Category: Positive Attitude Page 2 of 210

“Focus on your potential instead of your limitations.” Alan Loy McGinnis.

This coming Friday is September 11^th and marks the 25^th anniversary of the awful 9/11 attacks on the United States. The day has added significance for me as at 2pm on that day in 2001 (9am New York time), I facilitated my first coaching assignment with a client.

Since that first formal coaching session, it has been a great source of enjoyment for me helping people to find hidden strengths and talents. I find it fulfilling when clients discover and use more of their potential. It’s a privilege to do work that I love and to support people to “be the best they can be.” I always derive a great deal of satisfaction from observing people grow, develop and flourish.

Here are some insights that I have gleaned from my coaching sessions:

• Some people resist coaching to begin with, as they feel to talk about themselves is too self-indulgent. They’re normally focused on helping others rather than focusing on their own needs.
• We have two ears and one mouth for a reason! We learn so much more from listening rather than talking. Never underestimate the power of the pause in a conversation. If you leave a gap, invariably people will fill it!
• When people say “I don’t know” in response to a question, ask them “if you did know, what would the answer be?” In my experience, they will tell you the answer and it’s normally a gem!
• Life is short and fragile, good health is the real wealth in life. Remember that there are no pockets in a shroud! it’s important to not put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket! In a world where you can be anything, just be yourself!
• Listen to and honour your instincts. When you have an intuitive insight act on it! It’s ok to challenge a client’s response provided that you have a genuine intention to help when challenging them. In doing so, you may open up a new way of thinking and provide a major breakthrough to your client.
• Some people spend lots of their time looking at where they are going in life via the rear-view mirror, rather than looking forward. It’s like they are walking backwards into the future.
• At the start of coaching assignments, it’s common for clients to be quite self-critical and hard on themselves. They talk about what they aren’t very good at and their setbacks and disappointments in life. Sadly, some find it difficult to articulate their strengths, talents and achievements until they are encouraged to do so.
• The instant gratification society that we now live in doesn’t help people to feel calm and relaxed. Lots of people feel a pressure to perform and compete with others. This is influenced by social media, the traditional media they read and/or watch. The marketing messages that they are bombarded with on a daily basis also have a big influence.
• Many clients talk about what they don’t want and don’t always find it easy to articulate what they do want. Deep down people know what they desire but haven’t always given themselves permission to pause, reflect, take stock and unearth the right answers for them.When clients do take the time to focus on their needs and desires, they find the coaching process hugely rewarding. They get significant clarity and discover hidden gifts and treasures. it’s sad that some people have never been encouraged to “be the best they can be” or had access to the right support to stretch and challenge themselves.

 
Although we may share some habits, beliefs and interests with other people, we’re all unique and have the choice and chance to write our own life scripts. We really are the director of our own life movie.

We can reduce the pressure on ourselves when we quit comparing our results in life to that of others. So many people play the comparison game. They compare their progress and results in life to others, such as old school friends, family members, colleagues, neighbours etc. Quite often they compare their worst results to others best results.

Unsurprisingly, I have yet to come across anyone who has compared themselves to someone else and found that they are exactly the same! Instead of comparing ourselves to other people, we can choose to review our progress against the goals and standards that we set for ourselves.

I firmly believe that the right answers for our unique life experience rest inside all of us. However, to discover the right answers, occasionally we need to create some space to reflect and answer some key questions.

When we are honest with ourselves, we get clarity on the way forward and quite often some magic happens. Options to overcome challenges and solutions to problems that had previously not been considered magically manifest. The energy and motivation to take action also appears.

This week, why not pause for a few moments and consider what brings you the greatest happiness and satisfaction in life. Then ask yourself if you’re spending enough time on these areas. Also think about the personal accomplishments that you’re most proud of and take the time to celebrate.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself.” Henry Ford.

Back in 2015, I published a blog about the lessons we can learn from geese. I had been inspired to write it after a weekend walk by our local river where I had spotted some geese flying in formation. It had reminded me of an article called ‘The Lessons from Geese’ that I had read previously. These lessons were originally written in 1972 by Dr Robert McNeish who had been intrigued with observing geese for years.

Therefore, I read with interest an article on the topic on the BBC website recently. It detailed how the Rugby coach Eddie Jones was getting his Japan side to watch videos of geese flying in formation as a coaching method.

He said “The reason we watch videos of geese is that the head of the flock is like the ball-carrier. The ball carrier is king and then everyone has got to follow after that. The geese fly thousands of miles in formation and they follow the one goose in front and it’s the responsibility of the support players to respond to what the ball-carrier does.’’

Jones isn’t the only coach to have used geese to motivate his players. Apparently, Alex Ferguson, during his 26 trophy laden years at Manchester United would often stop training and tell his players to look at the sky and observe the geese overhead.

He would point out the perfect V formation and tell his players that each bird would take its turn to lead from the front as they embarked on a 4000-mile migration in the winter. Finally, he would add “Now if they can do that, you can give me 38 games to win the league.”

Ferguson famously used the story to motivate Team Europe’s players at Golf’s 2014 Ryder Cup. The Scot was asked to speak to the players before the tournament in Gleneagles by team captain Paul McGinley, where he recounted the story of the geese. Europe strolled to victory, with McGinley revealing afterwards that the players heeded Ferguson’s words throughout the tournament. “It was a phrase we used throughout the week: remember the geese” McGinley said.

I have reproduced Dr Robert McNeish thoughts below:

1) As each goose flaps its wings, it creates an “uplift” for the bird following. By flying in a “V” formation, the whole flock adds 71% more flying range than if each bird flew alone.

Lesson: People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier because they are travelling on the thrust of one another.

2) Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to fly alone and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the “lifting power” of the bird immediately in front.

Lesson: if we have as much sense as a goose, we will join in formations with those who are headed where we want to go.

3) When the lead goose gets tired, it rotates back into the formation and another goose flies at the point position.

Lesson: It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership, respecting each other’s unique arrangement of skills, capabilities and talents.

4) The geese in formation honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

Lesson: We need to make sure our honking from behind is encouraging not something less helpful!

5) When a goose gets sick or wounded, two geese drop out of the formation and follow their fellow member down to help provide protection. They stay with this member of the flock until he or she is able to fly again or dies. They then launch out on their own, with another formation or catch up with their own.

Lesson: If we have as much sense as the geese, we’ll stand by each other in difficult times as well as when we are strong.

This week, why not take a few moments to reflect. Consider the teams that you are involved with professionally and/or personally. Is there a lesson from the geese that could be applied to the team to improve its effectiveness?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Follow your instincts. That’s where true wisdom manifests itself.” Oprah Winfrey.

A few months ago, I had a brilliant reminder to trust my instincts. I was reading a newspaper article that said that a builder called Craciun Dorin had found a time capsule from the 1960s whilst doing a park renovation at Crystal Palace Park.

The story said the capsule contained four old coins and a letter. It said that the winnings were from the 1964 Derby horse race, which saw a horse called Santa Claus romp home. The note urged its finder to use the money, worth around £10 today, to back a horse associated with Santa Claus.

The 2026 Derby was actually taking place on the day that I read the article and it had a horse running in it called Christmas Day! In another spooky twist, Craciun’s name means Christmas in his native Romania!

I very rarely place bets on horse racing. I sometimes do have a bet on the Grand National as it was a tradition in our family when I was a child. However, my instincts told me to have a punt and I therefore placed £10 on Christmas Day. That day we were going to a concert and to be on honest I forgot about the race.

Later that evening, on the journey home I noticed a notification on my phone from an online betting firm. It said that some money had been deposited into my bank account! I remembered that I had placed the bet earlier in the day and looked up to see how the horse had done.

It was a lovely surprise to find that it had won! Its winning odds had been reduced by a quarter because one of the other horses had not run. However, I found that I had still won £118 and in doing so had a lovely reminder to always trust my instincts.

This week, why not pause for a few moments to reflect. Consider if you trust your instincts enough and act on them when appropriate. Are your instincts currently urging you to take some action or change your direction or approach in any way?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk