“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” Winston Churchill.

It’s important sometimes to put your needs first to deal with overwhelm and the need to balance many priorities. This helps to keep your energy levels high.

As I get older, I’m becoming more discerning about how I invest my energy and who I spend my time with. When I am around the vibe given off by pessimistic, complaining and negative people it starts to have a real impact on my energy levels. My body starts to feel heavy; I feel tired and drained.

I know that we all have challenges and problems from time to time and life isn’t always a bed of roses. In the face of difficulty and adversity, it isn’t easy for people to remain upbeat. It’s important we offer support to those with genuine challenges and problems to solve.

What I’m referring to are the perennial moaners and negative people. You’ve probably come across these people yourself.  They believe that “every silver lining has a cloud” and refer constantly to their problems and don’t look for solutions. Often, they have much to be grateful for but they don’t recognise this. They choose to think about what they lack rather than the abundance they have.

When you ask them how they are, they hunch their shoulders and say something like “fair to grim” and launch into a detailed account of their troubles. I refer to them as “drains or energy vampires” because they suck the life out of you with their negativity and stories of how life is unfair! More frequently, I am choosing to give them a wide berth.

Conversely, I have noticed that when I’m around positive people (those that give off a positive vibe) with a “can do” attitude and solutions orientated approach, I feel lighter, energised and happier. I refer to these people as “radiators” as they are full of warmth, radiance and brightness. They have zest, vitality and they make the most of the hand that life has dealt them. When you ask them how they are, they look you in the eye; they smile and say something positive and uplifting. They have a sense of gratitude and appreciation for what they have in life.

An exercise that I recommend is to take an A4 piece of paper and draw a line down the centre. On the left-hand side draw a positive sign and right-hand side a negative sign. Ask yourself the question “what people/activities give me energy?” Note down your responses under the positive sign.

Then ask yourself, “what people/activities drain my energy?”  Note your responses under the negative sign. Review your results and decide if you need to make any changes to the way you spend your time.

In this information rich, time poor world there are many potential sources of distractions and demands on our time. Technology is amazing however it brings its challenges. It’s said that the conscious brain can only handle 7 bits of information at any one time and is a reason why we can feel overloaded at times.

The overwhelmed feeling can also prevent us from starting new pursuits as we feel we don’t have sufficient time or mental capacity to take on anything new. When clients are feeling this way, I recommend they look at ways to create more space and time.

I suggest that they spend some time considering what they can STOP doing to create some space for some new habits and behaviours and provide some room for growth.

Clients who have compiled a STOP doing list tell me that it gave them greater clarity, helped to sharpen their focus and gave them renewed energy. They say that it allowed them to concentrate on their most important and rewarding activities. Clients normally complete lists for both their personal and professional lives.

Here are a few common examples of what clients choose to STOP doing:

  • Using “reply all” with e mail.
  • Checking social network sites.
  • Using e mail alerts/notifications.
  • Checking email outside of designated time slots.
  • Holding meetings with no agenda or clear objectives or doing recaps for late arrivals.
  • Failing to preserve uninterrupted time for important personal and professional projects.
  • Being afraid to say no to requests for help.

 
This week, why not pause for a few moments. Consider what people/activities give you energy and what people/activities drain your energy. Also decide what habits and behaviours you can stop doing to create more space and time.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk