded me of a story about him which illustrates how integrity can be easily developed.

The article stated that a pair of Gandhi’s glasses are to go on sale after spending a weekend sticking halfway out of an auction house’s letterbox. Staff at East Bristol Auctions found the glasses in a plain envelope on a Monday morning. Auctioneer Andrew Stowe said the eyewear, expected to fetch more than £15,000, was the most important find in the company’s history. He said the owner “nearly had a heart attack” when he was told their value.

The story about Gandhi dates back to 1931, when he travelled to Britain to attend the round table conference and influence the British public over the plight of India under British rule. Here was a man with no perceived power. He appeared frail, dressed in simple robes with no political office and no wealth.

He spoke for nearly two hours without notes and he mesmerized many members of parliament and the press. Since it was difficult for the press to reach Gandhi due to the crowds and security, the press approached his secretary, Mahadev Desai to ask some questions.

One of the questions they asked was how he was able to speak so powerfully for 2 hours without any notes!

He said, “You don’t understand. You don’t understand Gandhi. You see what he thinks is what he feels. What he feels is what he says and what he says is what he does. What Gandhi thinks, what he feels, what he says and what he does are all the same. He doesn’t need notes. You and I think things that sometimes may be different than what we feel. What we say depends on who’s listening. What we do depends on who’s watching. It isn’t so with him. He needs no notes.”

Keeping promises made to others is important but so is honouring the promises made to ourselves as these can often be overlooked. It’s very easy to fall into the trap of meeting other people’s needs and putting our own needs on the back burner. Placing insufficient value on our needs in this way can have a negative impact on our self-esteem and erode inner peace. It’s a reason why some people have inner conflict and don’t achieve the goals they set.

Occasionally, it’s useful to remind ourselves that we have a choice before we make commitments and that there’s only limited time available each day. Prior to making a commitment get into the habit of ensuring it’s a good use of your time and something that you really want to do.

Also convince yourself you aren’t just agreeing to do something to avoid conflict. This habit can be overcome by learning to say no more often, giving a greater priority to your own needs and being more assertive.

Many people apply a “no exceptions rule” to their personal commitments. Once they have decided what they’re going to do, it’s a done deal and non-negotiable. They no longer have an inner debate.

Instead they focus on taking the actions determined by their commitment. It makes life simpler and frees up lots of energy that would be used up debating the topic internally.

The “no exceptions rule” is all about being true to yourself and aligning your thoughts, feelings and actions in the way that Gandhi showed us all those years ago.

Reflection time:

This week why not pause for a few moments to reflect and consider if there’s any action you need to take to honour commitments you have made to yourself previously. Also ponder if there are any existing commitments you have with others that need some form of renegotiation or amendment.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk