“Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart.’’ Jose N’Harris.

Last week was probably the most challenging week that I have experienced in my life so far. It’s almost a year since my dad died shortly after my birthday so I have been thinking about that. Sadly, on Monday last week my mother passed away suddenly and unexpectedly just two days after my birthday. I if I’m honest as I have now lost both my parents in a short space of time, it has really hit me hard.

My dad’s death in 2020 was really hard to take. However, I don’t mind saying that my Mum’s passing has felt much worse. I think that it’s because there is such a finality to it. The two people who have been constants in the whole of my life aren’t here any longer and that is difficult to take on board. I have found that difficult to get my head around.

I will be ok but it’s going to take time. I’m grateful that my mother didn’t suffer for too long and that she died in her comfortable home rather than a hospital. It’s a great source of comfort to me to know that my mum wasn’t alone when she died as a neighbour had popped in check up on how she was feeling. I also feel gratitude that mum didn’t have to go into a residential care facility, was able to look after herself and stayed mentally alert and sharp right to the end of her life.

What I learned on Friday evening from an email is really interesting. Apparently, National Grief Awareness Week 2021 takes place this week between December 2 and 7. I was previously unaware that such an event takes place.

After a little research I discovered that a National Grief Awareness Week seeks to raise awareness of all aspects of grief and loss on a national scale. To offer access to a choice of tailored bereavement support to all those grieving in the UK and to those working with the bereaved. To ensure immediate access to support for all types of bereavement in local communities across the country. To raise awareness of smaller front-line organisations in the UK and to give them a national platform to reach those in need in their local area. To help the public to better understand how to support those grieving the loss of someone they love. To open conversations and normalise grief.

I will write about some of my reflections and discoveries on the subject of grief over the coming weeks. In the meantime, I share below a poem that my niece read out at my dad’s funeral.

I’m Free

Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free
I’m following the path God has laid you see.
I took His hand when I heard him call
I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to work, to play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way
I found that peace at the close of day.

If my parting has left a void
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss
Oh yes, these things I too will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life’s been full, I savoured much
Good friends, good times, a loved one’s touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief
Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your hearts and peace to thee
God wanted me now; He set me free.

This week, why not reach out to someone who maybe struggling with grief and offer your assistance. Let them know you are thinking of them and that you genuinely care.

On the other hand, if you are struggling to come terms with a loss, why not make this the week that you seek some support to help you with your feelings and the challenges you may be experiencing.

Finally, if you need to cry, let the tears flow as it’s part of the grieving process. There’s no need to feel ashamed, weak or any other of the words we tell ourselves in a self-critical way. As this week’s quotation says ”Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart.’’

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk