Just prior to sitting down to write this week’s blog, I heard the song by Bobby McFerrin “Don’t worry, be happy.” It got me thinking that a wonderful piece of simple wisdom is contained within that song title.

To be happy is a great aspiration and hearing the song inspired me to write this piece.

I believe to be happy is a simple important goal to have in life. The Dalai Lama went a bit further than me when he said “The purpose of life is simple…to be happy.”

I accept that it isn’t always easy or possible to be happy when we suffer adversity. This particularly applies when we have to deal with sad situations such as the bereavement of a loved one or serious health issues. However, having a happy disposition and mindset may allow us to recover and bounce back from difficult and challenging experiences faster.

Having a foundation of happiness and gratitude within us, helps us to get things into perspective more quickly when difficult people and situations push our buttons. It allows us to move on if we temporarily feel angry, downhearted, frustrated or disappointed.

The good news is that being happy is within our control. It’s a choice as Abraham Lincoln said “Most people are about as happy as they make their mind up to be.”

I believe that the first rule of happiness is to actually allow ourselves to be happy and to be happy in our own skin. This means that you feel at peace and at ease with yourself, relaxed and grounded with a mindset that you can cope with whatever life throws at you.

This also involves having a belief and attitude that when the going gets tough, “This too will pass.” As a result of adopting this philosophy you choose not to dwell too long in situations and proactively take action to change things.

In order to be happy we must:

  • Feel that we deserve to be happy and give ourselves permission to be so
  • Let go of the need to ensure everyone else is happy before we focus on our own happiness
  • Give up a belief that we (and life) must be perfect before we can be happy
  • Accept that we are human and will make mistakes
  • Not put the key to our happiness in someone else’s pocket
  • Release the thought that we have to earn the right to be happy
  • Trust that it’s ok for us to be happy and that we don’t need the approval of others

Happiness can be a fuzzy concept. It means different things to different people. We all have our own unique happiness recipe. It’s important to spend time figuring out what makes up our personal and individual definition of happiness.

I have had many varied responses when I’ve asked clients the question “What makes you happy?”

Some say it’s seeing the family content, success at work, sporting triumph, listening to music, watching children enjoy themselves, spending time by the sea, reading a good book, going for a run, watching a film at the cinema etc.

This week why not take a few moments to reflect and consider what makes you happy. Decide what steps you can take to ensure that you choose to “Be happy.” Then commit to your first action step (which is often the hardest one to take).

This week’s quotation:

“Be happy with what you have and are, be generous with both and you won’t have to hunt for happiness.” William E Gladstone.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk