‘’The purpose of our lives is to be happy.’’ Dalai Lama

A few weeks ago, I wrote about the International Day of Happiness and that this year’s theme explored the relationship between social media and happiness, highlighting the potential challenges for our wellbeing as well as ways we can all use technology for good.

After I had written the blog, I was reminded of a simple but powerful exercise I did on my coach training back in 2001. We were asked to answer the question “What is my personal definition of happiness?” with a series of bullet points.

To be happy is a great aspiration for many people but not many people take the time to really think about what happiness means to them. The definition is unique to all of us. For some it’s seeing the family content, success at work, finding and maintaining a close intimate relationship or having a wide circle of friendships. It could be that sporting achievements feature or something like listening to music, watching children enjoy themselves, spending time by the sea, reading a good book, going for a run, watching a film at the cinema etc.

I believe to be happy is an important goal to have in life. I accept that it isn’t always easy or possible to be happy when we suffer adversity. This particularly applies when we have to deal with sad situations such as the bereavement of a loved one or serious health issues. However, having a happy disposition and mindset may allow us to recover and bounce back from difficult and challenging experiences faster.

Having a foundation of happiness within us, helps us to get things into perspective more quickly when difficult people and situations push our buttons. It allows us to move on if we temporarily feel angry, downhearted, frustrated or disappointed. The good news is that being happy is within our control. It’s a choice as Abraham Lincoln said “Most people are about as happy as they make their mind up to be.”

I believe that one rule of happiness is to allow ourselves to be happy in our own skin. This means that we feel at peace and at ease with ourselves, relaxed and grounded with a mindset that we can cope with whatever life throws at us. This will also involve remembering that when the going gets tough to have a belief and attitude that reminds us “This too will pass.” As a result of this philosophy, we can choose not to dwell too long in situations and proactively take action to change things.

In order to be happy, we must:

  • Feel that we deserve to be and give ourselves permission to be so.
  • Let go of the need to ensure everyone else is happy before we focus on our own happiness.
  • Give up a belief that we must be perfect before we can experience true happiness.
  • Accept that we are human and will make mistakes.
  • Not put the key to our happiness in someone else’s pocket.
  • Release the thought that we have to earn the right to be happy.
  • Trust that it’s ok for us to be happy and that we don’t need the approval of others.

 
We get one life, it’s short. Everyone has the right to be happy and we can all do our best to not delay or defer our happiness. Choose to be happy, starting right now!

This week, why not pause for a few moments to reflect. Consider what makes you happy and whether you are spending enough time on the things that bring you happiness.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk