“Life is really simple but we insist on making it complicated.” Confucius.

I was thinking about the obstacles to success last week and the sort of unhelpful habits and behaviours that prevent us being the best we can be. This period of reflection reminded me that sometimes the biggest limitations we have in life are the ones that we place on ourselves and have in our minds.

I’ve discovered from coaching thousands of people over the past 21 years that the most common and largest limitation that prevent people fulfilling their potential is fear. This is often referred to as “false expectations appearing real.”

When you focus more attention and time on your fears, they can become your reality. We create what we think about and It’s useful to remember that what we focus on grows.

It’s interesting that we give so much power to our fears, as research suggests that we are born with just two fears. These are the fear of falling down and the fear of noise. Every other fear that we have is a learned behaviour.

We all pick up fear in a variety of ways throughout our lives and replay fearful stories over and over like mind movies. Every fear-based thought that we hold is a choice. We choose to believe in the fear reported by the media, a fear expressed by others or created in our mind. We absorb fears from all our environments. That’s why it’s so important that we’re discerning about the company we keep and where we invest our time and energy.

Some of the most common fears that clients mention in their coaching sessions are: –

  • Fear of change, which can keep people stuck and procrastinating.
  • Fear of the unknown, which sometimes stops people stepping out of their comfort zone.
  • Fear of rejection, which can prevent people asking for what they truly want.
  • Fear of criticism, which can mean people don’t attempt a new approach or start something new.

A 1984 New York Times study on social anxiety asked people what they most feared. The top two fears on the list were walking into a room full of strangers and speaking in public. This probably explains why many people dread making a speech or giving a presentation. Interestingly people worried more about meeting strangers or public speaking than they did about dying. Death was third on the list.

In order to reap rewards in life and to fulfil our potential we have to take risks. Sometimes when we are contemplating change it can bring up deep rooted fears. The reason for this is that as we get older, we may have experienced pain, disappointment, heartbreak or failure.

We are all born with unlimited potential but on occasions we simply get in our own way and make life more difficult than it needs to be. This aligns with this week’s quotation by Confucius.

To help us to experience and achieve all that is possible in life it’s vital we adopt a positive mindset to overcome our fears and obstacles. We can remind ourselves of our capabilities and previous achievements to help conquer our fears. Also, any challenging situations that we’ve conquered in the past provide us with valuable insights and lessons and can give us the confidence to take action.

It’s also important that we let go of the past so that we don’t allow it to define our future. It’s always good to remind ourselves that yesterday ended last night!

This week, why not take a few moments out to reflect and consider what action you would take if you were fearless and knew things would work out.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk