Be First Class

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” Leonardo Da Vinci.

The clocks will go back one hour in the UK this coming Sunday (October 26^th) and this marks the official end of British Summer Time. With summer ending, it’s a good time to take some time to reflect, evaluate and plan. During this process, you can consider how you are doing against any goals and desires that you set for the year.

You can determine if outstanding personal and professional goals are still relevant. If they aren’t then you can decide to let them go. Alternatively, if you feel that they are still appropriate you can formulate a plan of action to re-energise them and achieve them by the year end.

Essentially, it’s a good time to take stock and get clear on where you are at in life. Once you’ve done this, you can start to turn your attention to what you would like to create and experience in the New Year. This helps to start the planning process. You can plant seeds that can blossom next year.

During your reflections you can think about how you can bring greater balance to your life and what action you can take to increase your happiness. You can also consider if anything needs to change about your job/business, diet, general health and fitness, sleep or relationships.

To help you with this process, I suggest that you ask yourself “What am I no longer willing to tolerate in my life?”

You may conclude that some of your habits or routines need to be changed or released.  Once you’ve done this you can then turn your attention to deciding what healthy habits you would like to create in your life.

You may feel that you have some mental clutter that needs to be sorted and reduced. You may feel overwhelmed or that you’re over thinking things. You might think that you’re spending too much time locked in your head.

There may be some physical clutter that you need to dispose of. Clutter is defined in the Oxford dictionary “as a crowded and untidy collection of things.” Clutter can also be described as things that are no longer needed or used, disorganised and untidy or crammed into a small space. It’s also anything that is unfinished or incomplete.

In summary, like trees shedding their leaves in autumn, you can shed anything that you no longer need, that no longer serves you or weighs you down. You can let go of things both mentally and physically.

Letting go of mental clutter will make you feel lighter and provide some clarity. When you purge physical clutter, it will create space in your life to experience new things and adventures.

Life gets simplified when you let stuff go. When you commit to change and decide to let go of things it requires some effort, discipline, and determination. You also need to be consistent in your actions to embed new behaviours and habits.

Letting go of things isn’t always easy to do.  Beginning the process and taking the first step is often the hardest one to take. However, once you act, you will create some momentum and will be able to embrace a new way of being more easily.

This particularly applies if you’re looking to change a long-held habit or behaviour. In such circumstances, it’s good to remind yourself what the long-term benefits of the transformation will be. Having clarity on how the sacrifice will be worthwhile in the long run will motivate you to act and overcome any procrastination.

This week why not take a few moments to reflect and ask yourself what you need to let go of by the year end. You can also decide what healthy habits you would like to create.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Mistakes and pressure are inevitable; the secret to getting past them is to stay calm.” Travis Bradberry.

Last week’s blog, featured Vinnie Jones and how he talked about mental health challenges in his tv series Vinnie Jones in the Country. Coincidentally, I realised after I published it that last Friday was World Mental Health Day.

In the blog, I mentioned that we all suffer setbacks, challenges and disappointments in our life. In such challenging times, it’s vital that we have people that we can talk to that won’t judge us and will help us navigate a path to a more settled and smoother life experience. Also developing and maintaining a calm mind helps us to cope with difficult times.

However, there are some things that impact our ability to keep our mind calm. It can be challenging to remain calm when there’s lots of change happening in our life particularly if this is sudden and unexpected. Even planned change can be a bumpy ride in the process of getting from A to B and ultimately achieving great results.

Negative interactions, environments and news stories can have a detrimental effect on our equilibrium and stop us from feeling calm. We can easily feel pressured and stressed by having to respond to many different demands and juggle many priorities.

We have been conditioned to think in terms of instant gratification and results. Today’s fast paced society allows us access to a lot of information and resources quickly. This can leave us feeling overwhelmed and can lead to feelings of anxiety. The major advances in technology like smart phones, laptops and tablets can make us feel like we are always “switched on and connected to the external world.”

There is also a new phenomenon “FOMO” (fear of missing out) which means that many people spend lots of time connected to social media feeds in order to catch up on all the latest news and updates by their connections.

We also have rolling 24/7 news bulletins which allow for major news stories to be brought to us in wall-to-wall coverage which goes into lots of detail. Currently they are telling stories of conflict, division and suffering. Negative news stories affect our mood and impact our ability to stay calm.

All this can mean that our minds struggle to get some quality downtime and have a rest. There’s little time to process and assess information that we come across. The demands of life can mean that we have limited patience to let things unfold naturally.

Here are a few thoughts on things that can help us to be calm and centred: –

Reduce the amount of time spent on technology

Have a cut off time for when to stop checking your phone, emails and social media feeds. Consider a technology detox and give yourself a technology free day (or weekend) every week.

Develop greater patience

It is said that patience is a virtue. Having more patience helps to create more life balance and stops us expecting instant results. Letting life unfold naturally develops inner calm and reduces anxiety.

Develop the “acceptance” habit

Accept things as they are and stop trying to rewrite history. This means that you can focus on being more present and consider options and solutions to resolve challenges.

Externalise thoughts

Get into the habit of doing a mind dump of things that are worrying you or causing anxiety. Regularly record your reflections, lessons, desires and insights in a journal or notebook.

Create some quiet time – no distractions

Schedule some daily time where you are alone with your thoughts. It can be just 5 or 10 minutes. This will allow you to gain valuable insights and allow your inner wisdom to rise to the surface.

Less is more

Focus on fewer things. Get rid of unwanted items and clutter. Reduce the number of goals and tasks that you’re responsible for. Let goals take root rather than giving them superficial attention.

This week, why not pause for a few moments to reflect. Consider what action you can take to develop and maintain a calm mind.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk

“Once your mind and body is healthy, it creates a freedom that helps you enjoy life.” Milind Soman

Vinnie Jones is an actor, presenter and former professional footballer. He had a reputation as a footballer for being a bit of a hard man and tough competitive opponent. I have enjoyed watching his tv series Vinnie Jones Life in the Country. It follows his life establishing a new life in rural Sussex after moving back from living in the USA.

Vinnie has purchased around 2000 acres of West Sussex countryside and the show features his ambitious farm renovation and environmental projects. During the series, Vinnie talks about own mental health struggles following the death of his wife Tanya in 2019, after a 6-year battle with skin cancer. They had been married 25 years.

One of the programmes sees Vinnie donate a handmade hedgehog walking stick to a charity auction at Blenheim Palace. The proceeds from the auction went to a mental health and suicide prevention charity for people in the farming and countryside community.

Prior to the bidding starting Vinnie talks to the potential bidders about mental health and the impact the loss of his wife had on him. He said that he found it useful to talk to friends and to keep them close. He also said that we should all be available to talk and put an arm around friends and family in times of need.

The lady who bought the walking stick for £1000 had a good reason for doing so. She explained that the issue of mental health was close to her heart. Sadly, she had lost her daughter to suicide 12 years ago. She explained that when she sees people pushing the boat out to get awareness out there, she wanted to buy the walking stick to help support this.

Many people came up to Vinnie at the conclusion of the auction to thank him for helping to raise awareness and to educate people about the mental health challenges faced by some.

Sadly, there is still a mental health stigma around. As a result, some people feel they have to be brave and not discuss their feelings. I believe that people need to be encouraged to speak openly about how they are feeling. My belief is that if people talk about their mental health challenges, their emotions and what they are going through it isn’t a sign of weakness but a sign of strength.

We all suffer setbacks, challenges and disappointments in our life. In such challenging times, it’s vital that we have people that we can talk to that won’t judge us and will help us navigate a path to a more settled and smoother life experience. If people don’t have someone close to talk to, it’s important that they reach out and get some professional support or help from a mental health charity.

In the 1990’s there was an advert for British Telecom and it included the slogan “it’s good to talk.” How true that is when you are feeling under pressure, anxious or a bit down in the dumps. It’s far better than bottling up feelings. As the old saying goes “a problem shared is a problem halved.” Sharing how you feel helps to put things into perspective and problems can seem less overwhelming and easier to manage.

This week, why not pause for a few moments to reflect. Consider if you need to talk to someone about something that is troubling you. Alternatively, do you need to reach out to a friend or family member that has had a challenging time recently to check that they are ok and to see if they need a chat.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk