“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything, it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.” Paulo Coelho.

So here we are at Christmas Eve, just a few hours before Christmas day and just over a week before we say goodbye to 2018. A popular pastime at Christmas is for families to watch films with a Christmas theme. One of the most popular films that falls into this category is Love Actually.

The film written and directed by Richard Curtis was released in 2003. It is set in London a frantic month before Christmas. It follows the lives of eight very different couples in dealing with their lives in various loosely interrelated tales. It’s a film all about connection and connections.

In November 2003 I was working in Denver, USA. One evening I decided to go out for a walk and explore the city. A short distance from my hotel I came across a cinema and went inside to find out what was showing. I discovered that the next showing was a film called Love Actually. It had only just come out and hadn’t been released in the UK yet.

The cinema was packed and in fact I got the last available seat at the end of a row. I really enjoyed the film and found it quite funny at various points. In a display of different humour preferences, I seemed to laugh at things that the local audience didn’t find as funny and they laughed at some things that I didn’t find particularly humorous.

One of the stars of film was the actress Martine McCutcheon who had previously been in the British soap opera EastEnders. In the film she was the love interest of the newly elected British Prime Minister called David.

So here are a few connections with what I have written above. Firstly, earlier this year I saw an interview with Martine McCutcheon on Mail online in which she said the biggest lesson she learned in life was to “Be yourself.”

This was interesting because the final chapter of the book I had just finished writing and has now been published (Just Be) was called “Be yourself.” The chapter contains a quotation that Martine mentions in the interview.

In the article, Martine explained that from an early age she enjoyed playing different characters or drifting off into a fantasy world to escape from her dysfunctional childhood at the hands of a violent and abusive father. That was her safe place and comfort zone.

The problem with this was that she never really knew who her authentic self was. This left her with a lack of self-confidence which she carried into adulthood.

When Martine was invited to the 2004 Bafta award ceremony she found herself surrounded by some of the most beautiful, talented actresses in the world. That’s when she remembered the old saying “Be Yourself. Everyone else is taken.” This is the quote that I had used in Just Be and have used as the title for this blog.

From that day in 2004, very gradually she started to look for her own version of success. She had always felt a little apologetic for her working class roots and a little embarrassed if she mixed with posh, well connected people.

Martine said it’s easy to think everyone else has it sussed because, even if they don’t, they act as if they do. However, she began to realise that it was all smoke and mirrors and all she lacked was their outward poise. Following marriage and the birth of her son, she has reordered her priorities. She says it has taken her 40 years but she has finally arrived at who she is.

Our heart holds our truth and who we really are. When we speak from the heart we are never lost for words and people intuitively know that we are expressing our truth. They may not always like our opinions but they will respect our honesty and feel we can be trusted to speak truthfully and to be authentic.

This Christmas and as we head into 2019 why not make a commitment to be authentic, true to who you really are and to be yourself.

Thank you for reading the blog. Have a wonderful Christmas.

This week why not take a moment to reflect and consider if there is any action that you need to take to just be yourself more.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk