Be First Class

“To keep a lamp burning, we have to put oil in it.” Mother Theresa.

Following the change of clocks in the UK a few weeks ago, my sleep was quite disrupted for a week or so. This left me feeling a bit more tired than usual.

This was a good reminder to me that we have all have a finite amount of time and energy and it’s important we use it wisely. It’s helpful to think that energy is like money. It’s vital that we don’t fritter it away, that we invest/spend it sensibly and look for ways that increase our return on investment.

As I’ve got older, I’ve become more discerning about how I invest my energy and who I spend time with. In my book Be First Class, I featured a theory about two types of people that affect our energy levels in very different ways.

The two types of people are drains or radiators.

The drains or empire vampires (as they are also known) are perennial moaners and negative people. You’ve probably come across this type of person yourself. They believe that “every silver lining has a cloud” and refer to their problems constantly. They don’t look for solutions. Often, they have much to be grateful for but don’t recognise this.

Drains choose to think about what they lack rather than the abundance they have. When you ask them how they are, they hunch their shoulders and say something like “fair to grim.” I refer to them as drains or energy vampires because they suck the life out of you with their negativity and stories of how unfair life is!

Conversely, radiators are positive people and they give off a positive vibe. They have a “can do” attitude and are solutions orientated people. I call them radiators because they are full of warmth, radiance and brightness. They have a glow about them and make those around them feel good.

Radiators have zest, vitality and make the most of the hand that life has dealt them. When you ask them how they are, they look you in the eye; they smile and say something positive and uplifting. They have a sense of gratitude and appreciation for what they have in life.

On many occasions, I have recommended to clients that they complete an exercise to identify the drains and radiators in their life. The exercise involves taking a piece of A4 paper and drawing a line down the centre. On the left-hand side, I suggest that they draw a positive sign and on the right-hand side a negative sign.

Having done this I suggest that they ask themselves the question, “What people/activities give me energy?” Their responses are noted under the positive sign.

Then I suggest they ask, “What people/activities drain my energy?” Responses to this question are put underneath the negative sign.

Once completed, the results can be reviewed and the client can decide if they wish to make any changes to the way they spend their time and who they spend it with.

If I’m around negative people for too long it has a real impact on my energy levels. My body starts to feel heavy; I feel tired and drained. The opposite happens when I’m around positive people. I feel lighter, energised and happier.

More frequently I’m giving negative people a wide berth and avoiding negative environments. I recommend that you do the same and invest your energy wisely in the same way that you would be careful where you invested a financial windfall!

This week, why not take a few moments out to pause and reflect on the following questions:        

• What people/activities energise you?
• What activities/people drain you?
• What changes do you need to make to how you spend your time?
• What changes do you need to make to who you spend your time with?

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Everyone can do simple things to make a difference, and every little bit really does count.” Stella McCartney.

Dr Jane Goodall, who died in October, aged 91, devoted her life to the study and conservation of chimpanzees and the other great apes. Through her pioneering ways to study them, Goodall discovered that chimps used tools, created complex societies and could be so aggressive they could even kill one another.

Her work made waves amongst her fellow researchers but the public responded enthusiastically to her revelations. Earlier this year, she was recognised with a Medal of Freedom by then US President, Joe Biden, this is in addition to her damehood in the UK and other international plaudits.

Jane Goodall said the following quote about changing the world, which resonated with me:

“You can not get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do makes a difference and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.”

This quote emphasizes the significance of individual actions in shaping the world. It highlights that everyone has a role to play in making a positive impact and that we must consciously choose the kind of difference we wish to create.

Making a positive difference in the world is an important part of life to many of us. We want to feel that we have made a positive and unique contribution to help make the world a better place. I sometimes think that we never really get to know and understand the full impact that we have on other’s lives with our positive actions and the ripple effect they create.

We don’t fully appreciate the impact our supportive words have when someone is feeling nervous. A simple act like smiling at someone when they are feeling down can have a positive influence as can carrying out random acts of kindness.

We create ripples constantly by our actions. For instance. each time we buy products it supports the economy and helps to create and sustain jobs. A carefully crafted presentation that we deliver to a colleague or team may inspire them to try a new approach or develop new skills. If we set out with an intention to create positive outcomes and ripples then we are likely to fulfil that objective.

It could be that you have a conversation with a relative, colleague or friend that helps to increase their energy or motivation. It may be that you pass on a piece of knowledge or information that develops someone’s thinking and sparks some new ideas and/or creativity.

Alternatively, you may create the space and right environment to listen to someone outline some thoughts and ideas they have to solve a challenge. In doing so, you might help them get some clarity about the steps they need to take.

Someone that has suffered some disappointment or had their confidence dented may have their spirits lifted by the positive words of encouragement that you offer them at that the right moment. In doing so you may provide them with the belief and strength to persevere and to quickly bounce back.

We all have the ability to make a positive contribution and make a difference to our personal environments and our part of the world in our own unique way. It is a choice.

As Sir Winston Churchill once said “Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” We can all choose to have a great attitude and to create positive ripples and spread good energy.

This week, why not take a few moments to reflect and consider some ways that you can make a difference and create some positive ripples in your environments.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“If you think you can or you think you can’t, you are probably right.” Henry Ford.

As we enter the final part of 2025, many of us will start thinking about the goals and results we would like to achieve next year.

Our beliefs play a pivotal role in the results that we achieve in life and help to shape and influence our behaviour. Whatever we believe dictates how we respond to situations and determines how we relate to the people that we meet and interact with. It’s therefore important that we regularly review our beliefs and ensure they are working for us in a positive way.

If you believe that you will achieve a goal no matter what life throws at you, then you are more likely to do just that, rather than someone who believes they can never have what they really want.

When a hypnotist hypnotizes someone, they insert a belief into their mind and this influences how that person thinks and behaves. During hypnosis a person can adopt a belief that an orange is an apple or that a pencil is far too heavy to lift. These inserted beliefs change the person’s reality and what they believe they can and can’t do. In much the same way we can all be hypnotized throughout our lives by the ideas we take on from others and believe to be true.

Most of our beliefs about ourselves and how the world operates are formed in early childhood. They are shaped by our parents, grandparents, relatives, teachers, past experiences, media, culture, peers, friends & religion.  Aside from physical differences, it’s our different experiences and beliefs that make us all unique.

We may have false beliefs that stunt our growth. An example of a false belief that was universally accepted was that the earth was flat and that if you sailed far enough you would fall off the edge of the earth. Often, we don’t realise what our beliefs consist of or how they have been formed but they influence every moment of every day.

Every belief has a structure to it which we can change if we choose to. It’s like carrying a recording in our heads.  If the recording is working for us, we can keep it and maybe update it occasionally. However, if the recording is limiting us, we can take it out and re-record it, so we have one that is working for us.

We accept opinions from influential people in our lives and hold them as facts. However, they aren’t facts but perceptions formed through our experience and other people’s views. Beliefs are views about us, others and the world.  These views determine the decisions we take and the way we behave. If we want to change our results in life then the process starts with changing our beliefs.

Beliefs determine how we think and how we talk to ourselves (our self-talk) and this determines how we behave. If we’re overly self- critical or hard on ourselves then we won’t necessarily enjoy the journey towards a particular goal. We’ll feel stressed, anxious and frustrated from time to time.

However, if our self-talk is kinder, more encouraging and positive then the journey will be a more enjoyable one. We’ll feel better and therefore behave more confidently. Our results are more likely to be more positive.

There are two types of belief. We can have empowering ones which help us to believe that we can achieve. They propel us forward towards our goals and help us to feel confident and good about ourselves. Alternatively, we can have limiting beliefs. These hold us back, hinder our progress and negatively impact our confidence levels. They mean we get in our own way.

The Four-Minute Mile

In 1954, Roger Bannister helped to change conventional wisdom and beliefs that people held by breaking the four-minute mile record. Prior to the race and his attempt to smash this barrier, people had urged him not to try it. They’d told him it was dangerous and life threatening. However, he ignored all this advice and successfully broke the record.

Once he’d achieved this, four runners broke the record within a year because they knew it was possible and could be done.  Following Bannister’s achievement, athletes changed their beliefs. They told themselves they could do it and as a result their bodies performed more effectively.

There are countless examples of beliefs missing the point. Many said photocopiers, telephones and computers would not catch on.  Look how those beliefs turned out!

It’s important that we continue to challenge the beliefs we have and ensure they are working positively for us. All of us have the power and control over our beliefs which shape our self-talk/thoughts, behaviour and ultimately our results in life.

This week, why not take some time out to reflect. Consider which of your beliefs empower you and which limit your performance. Having done this decide if there is anything that you’re motivated to change.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk