“Authenticity is very important – be true to one’s self.” Laila Ali.

When I started work, my dad gave me a great piece of advice.

He said “People may try to influence you into their way of thinking and away from what your instincts are telling you. They may want you to follow their actions and behaviours. Always remember to do the right thing. You don’t have to follow the crowd. Be your own man, unto yourself be true.”

The wisdom my dad shared has stuck with me all my life. It has meant at times I’ve expressed views that weren’t shared by others. Sometimes I’ve had to put my head above the parapet, take a risk and express how I truly felt on some issues, even if I was a lone voice. This hasn’t always been the easy path but I’ve always done this respectfully. It has enabled me to know that I have spoken my truth.

When we live authentically, we open up the door for others to do the same. It allows people to feel relaxed in our company. Putting people at ease encourages them to be themselves without fear of being judged. They know that they can trust what they are experiencing and be genuine.

It helps to lay foundations of trust in our families, teams and relationships. Authentic communication may not always be what people want to hear. However, they do come to respect those people who are consistent, can be relied upon to speak their truth and are genuine and honest in how they communicate.

This means people get clarity and an understanding of where they stand and this helps them to feel secure. They feel safe in the knowledge that their relationship with the person is real.

In modern life, people are crying out for greater transparency and want to be given the real facts. Many question the integrity of some marketing and advertising and struggle to discern what’s real and what’s made up.

There are various pieces posted on the internet where the accuracy of reports and claims is, on occasions, dubious. Much has been written and spoken in recent times about fake news. This phrase was named as word of the year by Collins in 2017 and included in their dictionary.

As Shakespeare famously wrote: “To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”

When we express on the outside what we think or feel on the inside, our life enters a new level of alignment. We feel in the flow and words can come easily. We don’t have to over-think or analyse, we just have to be. If we learn to speak and act from the heart, we will never be lost for words.

Keeping your word and commitments and being authentic are a major part of building integrity. Much is written about this and its importance in developing trust and healthy relationships.

It’s a personal quality of fairness and doing the right thing in a reliable way.  A story that illustrates how integrity can be easily developed relates to Mahatma Gandhi. In 1931, Gandhi travelled to Britain to attend the round table conference and influence the British public over the plight of India under British rule.

Here was a man with no perceived power. He appeared frail, dressed in simple robes with no political office and no wealth. He spoke for nearly two hours without notes and he mesmerized many members of parliament and the press.

Since it was difficult for the press to reach Gandhi due to the crowds and security, the press approached his secretary, Mahadev Desai to ask some questions. One of the questions they asked was how he was able to speak so powerfully for two hours without any notes!

He said, “You don’t understand. You don’t understand Gandhi. You see, what he thinks is what he feels. What he feels is what he says and what he says is what he does. What Gandhi thinks, what he feels, what he says and what he does are all the same. He does not need notes. You and I think things that sometimes may be different to what we feel. What we say depends on who’s listening. What we do depends on who’s watching. It is not so with him. He needs no notes.”

This week, why not pause for a few moments to reflect. Consider what situation(s) or relationship(s) in your life require you to adopt a more authentic approach.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk