“To keep a lamp burning, we have to put oil in it.” Mother Theresa.

Whilst listening to the radio, I heard the DJ Jackie Brambles refer to Graham McPherson, aka Suggs, the lead singer of Madness as one of life’s radiators. In my book ‘Be First Class’, I featured a theory about two types of people that affect our energy levels in very different ways. One was radiators, the other was drains.

The drains or empire vampires (as they are also known) are perennial moaners and negative people. You’ve probably come across this type of person yourself. They believe that “every silver lining has a cloud” and refer to their problems constantly. They don’t look for solutions. Often, they have much to be grateful for but don’t recognise this.

Drains choose to think about what they lack rather than the abundance they have. When you ask them how they are, they hunch their shoulders and say something like “fair to grim.” I refer to them as drains or energy vampires because they suck the life out of you with their negativity and stories of how unfair life is!

Conversely, radiators are positive people and they give off a positive vibe and when I’m around them I feel lighter, energised and happier. They have a ‘can do’ attitude and are solutions orientated people. I call them radiators because they are full of warmth, radiance and brightness. They have a glow about them and make those around them feel good.

Radiators have zest, vitality and make the most of the hand that life has dealt them. When you ask them how they are, they look you in the eye; they smile and say something positive and uplifting. They have a sense of gratitude and appreciation for what they have in life.

On many occasions, I have recommended to clients that they complete an exercise to identify the drains and radiators in their life. The exercise involves taking a piece of A4 paper and drawing a line down the centre. On the left-hand side, I suggest that they draw a positive sign and on the right-hand side a negative sign.

Having done this I suggest that they ask themselves the question, “What people/activities give me energy?” Their responses are noted under the positive side.

Then I suggest they ask, “What people/activities drain my energy?” Responses to this question are put underneath the negative sign. Once completed, the results can be reviewed and the client can decide if they wish to make any changes to the way they spend their time and who they spend it with.

We all have limited energy and time. It’s important that we use it wisely on activities that we enjoy and on people that are deserving of our attention and help us to feel good. As I’ve got older, I’ve become more discerning about how I invest my energy and who I spend time with.

If I’m around negative people for too long it has a real impact on my energy levels. My body starts to feel heavy; I feel tired and drained. The opposite happens when I’m in positive environments. More frequently I’m giving negative people a wide berth and avoiding negative environments.

I recommend that you do the same and invest your energy wisely in the same way that you would be careful where you invested a financial windfall!

This week, why not take a few moments out to pause and reflect on the following questions:        

  • What people/activities energise you?
  • What activities/people drain you?
  • What changes do you need to make to how spend your time?
  • What changes do you need to make to who you spend your time with?

 
To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk