“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” Buddha.

Recently a client was talking to me about a decluttering exercise they were going through and how they were finding it difficult to let go of some of their possessions. I find this situation to be quite common.

We tend to cling to clutter because we think we may need something in the future. Alternatively, we may feel guilty about disposing of something that was given to as a present by someone else. It could be that we think that by getting rid of something we will lose the connection to it.

There are two simple questions to ask when considering whether to get rid of something. These are:

  • Do I love it?
  • Do I use it?

If the answer is no to both then it has to go.

It’s not just physical clutter that we struggle to let go of. Sometimes we hold onto feelings and find it challenging to let go of disappointment, mistakes and set- backs. We may have been treated badly by someone and find it a struggle to shake off feelings of hurt, anger and frustration. By holding onto the feelings and emotions we may find it difficult to forgive ourselves and others.

There is a great story about two monks which illustrates how we can hold onto things longer than we need to.

One day, two monks set out for a temple in a valley beyond the woods. While cutting a pathway through the woods, they came across a choppy stream they needed to cross. There, stood by the bank of the stream, was a beautiful young maiden dressed in silk. She was clearly at a loss as to how to cross without getting muddy and wet.

So, without thinking twice, the elder monk gestured to pick her up. Shocked, she obliged. He put her over his shoulder and waded across to the other side. The younger monk, dismayed and uneasy at what he had witnessed, followed in tow.

Upon reaching the other side of the bank, the elder monk put the maiden down gently. The maiden paid her respects and walked on. The monks then continued on their way to the temple.

As they navigated through the forest, the younger monk, still troubled by what he’d seen, asked, “How could you do that? We aren’t even supposed to make eye contact with women, let alone pick them up and carry them!”

Without a thought, the elder monk turned to the younger monk and said, “Oh, are you still carrying her? I put her down hours ago when I reached the other side of the stream.”

And with that, the elder monk turned and continued leading the way through the forest, leaving the younger monk to contemplate his words for the remainder of the journey.

This simple story is a great reminder about living in the present moment.

How often do we carry around past hurts, holding onto resentments when the only person we are really hurting is ourselves?

We all experience times in our life where people behave in an unreasonable way towards us. When we continue to contemplate past actions or events it can have the effect of being a distraction and negatively impact our energy levels.

We can choose to let go of things that no longer serve us at any time. We are all responsible for the choices that we make.

In the story, the older monk chose to go against his vows to help the lady. He then made a choice to let go of any self- criticism. The younger monk made a choice to hold onto judgement, blame and anger for a number of hours.

This week, why not take some time to reflect and consider if there is something that you need to let go of.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk