“Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”
–  George Bernard Shaw.

Over the years, I’ve coached a few people who’ve conceded that when they get busy and stressed, they can become very single minded. They admit that they become inflexible in their approach in pursuing some goals. As a result, they stick rigidly to their ideas and plans.

For those people that are too inflexible in their dealings, this can have a detrimental impact on their relationships with others. It can also make them lose perspective and their vision can become very tunnelled. This can mean that on some occasions they stop listening to the valuable input and ideas of others. They can become defensive and this too has a negative impact on their relationships, with people distancing themselves and giving them a wide berth!

Sadly, some people find it challenging to show their vulnerability and admit that they made have made a mistake. Often this can be traced back to their upbringing and conditioning. Clients have told me of instances where they have got so caught up in a goal that they have been unwilling to let go of it. They have admitted that even when they have known deep down that their plans weren’t working, they haven’t tried something new. This came down to a need to be seen to be right.

The following story illustrates what can happen when we are too rigid in our thinking. It also demonstrates how having a willingness to change direction can be beneficial.

On a dark and foggy night in the midst of a stormy sea, the captain of a ship spotted what seemed to be the light from another ship in the distance. He quickly went to his station and flashed a message across the water, “Change your course twenty degrees north.” No sooner had he done this than a reply flashed back, “Change your course twenty degrees south.” The captain became angry and flashed back, “I am captain and a commander in the naval forces, and I say change your course twenty degrees north.” The responding message was signalled back, “I am a seaman first class with no commander, and I say change your course twenty degrees south.” This infuriated the captain who now signalled, “I am a battleship, and I say change your course twenty degrees north.” There was a brief pause as the angry captain awaited the reply. Finally, the response came, “I say change your course twenty degrees south, I am a lighthouse!”

If ever you catch yourself being too rigid in your approach bring the metaphor of the battleship and the lighthouse to mind. Remind yourself of the consequences of being inflexible.

In my experience people that are too inflexible show signs of being discontented and unhappy. It can also lead to them feeling anxious and overwhelmed.

The people with the most flexible approach to goals, relationships and life in general, tend to be happier and more contented.

They also enjoy a greater connection with others. This enables them to make the most of life and fulfil more of their potential.

This week have a think about if you need to change your plans and approach to a particular goal or project that you are pursuing. What would be the benefit of doing so and what motivates you to make a change? You may like to seek the views and input of others and think about in terms of:

  • What’s working?
  • What not quite working yet?
  • What needs to change?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk