“Letting go helps us to live in a more peaceful state of mind and helps restore our balance. It allows others to be responsible for themselves and for us to take our hands off situations that do not belong to us. This frees us from unnecessary stress.” Melody Beattie.

Amazingly, it’s easy for your minds to spend time reminiscing about the past or contemplating the future. This prevents you from being present and enjoying the present moment and all that it has to offer. It can also trigger feelings of worry and anxiety.

When you live your life in the past and carry too much mental baggage around it stops you from being in the now.

A great story about carrying unnecessary stuff from the past concerns two monks who were on a pilgrimage:

One day the monks came to a deep river. At the edge of the river, a young woman sat weeping because she was afraid to cross the river without help. She begged the two monks to help her. The younger monk turned his back. The members of their order were forbidden to touch a woman. But the older monk picked up the woman without a word and carried her across the river. He put her down on the far side and continued his journey. The younger monk came after him, scolding him and berating him for breaking his vows. He went on this way for a long time.

Finally, at the end of the day the older monk turned to the younger one. “I only carried her across the river. You have been carrying her all day!”

It’s easy intellectually to understand the need and benefits of living life in the present moment. However, in practice lots of people find it challenging to let go of the past. They can understand that because something happened in the past that it probably won’t happen again. However, it isn’t always easy for them to accept this to be the case.

Many clients talk about how difficult they find it to let go of projects that aren’t working, ideas that haven’t taken off, bad habits that don’t serve them, false assumptions and participation in unhealthy environments and relationships. Some talk of how they are carrying grudges and finding it difficult to trust people who have shown poor behaviour and a lack of respect towards them.

Carrying around these hurts, frustrations and anger is a heavy burden to bear and uses up unnecessary energy. It also has no bearing on changing the outcome of what happened. It’s worth bearing in mind that previous experiences provide lessons, insights and wisdom for use in future situations.

The late author Wayne Dyer used to refer to personal history and the past by using the analogy of a speedboat. He said that when a speedboat zoomed across the water it created a white foamy froth behind it that’s called the wake of a boat. The wake is nothing more than the trail that’s left behind.

He asked if it was possible for the wake to drive the boat. In other words, can the trail left behind make a boat go forward? This rhetorical question has an obvious answer. The wake is just the trail that is left behind and can’t drive the boat forward. The answer to “What is driving the boat?” is that the boat moves forward across the water because of present moment energy generated by the engine.

He suggested that we apply this principle to our lives. He said that the wake isn’t in any logical way responsible for what we experience or are failing to experience in life today. The wake is just what is and nothing more, a trail that we’ve left behind.

But the question is, do people leave the trail behind or continue to carry it with them?

The past is helpful as a good reference point but you can’t live and fully embrace the present moment if you’re dwelling on the past. It’s important to remind yourself that the past isn’t your potential and to not let it colour your future.

This week, why not pause for a few moments to reflect. Consider if there is anything that you need to let go of.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk